Add to Playlist

Taint been a lotta invensherns over the corse a time that one wood say was ignurnt... more »
Published March 28, 2012 97 views More Info »
It's time for all y'all to hang up on my every word again
cause this here's Loretta Jenkins...
What, whaaaaaat?
And thanky for comin' back for some more How I Seize It.
I tries to stay on top the times
cause like, I just deletes my Myspace...
cause I reckon that's stoop now.
I found out what was popular last week when this crazed fan
of mine cornered me up in the bathroom at the mall
sayin' all like she's gonna 'tweets' me.
I don't take kindly to threats,
so I was like Bam!
Anyways, after her nose stops bleedin',
and we LOLOL'ed about all the confusion and everything,
she starts talkin' about this Twitters...
and I was bored after about ten to twelve words in.
So basically, Twitters is these people that's
what we call 'Attention Whores'
and they like the 'less popular' folks to hang
on they every word so that they, in turn,
don't feel so lonely on the Earth,
they they, in fact, are just as goddamn lonely
and losers as the Tweeterers are.
I mean they got they own Twitter language
and sometimes they ain't even got no vowels in them.
I think youngins ought to learn English more
before they go out there and make up new words
to go in the dictionary!
English is hard enough already!
Damn fresh-off-the-boat Mexicans speaks better English
than most of these ignoramuses...
Ignorami? Shit...
Now hears this!
I gots a startlin' prediction about what's gonna happen
if we don't stop Twiddlin' each other!
So basically it's like the e-mail took the place of regular mail
like what's took the place of Pony Express
what's took the place of hyroglifix!
All this Twiddlin' shit is gonna replace actual conversation
when our brains is gonna stop workin' to learn
to even learn how to form words
where we can't even talk to each other!
It's stoop.
And all the icecaps is gonna melt and go in reverse
and then we all gonna be covered up in metal
like that bitch on Superman movie
and we all gonna turn into robots
and is THAT the kind of world we want to leave to our next generation?
I think that Steve Jobs oughta come from back the dead
and come make me into a robot.
Call that shit, iBitch!
And now that Demi Moore done got all old and wrinkly and shit
maybe Ashton Kutcher come over hereand Twitter on me.
And by Twitter I mean
'Fuck me til I talk retarded.'
LOLOLOLOL, y'all...
I heard from this gal that seen him naked
on Two Half Mens and she said he gotta
big ole pecker but, stingy mother fucker
still ain't send me no cock tweet,
so til then...just a rumor I guess.
You dumbasses think that Twitter mean
a celebrity care about you?
They couldn't give two Hershey squirts about you
or your boring fat ass life.
Wouldn't care less if you lived or died,
but Lo love you!
So follow me on Twitters,
so I can get more popular on the Googles.
So my Twizzler addy would be somethin' like...
one of them...
It's like a circle with a loop around it...
It'd be aposaphe Loretta Jenkins.
SMH, y'all.
But remember, just cause I let you follow me
on the Twiddlers don't mean that we friends.
You asshats got that?
Y'all tweets me and if I'm sober enough
or I care enough about it, I might tweets you back.
Well, I probably won't, but I'll read yours.
Who am I kiddin'?
Well that's How I Seize It.

From Around the Web