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Published September 19, 2010 190 views More Info »
2 Funny Votes
7 Die Votes
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Published September 19, 2010
Intro

And now, back from the future to conceive humanity’s savior, it’s TOTOTTILSJUMB!!!

Conan

In honor of our new opponents, Sacramento State, we’ve decided to dedicate the show to our illustrious governor: Arnold Schwarzennegger! Many criticize our naturalized governor, but a quick look at his accomplishments reveals the amazing work he’s done. Unlike most politicians, Arnold launched his geopolitical career by stripping half naked, killing a horde of snake warriors, and punching a camel. And between Arnold and a witchdoctor bent on conquering the world, who’s really the barbarian?

Formation: Sword. Arnold fights an animal, possibly the squirrel or pig from an old show
Song: Battle Without Honor or Humanity
Video Board: Conan the Gubernatorian

Terminato

While people may have criticized Arnold’s stance against social services, they almost never mention his much more adamant stance against evil robots. Arnold should know; unlike 9 out of 10 American governors, Arnold was born somewhere else: the future.

Formation: Arnold fights a robot. The band form a movie screen shaped rectangle around them.
Song: Harder, Better, Faster, Stronge
Video Board: Vote NO on prop. 350: Skynet

Predato

When other politicians are too scared to take a stance on the issues, The Governator defends America’s interests with blood, sweat, and Austrian ingenuity. Some politicians make vague statements like “go back to where you came from, space invaders.” Or, “we need to defend our celestial borders from these space invaders.” Arnold doesn’t make statements, he goes mano-a-mano with human hunters from beyond the stars. Arnold’s actions speak louder than his words. Arnold’s actions, speak American.

Formation: A stereotypical UFO
Song: Como Ves
Video Board: An end to predatory politics

Kindergarten Cop

With the state’s funds the way they are, Arnold has had little choice but to slash our schools' budgets to the bone. But then he did something nobody expected: he went undercover, switching places with kindergarten teacher to seek and destroy waste in the school system. Along the way he learned that while tough-as-nails drug cops make wonderful kindergarten teachers, unfortunately kindergarten teachers make awful drug cops.

Formation: Police Shield ->Heart
Arnold gets chased by a few bandies on their knees
Song: Law and Order Theme
Video Board: The 5-O and the 5 y.o.

Outro

But alas, all good things must come to an end. Here’s hoping our next governor will be as willing to take a bullet, lift infinity pounds, and use a freeze ray on a plastic-chested George Clooney. And while Arnold probably won’t be returning to politics, we’ll be returning to the field for halftime. That’s right, we came up with an excuse to say it: I’LL BE BACK! You’ve been watching TOTOTTILSJUMB.
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