The Washington Redskins refuse to change their name. We're gonna do it for them.

Full Credits

Adam Lustic
D'Arcy Carden
Phil Jackson
Shelly Slocum
Ayla Slocum
Emiana Slocum
Matt Mazanay
Sean Dacanay
Director - Andy Bush
Writer - Travis Helwig
Producer - Jason Carden
DP - Aaron Ulrich
Grip - Matt Sweeney
Wardrobe - Tala Bakhtar
Hair/Make-up - Ashley Hooker
Sound - Kayla Croft for BoTown Sound
PA - Drew Foster
Editor - Kegan Swyers

Transcript


> IF YOU HAPPEN TO BE A
HUMAN IN THE YEAR 2014
YOU KNOW IT'S OUTRAGEOUS
FOR A TEAM TO CALL THEMSELVES
THE WASHINGTON REDSKINS.
WELL WE'VE GOT SOME GOOD NEWS,
AND SOME BAD NEWS.

> THE BAD NEWS IS THAT
DAN SNYDER,
WASHINGTON REDSKINS OWNER,
AND ALLEGED KKK MEMBER IS
REFUSING TO CHANGE THE NAME.

> THE GOOD NEWS
IS WE HAVE A SOLUTION.
WE'RE JUST GOING TO CALL
THEM SOMETHING ELSE.

> AND IT'S GOING TO BE
SOMETHING THEY'LL NEVER
WANT TO BE CALLED.

> IF ENOUGH OF US STOP
CALLING THEM THE REDSKINS, AND
START CALLING THEM BY OUR
TERRIBLE NAME, THEN WE CAN
HOLD THEM HOSTAGE UNTIL
THEY STOP BEING ASS HOLES.

> HERE AT FUNNY OR DIE WE
PUT OUR GREATEST MINDS
TOGETHER TO THINK OF CATCHY
YET TERRIBLE NAMES WE
COULD CALL THE TEAM.

> NAMES LIKE...

> WASHINGTON WATER BOARDS.

> THE WASHINGTON CANCERS.

> THE WASHINGTON INFIDELITIES.

> BUT IN THE END WE SETTLED
ON A NAME FUN FOR
EVERYONE TO SAY, BUT STILL
TERRIBLE ENOUGH THAT PROVEN
SLAVE OWNER DAN SNYDER WOULD
STILL WANT TO CHANGE IT.

> WE'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE
YOU TO WASHINGTON'S NEW
FOOTBALL TEAM.
THE WASHINGTON BONERCATS.
(sound of a something springing up)

> HERE ARE SOME EXAMPLES OF
HOW YOU CAN USE THE NAME.

> I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS.
RG III IS THE BEST
PLAYER WASHINGTON HAS.
BONERCAT NATION!

> AND I'M A BIG NEW YORK
GIANTS FAN BUT I THINK
THE BONERCATS ARE GOING TO
HAVE A TOUGH TEAM TO BEAT.

> UH, I'M SORRY BECKA, I CAN'T
GO OUT TONIGHT, MY
DAD'S BEING A DICK. HE GETS THIS
WAY ANYTIME THE BONERCATS LOSE.

> WE'VE BEEN WASHINGTON FANS
IN THIS FAMILY FOR YEARS.

> GO BONERCATS.

> SO IF YOU'RE A SPORTS WRITER
WRITING ABOUT THE
BIG GAME ON SUNDAY DON'T FORGET
TO CALL WASHINGTON BY
IT'S NEW NAME.

> AND IF YOU'RE JUST A
CASUAL FAN
MAKE SURE THAT ANYONE WHO
USES WASHINGTON'S OLD NAME
KNOWS THAT THEY ARE BEING
COMPLICIT IN THEIR RACISM
OF A STUBBORN BILLIONAIRE.

> TOGETHER WE CAN FORCE
DAN SNYDER, CAPTAIN OF
MULTIPLE LYNCH MOBS TO
CHANGE THE NAME OF
HIS FOOTBALL TEAM.

> PLUS WE'LL GET TO SAY
BONERCATS A WHOLE
BUNCH OF TIMES.
THAT'LL BE PRETTY FUN.

> SO FUN TO SAY--

> IT'S AWESOME.

> --BONERCATS!
(sound of a police siren)
(music plays)

> MEOW.
(grunting sounds)

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