This week, Bryan tried dumpster diving for the first time and then watched 'The... more »

Full Credits

Starring Erin Gibson & Bryan Safi
Written by Erin Gibson & Bryan Safi
Producer: Ross Buran
Camera Op: Cristina Dunlap
Editor: Ian Skalski
Camera Op: Matt Sweeney
Art: Tricia Robertson
Follow Erin & Bryan on Twitter
Erin:
http://www.twitter.com/gibblertron
Bryan:
http://www.twitter.com/bryansafi

Transcript


> (ERIN):
THIS IS...
(ERIN AND BRYAN TOGETHER):
THROWING SHADE.

> (BRYAN):
WHERE FEMINASTY ERIN GIBSON,

> (ERIN):
AND HOMOSENSUAL BRYAN SAFI,

> (BRYAN):
TAKE A LOOK AT THE HEADLINES AND POLITICS,

> (ERIN):
AND POP CULTURE,

> (BRYAN):
AND TREAT THEM WITH MUCH
LESS RESPECT THAN THEY DESERVE.
(ERIN): CAN YOU HANDLE IT?

> WELL THIS MORNING I THREW MY KEYS AWAY IN THE DUMPSTER, AND
I LITERALLY HAD TO PUT MY ENTIRE BODY IN THE DUMPSTER, AND GET
MY KEYS, AND GET OUT OF THE DUMPSTER.

> WAIT, A REAL DUMPSTER?

> A REAL DUMPSTER.

> NOT LIKE A TINY BABY DUMPSTER.

> LIKE A FULL BLOWN...I HAD EATEN A KIND BAR,
AND I WAS LIKE FUCK THIS, SO I LIFTED UP THE DUMPSTER, KEPT
THE KIND BAR WRAPPER, AND THREW MY KEYS IN THE DUMPSTER.

> NOW I HAVE A QUESTION, YOU JUST HAPPENED TO BE NEXT TO A
DUMPSTER EATING A KIND BAR?

> WHAT THE FUCK ELSE AM...IT'S MONDAY.
SO, I LITERALLY THREW MY KEYS AWAY, FOUND A CINDER BLOCK, THAT
I HAD TO STEP ON TO TO HOIST MYSELF INTO THE DUMPSTER, LIKE THIS,
HOLDING THE LID UP, GOT IN THE DUMPSTER, TOOK OUT THE KEYS,
GOT OUT OF THE DUMPSTER.

> HOW MUCH OTHER GARBAGE WAS IN THERE?

> YOU KNOW, NOT THAT MUCH, LIKE SOME FOR SURE.

> YEAH, BUT NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU TO RAISE UP, AND THERE'S A BANANA
PEEL ON YOUR HEAD, OR SPAGHETTI ON YOUR SHOULDERS.
DID YOU SHOWER AFTER THAT?

> NAW.

> YEAH, WHY?

> IT'S GOOD FOR THE IMMUNE SYSTEM. I'M A GROWING PERSON,
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. IT'S GOOD TO LIKE... .

> I DO BELIEVE THAT IT'S GOOD, LIKE GIVING BABIES PURELL AND
STUFF IS BAD TOO.

> EVERYONE HAS FUCKING MEASLES NOW, DO YOU KNOW THIS?

> WELL BECAUSE OF THE ANTI-VAXXERS.

> YEAH. LISTEN--

> COME INTO MY DISNEY LAND--

> YEAH.

> --SPREADING THEIR DISEASE.

> YOU KNOW WHAT DRIVES ME EXTRA CRAZY? THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE MEALS, MEASLES,
IT'S ALL LIKE RICH KIDS.

> YEAH.

> DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

> IT'S PEOPLE WHO ARE LIKE, I'M BETTER THAN THE SYSTEM.

> EXACTLY, AND I FEEL LIKE ALL THESE WOMEN, MOTHERS, ARE NOW RUNNING
AROUND AT GELSON'S BEING LIKE, "MY SON DIDN'T GET THE MEASLES--

> YOU THINK THEY'RE PROUD OF IT?

> --WE'RE VERY RICH." I THINK THEY MIGHT BE.

> I WATCH CATS.

> LIKE THE STAGE SHOW OR...?

> YES.

> OR THE CIRCUS?

> A MUSICAL RECORDING OF THE MUSICAL.

> THE ONE YOU BOUGHT FOR A PENNY.

> YES.

> DID YOU LOVE IT OR WERE YOU OBSESSED WITH IT?

> 10 MINUTES IN I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WAS HAPPENING.

> YEAH.

> 20 MINUTES IN
I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WAS HAPPENING.

> MOST POPULAR MUSICAL IN THE COUNTRY.

> I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THE FUCK THEY WERE SAYING.

> NOPE.

> I LOOKED UP THE LYRICS AND I DIDN'T KNOW.

> NO. I COULD DECIPHER MULHOLLAND DRIVE WAY BEFORE
I COULD EVER DECIPHER CATS.

> YOU NEED A FULL EGYPTIAN CIPHER TO UNDERSTAND WHAT'S HAPPENING IN THAT.

> I KNOW YOU HAD TO LITERALLY SMOKE POT. DID YOU WATCH THIS
STONE COLD SOBER?

> I ATE A POT COOKIE, AND IT DIDN'T KICK IN, AND I WAS LIKE,
WELL THIS IS A SHAME. NOT THAT IT WOULD.
AND I WAS WATCHING WITH MY FRIEND ALLISON, AND I WAS LIKE,
"ARE WE NOT GETTING SOMETHING?"

> I KNOW. PEOPLE WHO LOVE IT ARE THAT STUPID, THAT THEY DON'T
BELIVE THAT THERE SHOULD BE A PLOT.

> EXPLAIN TO ME HOW THIS ISN'T THE BIGGEST BRAIN FIT ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER
EVER FUCKING PLAYED ON AMERICA.

> TOTAL CON.

> WHAT OUT JOHNNY KNOXVILLE.

> YEAH.

> ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER IS ON THE SCENE AND HE'S MAKING CATS.

> ABSOLUTELY.

> YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING TO DRESS UP AS A BAD GRANDPA? MM-MMH.

> YEAH, EXACTLY--

> THAT'S THE BIGGEST PRANK.

> --THIS IS PUNKED SUPREME. WE'VE BEEN PUNKED FOR 3 DECADES.

> WHAT THE FUCK...WHERE DOES IT EVEN GO?

> I DON'T KNOW.

> WHAT HAPPENS AT THE END? DOES SHE GO TO HEAVEN?

> I DIDN'T WATCH IT. I HAD TO TAKE IT OUT OF MY DVD, AND I...

> YOU DIDN'T EVEN MAKE IT TO MEMORY?

> I HURLED IT OUT OF MY WINDOW.

> YOU DIDN'T EVEN MAKE IT TO MEMORY.

> NO. HERE'S WHY IT'S A FUCKING CON, IF YOU DON'T KNOW CATS
YOU THINK, OH THE SONG MEMORIES, WHICH IS A SONG YOU CAN UNDERSTAND
EVERY WORD TO, EVERY LYRIC TO, AND YOU'RE LIKE, SO CLEARLY THERE'S
A BEAUTIFUL SONG IN IT.

> THEY TOOK A SONG THAT MADE SENSE AND PUT IT--

> AND NOTHING ELSE MAKES SENSE.

> --AND PUT IT INTO A SCENARIO WHERE IT WAS OUT OF CONTEXT EVEN IN THE SHOW OF THE (inaudible).
IT MAKES ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE.

> I WOULD LIKE TO ARGUE WITH DARREN ARONOFSKY, AND HIS WHOLE
FILMIC THEORY THAT EVERYTHING HAS ORDER, AND THERE'S MATH IN EVERYTHING,
BECAUSE THAT SHOW PROVES HIM WRONG.

> ARE YOU WATCHING THE BACHELOR AT ALL?

> NO.

> OK.

> I CAN'T BECAUSE IT MAKES ME SICK.

> YEAH.

> ALL THOSE WOMEN, THE DUMBEST WOMEN...

> THEY DO IT TO THE MEN TOO.

> I DON'T KNOW ANYONE WHO HAS EVER HAD A WAITRESSING JOB
OR A RETAIL JOB CAN WATCH THE BACHELOR, BECAUSE--

> WELL THEY'RE ALL ON IT BY THE WAY. THOSE ARE EXACTLY THE PEOPLE WHO ARE ON IT.

> --EVERYONE THAT YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH, WHEN YOU'RE DEALING WITH
THE AMERICA PUBLIC ARE ON THOSE SHOWS.

> YES.

> WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH THE FARMER?

> HE STILL HAS NO UPPER LIP, AND HE'S STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT
WHETHER HE LIKES THE GIRL WHO WAS TRYING TO PUT ON THE WHOLE
KARDASHIAN LOOK FOR LAST WEEK, AND THE OTHER GIRL--

> WAS SHE DOING IT JUST FOR HIM, SHE WAS DOING (inaudible)?

> THERE WAS A POOL PARTY, AND SO AT THE ROSE CEREMONY SHE GOES,
WELL I WAS GOING TO DO MY WHOLE KARDASHIAN LOOK--

> SHE SAID THAT?

> YEAH.

> SHE'S ALSO A VIRGIN.

> SHE'S LIKE, "THAT'S MY ANGLE. I'M GOING TO SAY I'M A VIRGIN."

> GOT TO HAVE A GIMMICK, IF YOU'RE ON THE BACHELOR--

> PROVE THAT I'M NOT A VIRGIN.

> EXACTLY.

> YOU CAN'T.

> BUT THAT'S ALL THAT'S HAPPENING, SO YOU CAN UNDERSTAND
WHY IT'S 2 HOURS A NIGHT.

> AT WHAT POINT DOES EVERYONE STOP CARING?

> I THINK IT'S ABOUT TO. ALTHOUGH, THE REASON THAT THE
BACHELOR STILL WORKS IS BECAUSE THERE IS STILL A SINCERITY THERE
THAT'S FUN TO WATCH.

> WHAT? BY WHO? NO ONE ON THAT SHOW IS SINCERE.

> I THINK SOME OF THOSE WOMEN ARE LIKE, MAYBE I'LL WILL FIND THE LOVE OF MY LIFE.

> MAYBE ONE DAY I'LL GET CAST IN A REALITY SHOW.

> AND I THINK THIS GUY CHRIS PROBABLY ACTUALLY DOES WANT A WIFE
THAT HE CAN PICK UP TO HOLLYWOOD AND TAKE BACK TO IOWA,
LIKE I ACTUALLY THINK THAT'S--

> WHAT IS THAT GIRL GOING TO DO ON A FUCKING FARM?

> IN COLD BLOOD.

> THEY'RE GOING TO GET MURDERED WITH SHOT GUNS?

> WHEN I WAS YOUNGER, MY SISTER AND I USED TO PRANK CALL,
LIKE EVERYONE, DIDN'T YOU USED TO PRANK CALL PEOPLE ALL THE TIME?

> YEAH.

> SO WE USED TO PRANK CALL THIS WOMEN, AND WE USED TO SAY TO HER,
SHE'D PICK UP THE PHONE, AND SHE WOULD GO "HELLO,", AND
WE WOULD SAY, "JIM-ANANNIE HAS A FANNY AND SOME PANTIES THAT ARE UGLY."
AND WE WOULD SAY THAT, BECAUSE OF HER VOICEMAIL. HER ANSWERING MACHINE
WOULD SAY, "HI, YOU HAVE REACHED JIM AND ANN. LEAVE A MESSAGE.",
AND WE DIDN'T REALIZE TO LIKE TWO YEARS LATER--

> THAT, THAT WAS JIM AND ANN?
AND NOT JIM-ANANNIE?

> WE THOUGHT HER NAME WAS JIMANAN.

> IN 8TH GRADE I RE-WROTE ALL THE LYRICS TO NUMB SO THAT IT WAS
SPECIFIC TO OUR FAMILY, AND THAT WAS OUR OUTGOING MESSAGE.

> WHAT WAS NUMB? WAS THAT U2?

> IT WAS A U2 RAP.

> YEAH, OK, I WAS RIGHT.
NONE OF THAT HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS.

> PROUDEST THING I EVER DONE IN MY LIFE.

> DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT MY CONNECTION TO THE JIM AND ANN STORY
AND THIS STORY IS? THAT IT TAKES PLACE IN ALABAMA, AND I THOUGHT IT
SOUNDED LIKE THAT.

> OH, ALABAMA, MACON?

> NO.

> NO, THAT'S GEORGIA, SORRY.

> BIG FIGHT RIGHT NOW IN ALABAMA BECAUSE LATE LAST WEEK THE CONSTITUTIONAL
BAN IN ALABAMA ON SAME SEX WAS OVERTURNED.
BASICALLY SAYING YES YOU CAN GET GAY MARRIED HERE, NO PROBLEM AT ALL, IN ALABMA,
WHICH IS OUT OF CONTROL AND INSANE.
SO PEOPLE ARE OBVIOUSLY FREAKING OUT, BUT STATE OFFICIALS THERE
ARE REFUSING THE ORDER TO ISSUE LICENSES, AND ARE SAYING THEY DON'T HAVE TO.

> SO IT'S KIND OF LIKE THE THING THAT FLORIDA WAS DOING WHERE THEY
WERE LIKE, "YOU CAN SAY WE HAVE TO DO IT, BUT OUR OFFICES ARE ALL SHUT DOWN."

> AND THESE ANTI-GAY POLITICIANS ARE NOW SAYING THAT THEY MIGHT NOT
ISSUE ANY MARRIAGE LICENSES IF THE SUPREME COURT RULES IN
FAVOR, IF THE SUPREME COURT DECISION RULES IN THE FAVOR OF EQUALITY.
SO STRAIGHT PEOPLE CAN'T EVEN GET MARRIED.
THEY'RE JUST LIKE MARRIAGE IS SHUT DOWN.

> THAT IS CLASSIC SOUTHERN PARENTING.

> SO CLASSIC. THIS COMES ON THE HEALS WHERE THE STATE OF THE UNION,
WHERE OBAMA, FIRST TIME EVER, PUBLICLY ENDORSED GAY MARRIAGE--

> HE DOESN'T GIVE A FUCK ANYMORE.

> --AND SAYS THAT IT'S AMERICA AT THIS BEST WHICH IS SAYING...
THE ONLY OTHER PRESIDENT TO TALK ABOUT GAY MARRIAGE IN THE STATE
OF THE UNION ADDRESS WAS GEORGE W. BUSH WHEN HE TALKED ABOUT
A CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT TO BAN IT. THAT WAS THE ONLY 2 TIMES
THAT GAY MARRIAGE AT A STATE OF THE UNION HAS BEEN ADDRESSED.
SO THE ATTORNEY GENERAL THERE, HIS NAME IS LUTHER STRANGE,
GREAT, HAS ASKED FOR AN INDEFINITE STAY ON THIS
SO THAT PEOPLE CAN'T GET MARRIED RIGHT NOW, AND OTHER JUDGES,
LIKE I SAID BEFORE HAD JUST SAID TO JUST DISREGARD THE RULING.

> WAY TO GO ALABAMA.

> IN ALABAMA. CUT TO MY MIKE HUCKABEE LAST WEEK WHO SAID
THAT IF THE SUPREME COURT RULES IN FAVOR OF EQUALITY--

> THAT'S AN INSANE SENTENCE.

> HE DIDN'T SAY THAT, HE DIDN'T SAY THAT, BY THE WAY, HE SAID,
THAT IF THE SUPREME COURT RULES IN FAVOR OF GAY MARRIAGE THAT
STATES DON'T HAVE TO OBEY THE DECISION AND COULD REFUSE TO
PROVIDE LICENSES. NOT TRUE AT ALL.

> THAT'S NOT HOW THE GOVERNMENT WORKS.

> ARTICLE 6 OF THE U.S. CONSTITUTION SAYS THAT ANY
FEDERAL LAW, ANY LAW OF THE U.S. IS SUPREME LAW OF THE LAND. THAT'S IT.

> YEAH, THAT'S WHY WE FOUGHT THE CIVIL WAR IS THAT CORRECT?

> UMM...OH BOY.

> REVOLUTIONARY?

> YEAH.

> I MEAN IT'S JUST THE LAW...THE UNITED STATES LAW IS THE LAW OF THE LAND.

> WHAT WAS THE WAR WHERE THE STATES FOUGHT THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT.
THAT'S NOT A THING THAT HAPPENED? WHY DO I KNOW THE CONTIGUOUS
STATES OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

> THE ONLY WARS THAT HAVE EVER BEEN FOUGHT HERE...

> REVOLUTIONARY...

> AND CIVIL, WHICH WAS NOT CIVIL.

> YEAH.

> I DON'T THINK THERE
WAS A WAR AGAINST THE GOVERNMENT. THIS ISN'T THE HUNGER GAMES.

> WASN'T THERE A STATES RIGHTS AGAINST THE VERSUS FEDERAL RIGHTS?

> MAYBE.

> MAYBE IT WAS A TINY, JUST A SLAP WAR.

> YEAH, IT MIGHT'VE BEEN.

> BY THE WAY, WHAT IS THE SLAP?
YOU SEEN THESE POSTERS FOR THIS THING?

> YEAH IT'S ZACHARY QUINTO'S HIT A BABY, AND THEY'RE TRYING TO
FIGURE OUT IF THEY CAN DO 20 EPISODES OF THAT.

> OK.

> THAT'S WHAT IT'S ABOUT.

> ACCORDING TO THE HUFFINGTON POST THIS IS THE EXACT
SAME ARGUMENT THAT ANOTHER ARKANSAS GOVERNOR USED
IN 1957 WHEN HE DIDN'T WANT TO INTEGRATE SCHOOLS.

> OH COOL.

> YEAH.

> THAT GOVERNOR'S NAME WAS ORVAL--

> REDENBACHER?

> NO.
THE ONLY OTHER ORVAL WAS NOT A GOOD ORVAL.
ORVAL FAUBUS--
(ERIN LAUGHS)
(BRYAN): I KNOW. WHAT'S SO CRAZY ABOUT THIS IS NONE OF THIS
STUFF WILL ACTUALLY BE ALLOWED TO HAPPEN. IT'S JUST SCARE TACTICS,
AND IT'S SUCH A SHITTY, HORRIBLE THING TO DO.

> WHAT IS IT ABOUT THE SOUTH?

> THE SOUTH IS VERY HOT.

> YES, AND WET.

> DID YOU EVER SEE THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS COMMERCIAL WITH THE--

> YEAH WITH THE EGGS.

> --FRYING EGGS. SO IMAGINE THAT IN YOUR HEAD EVERY DAY. THEY DON'T
EVEN NEED TO DO DRUGS.

> THEY CAN'T THINK STRAIGHT.

> NO.

> THEY'RE SO ANGRY THAT THEY'RE SWEATING THROUGH THEIR SUITS?

> I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS ALL COMES FROM.
I WISH I COULD END THIS ON A POSITIVE.
I COULD PROBABLY CALL HIM A JIM-ANANNIE.

> OH YEAH, GO AHEAD.

> OH, RING, RING, ARE YOU GOING TO ANSWER?

> OH, HELLO THIS JIM AND NANCY, WAIT WHAT'S HER NAME?

> FORGET IT.

> UM, I WOULD LIKE TO TALK ABOUT THE PAIN-CAPABLE UNBORN CHILD PROTECTION ACT.
WHOA, IT'S TOO MANY WORDS.
GET IT TOGETHER REPUBLICANS.

> THAT'S A LOT.

> SO IT'S NOT ENOUGH THAT IN LAST YEAR ALONE STATES HAVE PASSED
REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS RESTRICTIONS WHICH IS MORE THAN
ALL THE 2000S, OKAY. SO CONGRESS IS ROLLING UP IT'S SLEEVES, AND
GETTING WORK DONE NOW THEY HAVE A MAJORITY, AND THEY'RE STARTING
THIS WRONG HEADED FIGHT TO ROLL BACK EVERYTHING ROE VERSUS WADE DID.
ONE OF THESE EFFORTS, AS I MENTIONED EARLIER IS THE
PAIN-CAPABLE UNBORN CHILD PROTECTION ACT.
NOW I THINK THEY MAKE THEM SO LONG THAT YOU HAVE TO REALLY
EMPHASIS WHEN YOU SAY EVERY WORD.

> I DON'T EVEN UNDER...THE PAIN-CAPABLE?

> IT IS BASICALLY THE IDEA THAT AT 20 WEEKS A FETUS CAN FEEL PAIN,
AND SO THEY DON'T WANT ANY ABORTIONS TO HAPPEN AFTER 20 WEEKS.
SO THIS ACT WHICH WOULD BAN ALL ABORTIONS AT 20 WEEKS, INCLUDING
INCEST, INCLUDING RAPE, UNLESS IF YOU GOT RAPED, AND THEN YOU WENT TO
THE POLICE AND REPORTED IT THEN YOU WOULD BE GIVEN AN EXCEPTION
BY THE STATE TO HAVE YOUR ABORTION.

> OH, WELL THAT SOUNDS EASY.

> YEAH, SUPER EASY. SPONSORED BY HUMAN CHUIWAWA TRENT LOTT.

> AT LEAST IT HAS A SPONSOR.

> YEAH.

> ISN'T THAT FUNNY THOUGH, TRENT REZNOR IS NOT TRENT LOTT?

> THAT'S SO FUNNY. I'D LIKE TO SEE THOSE TWO GUYS DO A COMEDY SHOW.

> ME TOO. THAT WOULD BE SO FUNNY.

> THAT WOULD BE SO FUNNY. THEY KIND OF, MAYBE, LOOK THE SAME NOW.

> (BRYAN): I FEEL A LITTLE BIT LIKE THEY DO, AND THAT IS ULTIMATELY--

> (ERIN): TRENT LOTT IN A BLACK T?

> (BRYAN): YEAH.

> IT MIGHT BE A LITTLE TRENT REZNORY.

> TRENT LOTT ALSO SOUNDS LIKE AIR AUSTIN POWERS.

> AUSTIN POWERS.

> YEAH THAT'S IT.

> YEAH.
SO THIS ACT WAS...THEY PULLED IT FROM VOTING BECAUSE RENEE ELLMERS
WHO IS A GOP REPRESENTATIVE, PROBABLY FROM THE GLUE LEGACY, I DON'T KNOW.

> OH, THAT'S RIGHT, YEAH.

> YOU MIGHT REMEMBER HER, I TALKED ABOUT HER LAST YEAR.

> SHE DOES SOUND FAMILIAR.

> SO RENEE MADE ENEMIES LAST WEEK WHEN SHE RAISED SOME CONCERNS
OVER THE LANGUAGE OF THE, LET'S CALL IT THE PA-CUPPA--

> OH, SURE.

> --JUST TO SHORTEN IT.
ALSO THE LANGUAGE ABOUT WOMEN WHO ARE BEING ENDANGERED BY THE
FACT THAT THEY'RE ACTUALLY PREGNANT THEY CAN'T GET LATE
TERM ABORTIONS EVEN THOUGH IT WOULD SAVE THEIR LIFE.
THEY HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL IT'S VERY, VERY COMPLICATED--

> WHAT WORLD IS THIS?

> --AND IF YOU'RE A VICTIM OF INCEST GOOD LUCK TO YOU.
SO SHE WAS LIKE, "GUYS, LET'S JUST TAKE A SECOND, MAN."
BY THE WAY RENEE ELLMERS IS A TEA PARTY CANDIDATE, AND THEY'RE ATTACKING HER.

> YEAH. THEY THINK SHE'S LIKE PATTY SMITH.

> FOR BEING A TINY BIT LOGICAL. EXACTLY.
EDITOR AND CHIEF AT REDSTATE WHICH I DON'T GIVE A FUCK,
EAT MY BUTT, I DON'T CARE, ERICK ERICKSON, A MAN SO FUN THEY
NAMED HIM TWICE.

> YEAH.

> HE FAMOUSLY CALLED WENDY DAVIS AN ABORTION BARBIE.

> THAT'S GOOD.

> SO FUNNY, BARBIE CAN'T HAVE AN ABORTION BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T
HAVE A VAGINA--

> THAT'S FUNNY.

> --I'VE CHECKED.
ERICK ERICKSON WENT BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD WITH HIS WHOLE
ABORTION BARBIE NICKNAME AND FOUND ONE JUST AS GOOD FOR
RENEE ELLMERS, AND IT'S THIS. THE GOP ABORTION BARBIE.

> ARE YOU KIDDING?

> THAT GUY KNOWS HOW TO SPEND TIME ON SOMETHING.

> HE'S QUICK.

> I CANNOT BELIEVE...

> HOW IS HE NOT IN ADVERTISING?

> OF HIS OWN PARTY. HE IS CLASSIC DONNER PASS. HE IS DONNER PASS.

> WHAT IS DONNER PASS?

> DONNER PASS WAS A HORRIBLE FAIRY TALE ABOUT, IT'S ACTUALLY
HAPPENED IN REAL LIFE, PEOPLE TRYING TO CROSS TO THE WEST--

> JEFFERY DAHMER...OH I KNOW THIS.

> --AND THEN THEY CANNIBALIZED EACH OTHER. TURNED ON EACH OTHER LIKE THIS.
HE IS DONNER--

> ISN'T THAT WHAT OREGON TRAIL'S ABOUT?

> YES.

> YEAH.
WHAT'S SO FUCKED UP IS THAT SHE'S A, THAT SHE'S GETTING ATTACKED AT ALL
FOR DOING SOMETHING THAT AS FAR AS HER VOTING RECORD IS CONCERNED
IS SO LOGICAL. SHE IS A HARD CORE PRO-LIFER.

> RIGHT.

> SHE HAS DONE EVERYTHING IN HER POWER TO BE LIKE, "NOT REALLY INTO
WOMEN...NOT REALLY INTO WOMEN'S REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS...."
SO THE FACT THAT SHE SPOKE OUT, BECAUSE IT'S PART OF HER JOB ON
THIS REPUBLICAN WOMEN'S POLICY COMMITTEE, IS TO SAY TO THEM,
"GUYS, LETS THINK ABOUT HOW YOU'RE SAYING THIS, AND LETS
TALK ABOUT IT SO THAT WE DON'T HAVE PROBLEM LIKE WE DID 4 YEARS
AGO OR 3 YEARS AGO DURING ELECTION WHEN WE FUCKED EVERYTHING UP BY BEING--

> OH THEY WILL AGAIN.
THEY CAN'T COUNT ON WOMEN, THEY CAN'T COUNT ON GAY PEOPLE,
THEY CAN'T COUNT ON ANY MINORITY...IT'S JUST IMPOSSIBLE FOR THEM TO WIN.

> THEY'RE JUST HANGING THEMSELVES.

> I DO FEEL BAD FOR RENEE ELLMERS. I KIND OF FEEL LIKE
THIS IS IN THE MOMENT OF MOVIES, THIS WILL BE HER MOMENT WHERE SHE
REALIZES THAT HER WHOLE LIFE HAS BEEN A FRAUD, AND SHE'S COMMITTED
HERSELF TO MONSTERS.

> YEAH EXCEPT THAT SHE'S DONE EVERYTHING WRONG EXCEPT THIS ONE TINY LITTLE THING.

> YEAH AND SHE GOT VILLAINIZED...SHE'S GOING TO LOSE HER SEAT.
I NEVER QUITE UNDERSTAND WHY REPUBLICAN MEN AND CONSERVATIVES,
SPEND SO MUCH TIME ON ANTI-ABORTION POLICY WHEN THEY'RE
MILLION KIDS LIVING IN POVERTY IN THE UNITED STATES.
SO UNTIL THERE ARE ZERO CHILDREN LIVING IN POVERTY I DON'T
BUY THEIR RHETORIC, THAT THEY CARE ABOUT CHILDREN.
SORRY, YOU'RE A FUCKING LIAR. THIS ANTI-ABORTION FITS SO
PERFECTLY IN REPUBLICAN PLATFORMS BECAUSE IT'S SOMETHING THAT
MAKES THEM LOOK MORALLY SUPERIOR, AND IN A WAY IT SAVES PEOPLE
MONEY. THEY DON'T HAVE TO RAISE TAXES FOR IT, BECAUSE
IT'S ALL RESTRICTIONS. IT'S A PERFECT PLATFORM FOR THEM.
SO THAT'S WHY THEY HARP ON IT. NOT BECAUSE THEY GIVE TWO FUCKING SHITS.

> WELL, I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW IT'S REALLY, REALLY SO HORRIBLE,
AND I HOPE THAT THIS DOESN'T LAST FOR TOO MUCH LONGER.

> I HAVE A PREDICTION, WHEN THE REPUBLICANS ARE ON THEIR WAY
OUT, YOU'LL SEE REALITY SHOWS ALSO. I FEEL LIKE THEY'RE CONNECTED.

> HOW?

> BECAUSE IT'S ALL DUMB-DUMB SHIT.
I'LL SAY THE SAME THING TO REALITY SHOWS THAT I WOULD
TO REPUBLICANS, GOOD JOB AT BEING IDIOTS, DUMMIES.

> OH, YEAH, YOU WILL HAVE THE LAST LAUGH ERIN WITH THAT LINE.

> AND I WON'T SAY IT RIGHT.

> YOU WILL HAVE THE LAST LAUGH.

> TRY AND DECIPHER IT, BECAUSE I SAID IT ALL WRONG IN THAT SENTENCE.

> THAT WILL BE THE HEADLINE IN VARIETY AND THE ECONOMIST.

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