Susie and Clifford give makeovers to an ugly, boring Christian church in this... more »

Transcript

Hi. I'm Susie.
And I'm Clifford.
And you're watching TLC's "What Not To Church"
Where we take humdrum churches and turn them into Los Angeles worship hubs for the hip and trendy.
Today we are facing our biggest challenge yet.
A church in the center of Hollywood called Parkview Christian Church.
Let's go surprise the pastor.
SURPRISE!
What's going on?
Your church has been nominated for a makeover.
Pastor Matthew, you're on TLC's "What Not To Church"
*horrified noises*
So, what do you think this footage shows about your church?
It shows we're a community with a focus on God and family.
Oh, I believe that you believe that.
I see a bunch of old, boring people still singing worship songs from the 90's.
I mean, it's like you guys have totally given up.
Would you even go to a grocery store that looked like this?
No, this is like a Kroger and we want to make you a Whole Foods.
So, we're giving you a choice.
You can either take this credit card for $10,000 to revamp your look, or...
you can say no and continue to lose all relevance to the whole Christian community.
Nice offer, but I don't think that I'll be able to-
Guess we'll take the card.
Yes you can! Alright! Good choice!
Come with us!
Let's do it!
This way. Let's go!
Hurray!
A modern church should have a modern name.
Something that sounds like an expensive face mask, like Rejuvenate or Synergy.
Yeah, you want to try to attract trendy twenty-somethings who work in the film industry and have their own YouTube channel.
So, we changed your boring old "Parkview" into...
"The Orchard"
I don't know what to say.
I know! It's so on fleek.
Super fleek! Super fleek! It's super fleeky! Yeah!
We sent your worship leader to an immersive worship camp at Coachella.
Everyone should either want to be or date your worship leader.
*Singing* Water, water, oooh.
Water, water, water, water, water, water, yeah.
Isn't this a little superficial?
Well, as hipster megachurches take over LA, your little church is gunna disappear.
We're making God relevant again.
But, God's always relevant.
We gave Pastor Matthew a makeover.
Come on out, Pastor Matthew!
How do you feel?
Oh, you know, I was pushing against you guys this whole process, but now, I look like the kind of pastor who could quote "Breaking Bad" in his sermons. I could write a Christian bestseller called "Cravings." And you know what? That kind of church attracts the young people. And that's what's missing from this world.
We're so proud!
And that's what we do here on TLC's "What Not To Church."
We're changing the world!
Join us next time when we visit Glendale Presbyterian to turn it into "Refresh," a youthful faith hub sponsored by GT's Kombucha.
*Singing* Breathe. Breathe air. Breathe air, breathe air.
It's breathable. So breathable! So breathe! Air.
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