Troubadour, Wenches

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Lyrics:

I'm a troubadour wenches
Hear me strum my lyre
Sing to Eleanor of Aquitaine
And set her loins on fire

I sport the finest pantyhose
In the whole of Provence
And I'm always getting "LAI"-d
By Marie de France

Dropping mad francs in Normandy
And shillings up in Kent
Wooing wenches on the Sabbath
Wooing wenches during lent

I may be purgatory-bound
But I don't give a damn
Cause wenches take it from me
Confessors just don't understand

Chorus:

Set some ladies' loins on fire
All the babies you will sire
Ale and weches, Provenc[S]ALLIN
Ev'ry troubadour is ballin

All you noble clowns can intrigue
You crusaders go and fight
I got more bling than a king
And more fair ladies than a knight

Got me a bawd in every country
And connections up in Spain
Where the wealthy Arab tribal lords
Are makin it rain

Maybe one day I will settle
Wed a wench and take her home
With a dowry as large
As my enormous coxcomb

But now I'm buying indulgences
And I'm bedding all the wenches
And I read them dirty Ovid poems
On lacquered royal benches

Chorus:

Set some ladies' loins on fire
All the babies you will sire
Ale and weches, Provenc[S]ALLIN
Ev'ry troubadour is ballin

Once at Eventide
I got crossed
By a cuckolded lord
He called me vile
I said "What, hoe!"
And cut him up with his own sword

Then I went home to his wife
And whipped it out (my dragon tail)
And she was into kinky shit
So I put on some chain mail

Juggle so many wenches, dont know
Whence came this syphilis?
Though the prime suspect's a
Lusty Florentine shepherdess

You got disdain for troubadours?
You think your own class is bosser?
I say: sucka,
You speak seven tongues?
You influence Chaucer?

Now fool bounce out of this court
Like you Martina Hingis
Or I will sing you to the ground
In French-inflected Middle English

Chorus (x2):

Set some ladies' loins on fire
All the babies you will sire
Ale and weches, Provenc[S]ALLIN
Ev'ry troubadour is ballin

Wenches wanna know
Wenches wanna know

Just joust with me
Just joust with me
Joust with me

Drop it like its plague
Drop it like it's plague

Guilluame is in the house, yo!