The video opens with a montage of shots of celebrities, including
Justin Long, Carmen Electra, Queen Latifah, Nicole Ritchie, Joel
Madden, and DJ Timbo having fun at a pool party hosted by Zac Efron.
The shot settles on Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens, Lance Bass and two
Lance Bass: Guys, I have to tell you, I have not Googled myself in over a week.
Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens and the other party-goers cheer this announcement.
Zac Efron: Wow, man! Seriously, congratulations.
Lance Bass: its small things, baby steps.
Vanessa Hudgens: I'm so proud of you.
Zac Efron: You've come a long way.
Lance Bass: Thank you.
Efron: Hey, so, I have to warn you. My Uncle Hank might be stopping by
with his girlfriend. Sometimes they can be a little bit...
Thomas Lennon (voiceover): Zac!
Thomas Lennon jumps into view wearing cheap reflective sunglasses and a sleeveless t-shirt.
Thomas Lennon: Whew! Zac-a-roni and cheese.
other guests at the party look highly uncomfortable as the shot shifts
to Thomas Lennon hoisting Zac Efron into the air by his waist and
shaking him. A very pregnant Nicole Sullivan stands next him, dressed
in tights, a belly shirt and wearing a straw cowboy hat. She looks on
approvingly at Thomas Lennon?s behavior.
Thomas Lennon: You remember my old lady?
Zac Efron: Oh yeah, Randi, Randi with an i.
Nicole Sullivan: Yes, yes, yes.
Nicole Sullivan hugs Zac Efron, grabs his ass and gives it a slap.
Nicole Sullivan: That's right!
The shot cuts to Vanessa Hudgens pulling down her sunglasses and shooting Nicole Sullivan a hateful look.
Thomas Lennon: Who's your friend?
The shot cuts to blonde party-goer in a bikini who waves nervously at Thomas Lennon.
The shot cuts back to Thomas Lennon and Nicole Sullivan.
Thomas Lennon: And who are her friends?
The party-goer looks down at her own chest and covers her breasts quickly with a disgusted look on her face.
Thomas Lennon: He meant her boobs. He meant her boobs.
The shot cuts to Zac Efron looking very embarrassed. Nicole Sullivan says something inaudible to which Thomas Lennon responds.
Thomas Lennon: I'm allowed to look. (Thomas Lennon points off-screen) Hey, I know you! Lance Armstrong.
Lennon gives a thumbs up and the shot cuts to Lance Bass who does not
look entertained. The shot cuts back to Zac Efron, Thomas Lennon and
Zac Efron: Just, just be cool.
Nicole Sullivan: Ok, I need a drink. Get me to the bar. Baby's thirsty! (She pats her stomach.)
Thomas Lennon: (snickers) Not mine.
Zac Efron laughs uncomfortably.
Thomas Lennon: I'm serious, it's not mine.
Efron appears to try to shake off the intrusion and walks in the
opposite direction as Nicole Sullivan and Thomas Lennon. The shot cuts
briefly to Nicole Ritchie and Joel Madden playing with a beach ball.
The shot then cuts to Brittany Snow talking politics with anothe
Brittany Snow: You sound like a Libertarian.
Abby Pivaronas: Oh, you want to talk about Ron Paul. We talk about Ron Paul.
Brittany Snow: Yes, I would love to talk about Ron Paul
Nicole Sullivan approaches the Brittany Snow and the other party-goer.
Nicole Sullivan: Alright ladies, let's bring it down a notch. Who wants to play bruise, rash, or birthmark?
Nicole Sullivan then knocks back a shot of liquor. The scene cuts to Brody Jenner talking with several female party-goers.
Brody Jenner: But is Paul Krugman a true Keynesian economist?
Thomas Lennon pops out from behind one of the female party-goers.
Lennon: Whoa, whoa, whoa, (whistles) pull the brake. Wow. Way to kill
the party vibe doctor, doctor nerd. (laughs and points at Brody Jenner)
Is this guy like doctor nerd or what?
Brody Jenner: We're talking about serious issues here.
Thomas Lennon: (points at Brody Jenner) I'm not with him.
The shot cuts to Thomas Lennon jumping out from around a corner and trying to engage Carmen Electra in conversation.
Thomas Lennon: Hey! Hi. Carmen Electra, right?
Carmen Electra: Yeah.
Thomas Lennon leans in toward Carmen Electra and she moves back.
shot cuts to Zac Efron looking a little panicked and picking up empty
plastic cups. The shot cuts back to Thomas Lennon and Carmen Electra.
Thomas Lennon: If I had a nickel for every time you gave me a boner, I would have four hundred dollars.
Carmen Electra looks disgusted and says nothing.
Thomas Lennon: Oops, (looks down toward his crotch) and five cents.
shot cuts to Zac Efron shaking his head and looking angry. The shot
then cuts to Thomas Lennon standing next to Queen Latifah and talking
into a microphone.
Thomas Lennon: A very special person is here
today, but I don't want you to treat me like anybody else, just because
I was the guitar tech for the Spin Doctors.
There is a lone cheer from one of the party-goers.
Thomas Lennon: Thank you.
Zac Efron is shown standing in the pool, looking like he would like to die.
Queen Latifah: Can someone please get this scabies medication salesman out of here.
Thomas Lennon: Oh, sorry, not my fault. Something I do for a friend.
The shot cuts to Zac Efron sitting next to Nicole Sullivan.
Zac Efron: I'm sorry. These are the biggest Band-Aid's I have.
Nicole Sullivan: Do you want to help me put them on?
Zac Efron: Absolutely not.
Nicole Sullivan: No, just. I'll let you rip them off later.
Zac Efron stands up and walks away.
The shot cuts to Justin Long, underwater in the pool, drinking a beer. He smiles at the camera and give s thumbs up.
The shot cuts to Nicole Ritchie and Joel Madden sitting together having a private moment.
Joel Madden: You know honey, I know we've been talking about marriage for a long time now.
Nicole Richie: Yeah?
Joel Madden: And, I think, on a beautiful day like this would be as good a time as any.
Thomas Lennon jumps out from underneath a curtain.
Thomas Lennon: Hey, can I pitch you guys a money making idea.
The shot cuts to Nicole Sullivan talking with another party-goer.
Jessica Stroup: Ok, so that was your step-dad or your boyfriend?
Nicole Sullivan: It?s all the same in the back of a dark van my friend.
The shot cuts back to Thomas Lennon, Joel Madden and Nicole Ritchie.
Thomas Lennon: Scratch and sniff tattoos.
Thomas Lennon scratches Joel Madden's arm and sniffs it.
Joel Madden: Don't smell me, please.
Thomas Lennon: Are you going to be a dick or what?
The shot cuts to Nicole Sullivan talking with Vanessa Hudgens.
Vanessa Hudgens: How do you get your eye makeup to look like that?
Sullivan: Oh, you put on Wet and Wild, Black Midnight, real thick, pass
out in your own vomit and the next morning, ta-da.
The shot cuts
back to Thomas Lennon talking to Joel Madden and Nicole Ritchie. Joel
Madden and Nicole Ritchie are leaving and Thomas Lennon continues
Thomas Lennon: Do you want to hear a movie idea?
Joel Madden: No.
Thomas Lennon: About a bear that goes into space, called Space Bear.
The shot cuts back to Nicole Sullivan talking to Vanessa Hudgens and Chelsea Staub.
Chelsea Staub: You did black market Japanese game shows.
Nicole Sullivan: Mmmm-hmmmm.
Chelsea Staub: What is that?
Nicole Sullivan laughs and then whispers into Chelsea Staub's ear.
Chelsea Staub: Ew.
Sullivan: No, that's all right. They?re blindfolded, so they think it's
someone else. (she waves her glass) I'll take another one of Oh crap!
shot cuts away to reveal that they are sitting at the edge of the pool
and water is falling into the pool beneath where Nicole Sullivan is
Nicole Sullivan: Oh, it's just a waterfall. I thought I was pissing myself again.
Chelsea Staub and Vanessa Hudgens immediately stand up and leave.
The shot cuts to Thomas Lennon talking to Zac Efron while they sit in a hot tub.
Thomas Lennon: Three words. Adults only water-park.
Zac Efron: It's an awful idea.
The shot cuts to Nicole Sullivan talking to Jessica Rose.
Nicole Sullivan: Lonelygirl, I can't believe you're here. How did you get away from that cult?
Jessica Rose: You have Internet where you live?
Nicole Sullivan: Only if I climb on top of my roof and steal it from my cousin.
view cuts to an aerial shot of the pool that shows the crowd around the
pool clearing as Nicole Sullivan and Thomas Lennon speak.
Nicole Sullivan: Can I get another tequila and Snapple
Thomas Lennon: Thanks for killing my boner.
Nicole Sullivan: What's the grossest thing you've ever done for money?
Thomas Lennon: Zefron - three million, that?s all I?m asking.
The shot cuts to Thomas Lennon and Nicole Sullivan.
Thomas Lennon: You shut your mouth Brent Ratner. Shut your mouth. You're lucky there's a wall.
Nicole Sullivan: (shouting) What did the judge say about your temper?
Thomas Lennon: Zac.
The shot cuts to Zac Efron looking furious.
Thomas Lennon: Killer party man, amazing.
Zac Efron: Yeah, whatever, you guys can't drive you know.
Thomas Lennon and Nicole Sullivan laugh.
Thomas Lennon: Like I got a driver's license. Bus pass. Oooh, ouch.
Zac Efron: You know what, Uncle Hank. I am pissed.
Sullivan: All right, bring it, bring it, bring it. I just want to let
you know that (whispers in Zac Efron's ear) that offer to help me with
my Band-Aids is still open ... so are my sores.
Zac, look, I'm sorry. I get nervous around all your fancy friends. I'm
sorry if I embarrassed myself. I'm just so proud of you.
Thomas Lennon begins to tear up.
Thomas Lennon: I love you so much.
Thomas Lennon hugs Zac Efron.
Thomas Lennon: I'm so proud of you. (begins weeping) I love you so much.
Zac Efron: I love you too.
Thomas Lennon: I'm just drunk, I'm sorry.
Nicole Sullivan: Wrap it up here, Hallmark. I need smokes.
Thomas Lennon: Oh, you smell like a waffle. I love you. Oh, hey, sorry about the hot tub.
Zac Efron: What?
Shot cuts to Vanessa Hudgens.
Vanessa Hudgens: Babe! Your Uncle Hank took another poop in the hot tub!
shot cuts to Justin Long, underwater in the hot tub. He picks ups the
poop, looks at it, and then goes to begin eating it. The shot cuts to
Zac Efron, looking angry and shaking his head.