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Erin got cupped and Bryan went on an old boat, but it wasn't good times for everyone... more »
Published April 29, 2014 53k views More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Starring Erin Gibson & Bryan Safi
Written by Erin Gibson & Bryan Safi
Camera Op: Cristina Dunlap
Editor: Ian Skalski
Camera Op: Matt Sweeney
Art: Tricia Robertson
Follow Erin & Bryan on Twitter
Erin:
http://www.twitter.com/gibblertron
Bryan:
http://www.twitter.com/bryansafi

1

(ERIN): THIS IS

2

(ERIN AND BRYAN TOGETHER): THROWING SHADE.

3

(BRYAN): WHERE FEMINASTY ERIN GIBSON,

4

(ERIN): AND HOMOSENSUAL BRYAN SAFI,

5

(BRYAN): TAKE A LOOK AT THE HEADLINES
AND POLITICS,

6

(ERIN): AND POP CULTURE,

7

(BRYAN) AND TREAT THEM WITH MUCH
LESS RESPECT THAN THEY DESERVE.

8

(ERIN): CAN YOU HANDLE IT?

9

(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

10

IS THAT MADONNA?

11

(STILL SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

12

BUT IT'S A REAL MANTRA.

13

YOU KNOW THE ONE THING ABOUT
MADONNA IS SHE WILL TAKE SOMETHING

14

REAL, AND THEN JUST
BLOW IT OUT OF THE WATER.

15

YEAH--

16

OR BLOW IT THROUGH THE-- I DON'T
KNOW, BLOW IT UNDERGROUND--

17

SHE'LL BLOW IT.

18

SHE'LL MAKE A BOMB,
AND SHE'LL BLOW IT.

19

YEAH. I GOT THAT IN SANSKRIT,
ROUGHLY TRANSLATES TO I GOT

20

ACUPUNCTURE FOR THE FIRST TIME, AND I GOT MY BACK CUPPED.

21

OH YOU DID?

22

THAT'S WHY I SANG IT.

23

WHAT KIND OF CUP DID THEY USE?

24

THEY USED AN OLD MCDONALDS
GARFIELD, LIKE COMMEMORATIVE MUG.

25

-TOTALLY, YEAH.
-YEAH.

26

YOU KNOW THOSE OLD GLASS MUGS
FROM THE 80S--

27

OH, OF COURSE. THATS'S
STILL WHAT USED FOR--

28

WHAT DID YOU HAVE? I HAD A STAR
WARS, AND I HAD A GARFIELD.

29

I HAD MUPPET BABIES--

30

OH, I'M JEALOUS.

31

YEAH, AND I THINK I HAD CARE BEARS.

32

OH YOU DID?

33

YEAH.

34

I HAD LIKE HOT RODS. I ALWAYS
PICKED THE BOY GIFT. I WANTED

35

HOT RODS, I WANTED--

36

WELL I NEVER PICKED THE GIRL GIFT. THAT'S JUST WHAT I GOT.

37

OH, THEY GAVE THAT TO YOU?

38

YEAH, SO DON'T FUCKING
GO THERE WITH ME.

39

OH NO, THEY WERE LIKE, "MMH,
SHOULD WE GIVE HIM THE DUKES OF

40

HAZARD, OR SHOULD
WE GIVE HIM THE CARE BEARS.

41

THAT WOULD BE WEIRD. THAT WOULD BE LIKE THE WEIRDEST CHOICE FOR A CHILD.

42

THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL WHO HAD
THIS BIG BROUHAHA, BECAUSE

43

SHE WANTED THE BOYS TOY, AND SHE
SAID WHAT HAPPENED WAS THERE WAS

44

INSTITUTIONAL GENDER
BIAS AT MCDONALDS.

45

ANYONE WHO'S SAYING THAT IS TO
OLD FOR THE KIDS TOY.

46

SHE'S THE DOUGIE HOWSER OF LAWYERS.

47

OH COOL.

48

SO SHE--

49

SHE'S A LAWYER.

50

-SHE'S A CHILD LAWYER.
-GOT IT.

51

SO SHE HAS A TINY SUIT ON.
IT'S VERY MUCH LIKE REESE WITHERSPOON IN LEGALLY BLOND.

52

YEAH.

53

IT'S ALL PINK. WELL
YOU STARTED A CHILD LAW FIRM.

54

I DID. I DID, CALLED LITTLE LAWYERS--

55

YEAH.

56

NO, I THOUGHT IT WAS CALLED--

57

L-I-L.

58

IT WAS, LIL' LAWYERS, AND IT WAS
BASICALLY, EVERYONE CAME IN,

59

AND DID ALL THE LEGAL WORK.

60

WHAT KIND OF CASES DID YOU DO?

61

WELL I WAS FRAMED FOR MURDER, AND SO--

62

AND THAT'S WHY YOU STARTED A LAW FIRM?

63

(LAUGHS) YEAH.

64

MM-HMM.

65

GUESS WHAT I DID THIS WEEKEND?

66

LOTION'D YOUR FACE.

67

YEAH, SURE, BUT THAT'S EVERYDAY.

68

MM-HMM. DID YOU GET TOE EXTENSIONS?

69

I DID, BUT THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT.

70

MM-KAY.

71

BUT MY TOES ARE NOW EACH 8 INCHES LONG.

72

OH THEY ARE?

73

THEY LOOK GREAT.

74

HOW DID THEY DO THAT?
THEY DO EXTRA RIBS--

75

THEY JUST PULL'EM.

76

OH.

77

EACH TOE TAKES ABOUT 10 MINUTES--

78

THAT'S GREAT--

79

OH YEAH, I'M JUST KICKING
BACK WITH MY US--

80

SHORTER THAN A LASER.

81

--LIKE NO BIG WOOP.

82

YEAH.

83

YOU KNOW, LOOKING AT ALL THE LATEST
FASHIONS AND DESIGNS.

84

SO YOU GOT ACUPUNCTURE.
IS THAT WHAT YOU SAID? DID IT AT ALL FEEL LIKE--

85

SOMEONE MAKING LOVE TO ME?

86

FIRST OF ALL I ONLY DO IT ON MY BACK.

87

OH, WHERE'D THEY DO IT?

88

WELL THEY DID A LITTLE BIT ON
MY BACK. THEY DID MY KNECK--

89

NO.

90

--MY BACK, MY PUSSY, AND MY CRACK.

91

DO THEY DO ACUPUNCTURE ON THE VAGINA?

92

SURE WHY NOT.
NO, I'VE NEVER HAD IT DONE.

93

YEAH.

94

BUT I WOULD IMAGINE THEY WOULD
IF YOU WERE LIKE, YOU NEEDED

95

TO INCREASE SOME FLOW DOWN THERE.

96

YEAH.

97

YOU NEED TO GET YOUR
OOJI BREATH GOING DOWN THERE.

98

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

99

YOUR OOJI BREATH.

100

YOGA. YOU'RE GETTING EVERYTHING
TO FLOW. YOU'RE GETTING YOUR

101

HEAT UP. YOU KNOW? AND THEN THE
NEEDLES JUST RELEASE THE HEAT.

102

DO YOU EVER OPEN YOUR DOORS IN
THE MORNING AND GO, "MY VAGINA

103

NEEDS TO BREATHE."

104

YES. THAT'S WHY I
GOT FRENCH DOORS INSTALLED.

105

YEAH. WE HAD A SLIDING GLASS
DOOR AND I SAID, "I CAN'T DO...

106

MY VAGINA NEEDS TO BREATHE." I
CAN'T DO-- I CAN'T LIFT UP THE

107

PIECE OF WOOD THAT'S IN THE
BOTTOM AS THE LOCK. RIGHT?

108

YEAH.

109

OPEN THE DOOR WHICH IS AN AWFUL
SOUND BY ITSELF. OPEN THE SCREEN

110

UP, AND THEN GO, "MY VAGINA
NEEDS TO BREATHE." THERE'S SO

111

MANY-- I NEED A FRENCH DOOR THAT
I CAN DO JUST ONE LUCK, PUSH IT OPEN.

112

YEAH.

113

AND THEN THE BIRDS FLY IN. THE
SHELVES, THE DOVES SURROUND ME.

114

OH, YEAH.

115

AND ONE HUMMINGBIRD
LANDS ON MY NOSE, AND I GO--

116

OH IT DOES.

117

--MY VAGINA NEEDS TO BREATHE.

118

WITH A HUMMINGBIRD
ON YOUR NOSE.

119

THEN MY NEIGHBOR GOES, "WE HAVE

CHILDREN. SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

120

THEN I'M LIKE, "YOUR BABY SHOULD BE
AWAKE FOR THIS.

121

I CAN'T IMAGINE ANYTHING SCARIER
THAN A HUMMINGBIRD LANDING

122

ON MY NOSE AND FLAPPING IT'S WINGS.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO.

123

IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

124

I WOULD JUST BE LIKE...

125

IT'S SO FAST YOU CAN'T
EVEN SEE IT.

126

I GUESS SO.

127

YOUR JUST LIKE, "IS THAT A MIRAGE OR IS
THAT A HUMMINGBIRD ON MY NOSE?"

128

I WOULD SCREAM, AND THEN THE
NEXT THING I WOULD DO IS I WOULD

129

TELL EVERYONE LIKE, I WOULDN'T SAY
ABOUT WHAT, BUT I WOULD BE LIKE I WAS ATTACKED

130

THIS MORNING AND THEY WOULD BE LIKE,
"BY WHAT?" AND I WOULD BE LIKE,

131

HONESTLY I'M IN SUCH SHOCK THAT
IT'S ABSOLUTELY NONE OF YOUR

132

CONCERN, AND I WOULD LIKE TO ASK
YOU TO LEAVE THE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY.

133

BUT YOU'RE IN THEIR HOUSE.

134

-YEAH.
-YEAH.

135

YOU KNOW WHAT?
THEY'RE GOING TO ASSUME--

136

HUMMINGBIRD.

137

GHOSTS.

138

YEAH.

139

OR GHOST HUMMINGBIRD, WHICH
WOULD BE THE SCARIEST THING.

140

THAT WOULD ACTUALLY BE REALLY SCARY,
BECAUSE YOU WOULD FEEL--

141

IF YOU WOKE UP AT NIGHT,
AND YOU FELT IT.

142

YEAH. THE TINIEST BRUSH
OF WIND IS A HUMMINGBIRD GHOST.

143

THAT'S THE FIRST LINE.
THAT'S THE FIRST LINE.

144

THE FIRST LINE OF YOUR MOVIE,
AND THE LAST LINE OF YOUR MOVIE.

145

YEP. EXACTLY. AND THE MOVIE IS
CALLED ALSO THE TINIEST BRUSH

146

OF WIND IS THE HUMMINGBIRD GHOST.

147

OH, EVERYTHING SAYS,
EVERYTHING IN YOUR MOVIE.

148

YEAH, AND THEN--

149

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE IT. IS IT
GETTING MASS DISTRIBUTION?

150

IT'S GETTING AN INTERNATIONAL,
YEAH. EVERYONE-- IT'S SO FUNNY

151

BECAUSE ALL OVER THE WORLD I'M
GETTING CALLS BEING LIKE, "HI

152

WE DO NEED A FEW COPIES." AND
I'M LIKE LISTEN, YOU KNOW.

153

AND THEN I'D SEND THEM.

154

155

YOU KNOW ERIN, I ALWAYS THINK
ABOUT MY DREAM WEDDING.

156

OH REALLY?

157

YEAH, AND IT WOULD JUST BE--

158

NOW IS THIS JUST A WEDDING THAT YOU
ONLY HAVE WHEN YOU'RE ASLEEP?

159

YES, AND I ONLY HAVE IT WHEN I'M
DREAMING. SO NONE OF IT'S IN COLOR.

160

NO.

161

EXCEPT LIKE, EVERYONE'S FACE IS
A DULL PINK. EVERYONE HAS ARMS,

162

BUT NO HANDS.

163

-OH YEAH.
-YEAH.

164

BECAUSE THAT'S
LIKE VERY FREUDIAN.

165

YEAH.

166

NOT LIKE, YOU DON'T HAVE ANY CONTROL.

167

AND THEN THE PRIEST TALKS
LIKE A CHICKEN.

168

MY WEDDING IS GOING TO BE
STRAWBERRY THEMED.

169

STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE OR JUST
REGULAR STRAWBERRY?

170

JUST REGULAR STRAWBERRIES. I'M
GOING TO DRESS UP AS A GIANT STRAWBERRY.

171

BEAUTIFUL.

172

AND THEN AT THE END OF THE CEREMONY
BECAUSE MY HUSBAND TO BE IS

173

ALSO DRESSED AS A STRAWBERRY.

174

RIGHT. WE NOW BRING THESE TWO
STRAWBERRIES TOGETHER.

175

YEAH. AND AT THE END HE GOES,
"NOW TIME TO JOIN SEEDS."

176

OH THAT'S CUTE.

177

YEAH.

178

DO YOU DO A FEAST? DO YOU DO A
HEAR YE, AND YOU HAVE WOODEN MUGS?

179

WELL YEAH. THE WHOLE-- THE THEME
IS WOODEN MUGS AND STRAWBERRIES.

180

AND THAT WAS ON THE INVITATION.

181

YOU GOTTA START A BUSINESS.

182

I KNOW. WELL, I WISH I COULD,
BUT SOMEONE'S DREAM WEDDING

183

THAT DIDN'T INVOLVE ANY OF THAT.
MAYBE BECAUSE IT DIDN'T INVOLVE

184

ANY OF THAT CREATIVITY--

185

YOUR VICTIM BLAMING
RIGHT NOW I THINK.

186

-WELL I ALWAYS DO--
-MM-HMM.

187

--WAS TOTALLY RUINED AND
CRASHED. THERE'S A WEDDING VENUE

188

IN NASHVILLE TENNESSEE
CALLED MINT SPRINGS.

189

GROSS.

190

COULD YOU EVER THINK OF IT-- YOU
GO TO THE--

191

YOU CAN'T GET MARRIED IN THE
MIDDLE OF A SPRING.

192

YOU GO TO THIS WEBSITE, AND FIRST
OF ALL WHEN YOU LOOK AT IT YOU'RE

193

LIKE OH, I GUESS THEY ONLY
MARRY BLOND PEOPLE. LIKE BECAUSE--

194

(ERIN): OH IT'S AN
ARIAN PLACE? YEAH.

195

(BRYAN): ALL OF THE WEDDING
PHOTOS, AND IT'S JUST LIKE

196

BLOND GORGEOUS PEOPLE WITH
BLOND-- EVEN THE TUXEDOS ARE

197

BLOND. WELL TWO IRAQ WAR
VETERANS, BEEN TOGETHER 9 YEARS,

198

ANTHONY WILFERT AND BRIAN BLAS--

199

(ERIN): ANTHONY AND BRIAN?

200

(BRYAN): ANTHONY AND BRIAN.

201

(ERIN): -ADORABLE
(BRYAN): YEAH.

202

MY DAD'S NAME IS ANTHONY.

203

OH, SO YOU AND YOUR DAD--

204

SO, THEY WERE TOLD THAT THEY
COULD HOLD A COMMITMENT CEREMONY

205

AT MINT SPRINGS, BUT THEN THAT
WAS ALL CANCELLED TWO DAYS LATER.

206

BY WHOM?

207

BY MINT SPRINGS,
BY THE OWNER OF MINT SPRINGS.

208

FOR WHAT REASON?

209

WELL HERE WE GO. THEY MADE IT
VERY CLEAR FROM THE BEGINNING

210

THIS WILL BE A SAME SEX CEREMONY.
THAT'S WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE.

211

THEY MADE IT EXPLICITLY CLEAR
THAT IT WAS NOT AN ISSUE, AND

212

THEY WOULD HOST THAT TYPE OF
CEREMONY. DAYS AFTER, TWO

213

SEPARATE EMPLOYEES TOLD THEM,
YES OF COURSE WE'LL HOLD YOUR

214

CEREMONY. THEY GOT AN EMAIL FROM
THE OWNERS SAYING--

215

OH BRAVE. SO BRAVE, AN EMAIL.

216

EMAIL. YEAH. THAT'S REALLY HOW
YOU WANT TO HANDLE A SITUATION

217

WHEN YOU'VE TOLD
SOMEONE YES, AND THEN--

218

AND PROBABLY TAKEN THEIR
DEPOSIT OR WHATEVER. YEAH.

219

EXACTLY. AND THEN YOU'RE GOING
TO IMMEDIATELY BE LIKE, "OH, WHAT

220

YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY NOT. HERE'S
AN EMAIL." "UNFORTUNATELY UNTIL

221

SEX MARRIAGES IS ILLEGAL IN THE
STATE OF TENNESSEE. WE CANNOT

222

PARTICIPATE IN THIS CEREMONY AT
OUR VENUE. I WISH WE COULD HELP."

223

YOU CAN, YOU FUCKING
PIECE OF SHIT.

224

"I TRULY DO, BUT OUR HANDS ARE
ACTUALLY TIED IN THIS SITUATION."

225

WHAT SUCKS ABOUT THIS--

226

EVERYTHING?

227

WHAT'S CONFUSING ABOUT IT IS IT DOESN'T EVEN SOUND LIKE A WEDDING.

228

IT WOULD BE A COMMITMENT CEREMONY,
WHICH IS NOT ILLEGAL ANYWHERE.

229

FOR ANYWHERE TO PERFORM A
COMMITMENT CEREMONY. YOU CAN DO

230

THAT ANYWHERE BECAUSE IT'S NOT
AN ILLEGAL THING. IT HAS NOTHING

231

TO DO WITH THAT.

232

THIS IS EXACTLY LIKE--

233

SO IT DOESN'T MATTER THAT
MARRIAGE IS LEGAL, OR ILLEGAL

234

IN TENNESSEE. BECAUSE THAT'S NOT
WHAT THEY'RE DOING.

235

THIS IS LIKE MY CUSTOMER SERVICE
NIGHTMARE IS WHEN YOU CALL, AND

236

YOU'RE LIKE, "HI, SO UM, I HAVE
THIS PROBLEM..." AND IT'S

237

CLEARLY THEIR FAULT, AND THEY'RE
LIKE, "I'M SORRY MA'AM. I CAN'T

238

AUTHORIZE THAT TODAY."

239

YEAH.

240

"I WISH I COULD DO SOMETHING,
BUT I CAN'T DO ANYTHING. I'M SO SORRY."

241

WHICH IS JUST LIKE,
YOU DON'T WANT TO DO IT--

242

EXACTLY. THIS IS--

243

SO JUST SAY THAT YOU DON'T WANT
TO DO IT. DON'T BE A FUCKING DICK ABOUT IT.

244

THIS IS THE SHOPPING SCENE IN
PRETTY WOMAN.

245

YEAH.

246

THIS IS ABSOLUTELY THE SHOPPING
SCENE IN PRETTY WOMAN LIKE,

247

"PLEASE LEAVE. WE DON'T
DO THAT HERE."

248

OH, SO DON'T GET IT FUCKING
TWISTED DUDE, YOU OWN A FUCKING

249

HOUSE IN THE WOODS--

250

YEAH.

251

--THAT PEOPLE WANT TO BE AT, TO
BE IN A PRETTY ENVIRONMENT,

252

SO THAT EVERYONE CAN FEEL LOVE
AND STUFF. YOU OWN A ROOF WITH

253

SOME FUCKING WALLS--

254

YEAH.

255

--AND THERE ARE SQUIRRELS AND
BLUE BIRDS THAT SURROUND IT,

256

AND PROBABLY A FUCKING SPRING--

257

PROBABLY ABOUT A MILLION
GAZEBOS-- I HAVE A DIFFERENT

258

WEDDING THEME NOW. IT'S
GOING TO BE CALLED GAZEBO.

259

MM-HMM.

260

AND BASICALLY WHAT IT IS IT'S
GOING TO BE DIFFERENT GAZEBOS

261

SET UP. 50 PEOPLE HAVE TO BE AT
EACH GAZEBO (LAUGHS). AND THEN

262

YOU HAVE TO GO--

263

I'M SO GLAD YOU ALREADY
FIND THIS FUNNY.

264

(LAUGHS)

265

CUZ I HAVEN'T HEARD ONE THING
THAT'S MADE ME LAUGH.

266

YOU HAVE TO GO INSIDE IT, AND
RUN AROUND THE GAZEBO FOR TWO HOURS.

267

I'D RATHER DO THAT THAN GO TO AN
ACTUALLY WEDDING.

268

AND THE GRANDMOTHERS HAVE TO RUN
THE FASTEST (LAUGHS).

269

THEY DO? WHAT ARE THE
CONSEQUENCES OF THIS?

270

THERE'S NO CONSEQUENCES OTHER
THAN YOU CAN SEE OLD WOMAN HAVE

271

A HEART ATTACK.

272

THE GRANDMOTHERS HAVE
TO RUN THE FASTEST (LAUGHS).

273

A TOGA GAME IN
GAZEBOS FOR A WEDDING.

274

YEAH. IT'S OBVIOUSLY VERY
UNFORTUNATE. YOU SHOULD BE ABLE

275

TO GET MARRIED
WHEREVER YOU WANT.

276

OR HAVE AT LEAST
A COMMITMENT CEREMONY.

277

EXACTLY.

278

ALSO TAKE MY MONEY BITCH.

279

THIS IS SUCH BULLSHIT-- IT'S
SUCH BULLSHIT, BECAUSE IT'S SUCH

280

A COP-OUT OF LIKE WE'RE HIDING UNDER
THE LAW. WE'RE HIDING BEHIND THE LAW.

281

I'M ACTUALLY A GOOD PERSON--

282

-LISTEN, IT'S NOT ME, IT'S
THEM.
-YOUR NOT A GOOD PERSON.

283

IT'S NOT ME AT ALL. IF IT WERE
UP TO ME. I WOULD ABSOLUTELY LET

284

YOU DO THIS. THE FACT IS THEY
COULD DO IT. THEY COULD

285

ABSOLUTELY DO IT. IT'S NOT AN
ILLEGAL CEREMONY.

286

IF ANYBODY IN TENNESSEE IS BRAVE
ENOUGH, THEY SHOULD ABSOLUTELY

287

BOYCOTT THAT PLACE, AND NOT GO
THERE. DON'T GIVE THOSE PEOPLE

288

ANY MONEY. YOU HEARD ABOUT THOSE
STICKERS THAT ARE HAPPENING IN

289

UM, MISSISSIPPI?

290

OH YEAH.

291

THAT SAYS, IF YOU GOT MONEY,
I'M NOT DISCRIMINATING. IT'S LIKE A

292

BETTER SLOGAN THAN THAT,
BUT IT WAS A HAIR DRESSER--

293

I'D LIKE THE STICKERS THAT SAY
LIKE, CONGRATULATIONS.

294

FOR WHEN YOU DID GOOD
ON YOUR TEST?

295

YEAH. SO I THINK THAT.

296

297

SPOILER, SPOILER, SPOILER,
SPOILER, SPOILER,

298

SPOILER ALERT.

299

GOT IT.

300

(SIGH) GAME OF THRONES.

301

HEARD OF IT.

302

OK, YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS RAPE
SCENE EVERYONES TALKING ABOUT?

303

NO.

304

WELL OK, THERE HAS BEEN A LOT OF
RAPE ON THE SHOW--

305

YEAH.

306

--TO KIND OF SHOW DEPRAVITY OF
THIS WORLD, AND HOW LITTLE PEOPLE

307

CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER, BUT AS A
LOVER OF THE SHOW, I HAVE--

308

I'VE HAD IT.

309

I UNDERSTAND IT AS A DEVICE
IN STORIES TO SHOW THAT VERY THING,

310

BUT THEY OVER USE IT.

311

MMHH...

312

THERE IS SO MUCH RAPE-- THERE IS
MORE RAPE THAN THERE IS MURDER.

313

I FUCKING GET IT. IT'S A SHITTY
WORLD. THERE ARE WALKING SKELETONS.

314

YEAH.

315

SO LAST WEEK WAS A RAPE SCENE
EVERYONE WAS TALKING ABOUT AND

316

IT WAS BETWEEN CERSEI AND JAIME
LANNISTER. BACKGROUND ON THEM--

317

YEAH.

318

CERSEI AND JAMIE ARE
BROTHER AND SISTER.

319

MM-HMM.

320

THEY'VE BEEN'A FUCKIN'.

321

CERSEI AND JAMIE COULD
ALSO BE A DISNEY CHANNEL SHOW.

322

CERSEI AND JAMIE?

323

-YEAH.
-YEAH.

324

WHAT WOULD IT BE ABOUT?

325

TWIN DOGS, AND THEY EACH GO TO THE--
YOU KNOW EACH LIKE COLUMNIST.

326

CERSEI WAS MARRIED TO THE KING
WHO DIED, AND SHE HAD A SON WITH

327

THE KING, BUT
NU-UH-UH-UH-UH...

328

IT'S HER, AND HER
BROTHER'S SON.

329

OH, THAT'S THE ONE.

330

AND HIS NAME IS JOFFREY.

331

YEAH.

332

ANYWAY, HE DIED--

333

RIGHT.

334

--A COUPLE OF EPISODES AGO.

335

YEAH.

336

HE WAS POISONED AND
HE HAD A VERY--

337

THE VEINS.

338

-VERY VEINY SCENE.
-YEAH.

339

SO THEY'RE HANGING OUT
BY THEIR DEAD SON.

340

-JUST LIKE...
-YEAH.

341

HANGING OUT BY THEIR DEAD SON,
AND THEN THEY START MAKING OUT.

342

THEN THEY STOP MAKING OUT.

343

SO HE'S ON TOP OF HER.

344

MM-HMM.

345

AND SHE'S SAYING, "STOP, IT'S
NOT RIGHT." AND THEN HE SAYS,

346

"I DON'T CARE."

347

THAT IS--

348

SO EVERYONE WAS
LIKE-- WABA'DA, WABA'DA WHAT?

349

WHAT MADE IT WORSE, NOT THAT YOU
CAN, IS THAT THE DIRECTOR ALEX

350

GRAVES--

351

(GASPS)

352

DIDN'T THINK IT WAS RAPE.

353

WHAT DID HE SAY?

354

HE SAID, "WELL IT BECOMES
CONSENSUAL BY THE END BECAUSE

355

ANYTHING FOR THEM ULTIMATELY
RESULTS IN A TURN ON, ESPECIALLY

356

A POWER STRUGGLE.

357

I DON'T MEAN TO BE A JERK BUT
THESE PEOPLE HAVE GOT PROBLEMS.

358

(LAUGHS) YEAH, YOUR RIGHT
ON FOR THAT.

359

YOU KNOW WHAT THEY NEED. THERAPY.

360

-THANK YOU.
-YEAH.

361

OR HERBAL ESSENCE HAIRAPY.

362

-YEAH.
-YEAH.

363

THEY SHOULD DO ANALYZE
THIS GAME OF THRONES MASH UP.

364

THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.

365

ROBERT JR.'S CHARACTER FROM
ANALYZE THIS SHOULD COME ON, AND THEN HELP.

366

YEAH.

367

OH NO, THE OTHER ONE.

368

WHOEVER. IT'S APPLICABLE. WHAT'S
INTERESTING IS HOW PEOPLE RESPONDED

369

TO THIS, BECAUSE THE DIRECTOR
HIMSELF SAID THEY WERE LIKE

370

VERY CAREFUL TO NOT MAKE THIS
LOOK LIKE RAPE, EVEN THOUGH,

371

SHE'S LITERALLY SAYING, I DON'T
WANT TO DO THIS. AND HE'S SAYING,

372

I DON'T GIVE A FUCK.

373

RIGHT.

374

SO HE POINTS TO LIKE, THERE'S A
MOMENT WHERE SHE'S GRABBING ON

375

TO THE TAPESTRY THAT
HER SON IS LYING ON.

376

MM-HMM.

377

NOT TRYING TO GET AWAY, BUT
SHE'S ENJOYING IT.

378

AND THEN HE, ALEX GRAVES USES
THE PRASE, "THERE WAS PLENTY OF KISSING."

379

OH SURE, THE KISSING
WAS A PLENTY.

380

THAT SCENE DOESN'T
EXIST IN THE BOOK.

381

REALLY?

382

NO. SO, GEORGE R. MARTIN.

383

DOES THE R. STAND FOR RAILROAD?

384

YES. IT'S ALL ABOUT MONOPOLY
WITH HIM. OK, SO HE SAID,

385

ON HIS BLOG, "IN THE NOVEL
JAIME'S NOT PRESENT AT JOFFREY'S

386

DEATH, AND INDEED CERSEI HAS
BEEN FEARFUL THAT HE'S DEAD HIMSELF.

387

AND THEN SUDDENLY JAIMIE IS
THERE FOR HER. THOUGH THE TIME

388

AND PLACE IS WIDELY INAPPROPRIATE
AND CERSEI IS FEARFUL OF DISCOVERY

389

SHE IS HUNGRY FOR HIM AS SHE IS
FOR HER." SO, AND THEN HE GOES ON

390

TO SAY LIKE, "IF THE SHOW HAD
RETAINED SOME OF CERSEI'S DIALOGUE

391

FROM THE BOOKS, THEY MIGHT'VE
LEFT A DIFFERENT IMPRESSION. ALL

392

I CAN REALLY SAY ON THIS ISSUE IS THE
SCENE WAS INTENDED TO BE DISTURBING,

393

BUT I DO REGRET IF IT HAS
DISTURBED PEOPLE FOR THE WRONG REASONS."

394

SOUNDS LIKE IT HAS.

395

SO ANYWAY, LAST NIGHT I WAS
LIKE, I WAS JUST PISSED. I WAS MAD

396

ABOUT IT--

397

WE CANCELLED
ENLIGHTENED FOR THIS?

398

THANK YOU.

399

AND A COME BACK?

400

I KNOW THEY'RE SLIGHTLY
DIFFERENT TONES, BUT COME ON.

401

WELL YEAH. YEAH, EXACTLY.

402

SO I WROTE ON TWITTER, "GAME OF
THRONES, I SAW THE RAPE SCENES

403

IN THE BACKGROUND TONIGHT.
PLEASE GIVE IT A REST."

404

MM-HMM.

405

THINKING, WHATEVER, I'M SURE
OTHER PEOPLE ARE THINKING THIS. RIGHT?

406

SOMEBODY GOT ATTACKED ON TWITTER
LAST NIGHT.

407

OH.

408

AND HER NAME'S ERIN GIBSON.

409

AH HA.

410

@MAT60606, HE SAID, "IT WAS IN
THE FOREGROUND PLENTY ERIN. I

411

DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU WOULD
WANT TO ALTER SOMEONE ELSE'S WORK."

412

AS IF YOU WERE GOING TO.

413

-WHICH IS IRONIC--
-HOW COULD YOU HAVE?

414

WHICH IS IRONIC, BECAUSE THE
WRITERS THEMSELVES ALTERED

415

GEORGE R. MARTIN'S WORK.

416

VERY IRONIC.

417

SO, I'M NOT INTO ALTERING, I'M
JUST SAYING, HEY, CAN WE CUT THE RAPE.

418

@CHRIS_M: I THINK WE SHOULD
PRETEND THAT RAPE ISN'T ONE OF THE
HORRORS OF WAR.

419

YEAH, LET'S NEVER SPEAK OF IT.
THAT'LL BE BETTER RIGHT?

420

OH WOW.

421

HORRORS OF WAR. ABOUT A TV SHOW
WITH A SKELETON ON A SKELETON HORSE.

422

SO HE'S SAYING--

423

HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND
THIS IS FANTASY.

424

HE'S SAYING THAT
RAPE IS A HORROR OF WAR.

425

YEAH, SO HE'S DOING A SARCASTIC
THING OF LIKE WELL RAPE IS APART OF

426

WAR ERIN. SO I GUESS WE SHOULD
NEVER SPEAK OF IT HUH.

427

IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ERIN?

428

YOU NEVER WANT TO
TALK ABOUT WAR?

429

INTERESTING BECAUSE I KNOW ALL
THE WARS HAVE BEEN FOUGHT WITH

430

DRAGONS AND UH--

431

(LAUGHS)

432

--AND WALKING SKELETONS, AND
ABSOLUTELY THERE'S BEEN RAPE
IN THOSE.

433

YOU'RE RIGHT. THERE GOING FOR REALISM.

434

YEAH. SO, REAL, REALISM.

435

YEAH.

436

(SIGH) I'M JUST OVER IT. I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY THAT I MADE EVERYONE

437

MAD ABOUT HAVING A PROBLEM
ABOUT THE RAPE ON GAME OF THRONES.

438

SO I FUCKING CHANGE
MY MIND. MORE RAPE PLEASE.

439

YEAH.

440

YOU WIN.

441

YEAH. YOU WERE VERY EASILY DEFEATED.

442

YEAH, WHATEVER.

443

HANDEDLY.

444

I'M JUST GIVING UP.

445

BRONNS HANDEDLY.

446

I'M BRONNS HANDLING IT UP. YEAH.

447

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