It's your tride and true gal pal,
and tonight's How I Seize It is gonna be
another insta-classic HISI where
no dumb cuntress can escape my rage.
That faggy Jet Blue worker...
That Tea Party Delaware gal,
everyone done forgot...
Long before and throughout
and long after my HISIs is dead and buried-
There has been a long line of
stoop and ignorant and half-retarded bitches-
And now? Ho, ho ho...
Now, we have reached the epic spot in history.
Now, all the stoop, ignorant and half-retarded bitches
has got themselves a leader,
none other than the
Congresswoman Michele Bachmann,
'That stoop, ignorant, half-retarded bitch
a-runnin' for the presidents.'
God, Geraldine Ferraro must be
rollin' over in her grave.
Bless her heart.
Y'all this ain't what the country need.
She ain't the answer to nothin'!
I mean seriously, y'all...
I might vote for this heifer if like
the local Girl Scout leader got caught
fingerin' the Brownies,
but not for no damn free world leader!
Not even if the Baby Jesus said so!
Ain't no way in hell!
Not for no-
Not for no Tea Turd.
I mean most peoples ask me,
"Why don't you rail on Sarah Palin?"
"Do a HISI on her!"
Everybody already know she a dipshit!
That ain't no cuttin' edge!
Y'all we need to cut her brakes,
cause she done had a hard life
passin' off that Down Syndrome grandbaby
so the world don't find out
what sluts her kids is.
Waste my beer...
Mighta known I'd spill my bee
on a fuckin' Palin line.
Sarah Palin make me goddamn crazy.
Hey y'all, this here is all you need
to vote your conscience.
This here is the Top 10 Reasons NOT
to vote for that Republi-cunt.
Here we go.
You can't trust someone who can't blink they eyes.
I mean, that's why we don't let
cats run for office, y'all!
She a hypocrite who hates faggots
except if you marry them
and make them lick your muffin once a year.
so they ain't bound for Eternal Hell and all.
And this here's my personal favorite.
She a cunt.
Now are you really ready for a homo First Lady?
I mean come on y'all,
we just got our first black one.
We need to pace ourselves here.
Bitch says they ain't no global warming.
Well, all I can say is
she must have kept her ass inside all summers.
We oughta throwed her ass in that hurricane.
Alright, movin' onto six.
If you can't trust the parents
of a woman too stupid to have
aborted her in the first place,
than HOW can we trust
the unaborted result?
I mean y'all, that's just logical.
Alright #7 says...
Shit, I got some beer on it...
Yes She Cunt!
Now, that's got a good rang to it, y'all.
See that's important enough to announce twice.
Yes she cunt...
Now, onto Eight...
Every other thing she says is either a lie,
apology, an attack, Fox News misinformations
and general garbage.
You know, I think that her husband
just ain't slappin' that bitch around enough.
Fuck, this bitch just makes me wanna drink more.
Take me home, Lord.
It's a known fact that radical Muslims
hates womens more than they hates the Bush family,
I mean, come on y'all.
Let's keep America safe!
I mean, I kinda like blamin' mens
for all our problems, don't y'all?
Hey, y'all, thank you for listenin'.
I want you all to get out to the polls and votes,
but if you plannin' on clickin' LIKE
next to this bitch's name,
than may you kindly get into a fatal accident
on the way to the polls.
And that's How I Seize It.