Sofia Coppola's Little Mermaid

(atmospheric music plays)
(sounds of bubbles under water)
(Voiceover) My father was the sea king.
He never understood why I
longed for something else.
To be, there.
(rocking music plays)
And octopus witch told me if I
gave her my voice she would make
me human.
Evan Peters: (Voiceover) My name is Prince Eric.
Evan Peters: What's your name?
Evan Peters: No, no that's cool.
Evan Peters: Saving room for my other friends.
(dance music plays)
(Voiceover) I don't know what it is.
There's something fishy about you.
(singing stupor)
(Voiceover) Someone once said, the seaweed is
always greener in somebody else's lake.
A crab said that.
(slow emotional music plays)
Evan Peters: You literally just said nothing.
(slow emotional music continues)
(Funny or Die ending jingle)