How to Shit Where You Eat

Description: We all know that men are biologically destined to spend 70% of their waking hours thinking about sex. When a man spends 80% of that time in one location, like an office, he will most likely try to have some sex there. We say go for it. However by dipping your pen in the company ink, you leave yourself at the mercy of feminine predators who will use your daily availability and low self-esteem to ensnare you in a relationship and effectively neuter you. In order to avoid this entrapment, you must master an active state of denial and refuse to acknowledge the affair. The key to shitting where you eat is to go right back and eat there again, grinning bravely as if the food wasn’t covered in the shit of your sexual conquest. In this next scene, Ed and Sarah hooked up on Saturday night at a company party. After an awkward courtship revolving mostly around Ed’s inability to remember Sarah’s name, they consummated their attraction in a race-car bed belonging to the Development Director’s small child. Watch how Ed deftly avoids feminine entrapment as he unflinchingly interacts with his shit-smeared co-worker on Monday morning.