Written & Directed by Alex Fernie Starring: Alex Fernie, Greg Tuculescu, Deborah Tarica, Clay Larsen and Allan McLeod Director of Photography: Brian Lane Grip: Tom Peña Produced by: Allison Hord Edited by: Andy Maxwell Production Design: Rachael Ferrara
Greg Tuculescu: Yeah, I'm just finishing up with my progressive kayaking friends.
Alex Fernie: Progressive kayaking friends? On your computer?
Greg Tuculescu: Yeah, I get America Online Huffington Post.
Alex Fernie: What's that?
Greg Tuculescu: You don't know? AOL bought the Huffington Post. It's very exciting. Hey, do you like keeping abreast of political, world, and entertainment news?
Alex Fernie: Yes.
Greg Tuculescu: And, do you like friendly chat rooms filled with horny Midwesterners?
Alex Fernie: Well, of course.
Greg Tuculescu: Then you're gonna love everything AOL HuffPo has to offer. Let me show you. AOL HuffPo will mail you an installation CD-ROM, connect to the worldwide web, and voila! You're ready for cutting-edge fervor commentary and masturbation. Everyone is doing it.
Deborah Tarica: Finally! A merger combining my source of news with my grandmother's favorite method of getting online.
[Door Creaks And Slams Shut]
Clay Larsen: I use AOL HuffPo to download WAV files of my favorite Arianna Huffington quotes.
Arianna Huffington: Master of the internet.
Clay Larsen: That happens whenever I get an e-mail.
Allan McLeod: Now, I can get intelligent, political discourse at the same place I have cyber sex with fourteen-year-old's.
Greg Tuculescu: Chat rooms, political poll results, movie trailers, every quote by Alec Baldwin, and two whole megabytes of e-mail storage. AOL HuffPo really has it all.
Alex Fernie: You can do all that?
Greg Tuculescu: You sure can. But mainly it's for the cyber sex.
Alex Fernie: I gotta check this out. After the game. [Laughs]
Greg Tuculescu: America Online and the Huffington Post. Bringing the future back to nineteen ninety-six.