Celebrities See All

Close

Quick Links

or
Embattled GOP presidential candidate Herman Cain has some bold plans for the future of America.
Published November 08, 2011 1.5m views Immortal More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Starring: Mike Tyson
Written by: Joel Church Cooper
Directed by: Scott Gairdner, Danny Jelinek
Produced by: Ally Hord, Anna Wenger, Alex Richanbach
Coordinator: Michelle Fox
DP: Jonathan Nicholas
B-Cam Operator: Tony Lopez Cepero
Hair: Kat Bardot
Makeup: Kat Bardot
Wardrobe: Nicole Boutiette
Sound: Bo Sundberg
Art: Erin Cantelo
Special Thanks: Kiki Tyson

1

(America music)
(scratching noise)

2

Herman: Hello, I'm Herman Cain.

3

The man who been shouting

4

the number 9 on your TV.

5

I used to be the CEO of Godfather's.

6

A restaurant so gross

7

it made my children hate pizza.

8

And now I'm running for president

9

and leading in the Republican polls.

10

Why?

11

Because the Tea Party loves crazy

12

more than they hate black

13

and I'm crazier than a shit house rat.

14

I'm not going anywhere.

15

I'll win this republican nomination

16

because with your support I can

17

and will be much crazier.

18

Cain!

19

I'm gonna wear flag pants

20

the size of a fat baby's head.

21

Cain!

22

And show off the cool handshake

23

me and Jesus have been working on

24

for when he comes back to earth.

25

Okay!

26

My alternative energy plan

27

will be to use illegal
aliens as human batteries.

28

Like it the matriceesees.

29

As part of my tough stance on immigration,

30

Taco Tuesdays will be changed

31

to Pizza PThurdays.

32

Cain!

33

Finally, my vice president nominee

34

will be a computer programmed

35

to think like Ronald Reagan.

36

Computer: Please insert a jellybean

37

into my USB port.

38

I run on jellybeans like Ronald Reagan.

39

Herman: I love you.

40

Chocolate might be the flavor of the week,

41

but crazy is the taste
Republicans never tire of.

42

I want to be your president

43

because this Cain is able.

44

And if you give me time

45

I'll make you a fable.

46

(rock music)

47

Voiceover Yelling: Cain,
Cain, Cain, Cain, Cain!

48

(America music)

AUTOPLAY
Up Next In: 10
Advertisement
Advertisement

From Around the Web

More