Will Ferrell and Adam McKay introduce the newest member of the Funny or Die team, Judd Apatow, the man behind Knocked Up and Forty Year ...
Published October 16, 2007 1.1m views More Info ยป
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Starring Will Ferrell, Adam McKay and Judd Apatow.
13,966 Funny Votes
5,095 Die Votes
1,139,402 Views
Published October 16, 2007

[Music Playing]

[Explosion Sound]

Judd Apatow: Thank you, sir. It is great to be here.

Adam McKay: We're really excited. You're gonna be doing, uh, videos with us, and...

Judd Apatow: It's just nice to, to work with people that you're on the, the same page with. And you know that it's gonna be fun.

Will Ferrell: You have a [Inaudible] with.

Judd Apatow: Yeah. I, not that this is the time to pitch, but, just, I was thinking about like a character, like a private dick character, and you know, okay, there's murders.

Adam McKay: Mhm. Right.

Judd Apatow: And he goes to the scene of the crime, and there's usually like, the widow. And you know, and then they fu** or something.

Adam McKay: What do you mean, so like, you do, you like, it's a old widow, and then it's like a...

Will Ferrell: Yeah.

Adam McKay: Oh, I wanna kiss you, and then you see the sheets ruffle and...

Judd Apatow: It's like, this private dick, but, he's like a private dick, and.

Will Ferrell: And it's a parody on, on a, private eye movie?

Judd Apatow: Well, it can have some humor in it, but I mean, it's basically, it's like an adult film. I mean, this is the internet, right? I mean...

Adam McKay: We're not doing porn though, I mean, you can be a little risque or you can be dirty.

Judd Apatow: It's adult.

Adam McKay: But you're talking about full penetration. On film.

Judd Apatow: Well, yeah. Like...

Adam McKay: Penis going into a vagina.

Judd Apatow: Uh huh.

Will Ferrell: That's porn. That's porno. Pornography.

Adam McKay: That's porno. Real quick I'll answer that, that's porno.

Judd Apatow: The only thing that makes money on the internet is, is porno, right?

Will Ferrell: No, that's not true. That's not true. No.

Adam McKay: That's not true at all. There's like, a lot of successful sites.

Judd Apatow: You know, I'm just doing well right now. You know, and it's just weird to spend a lot of time on things where you don't make money.

Adam McKay: Well, then, we're not doing porn, though. We're not comfortable. We're married, we have kids, we're not...

Judd Apatow: Yeah, I'm married. I have two kids.

Will Ferrell: Did you put two kids in quotes?

Adam McKay: Bottom line, you're not doing porno films.

Judd Apatow: [Yelling] I want this site to make some fu**ing money! That's how I look at it. How do you expand it? I mean, isn't that why we're here? To figure out how to, like, work this demographic?

Adam McKay: [Sighs] That's disgusting, man. You're saying where it's like demographic, expand, make money?

Judd Apatow: It's a business!

Adam McKay: We're fu**in' having fun!

Will Ferrell: We're just having fun.

Judd Apatow: Fun? If you wanna have fun let's go get a fu**in' beer, this is working hours. It's nine to five.

Adam McKay: Oh, that is disgusting, man.

Judd Apatow: I'm making one. And you're gonna put it up.

Adam McKay: You're gonna make a fu**ing porno film?

Will Ferrell: You're gonna make a porno?

Judd Apatow: I'm gonna make one and you're gonna put it up.

Adam McKay: And you're gonna be in it? Are you gonna be in it?

Judd Apatow: Well, if I'm right for the part. I think that you guys need to respect me a little bit. Do you know what happened this summer? Do you know what happened?

Adam McKay: Uh, the...

Will Ferrell: What?

Judd Apatow: Knocked Up, Superbad, I went two for two. Two for two. Yeah. Yeah, that's what happened.

Will Ferrell: No, that's great. We're happy for you.

Judd Apatow: Yeah.

Will Ferrell: But, when you do it like that you come off like an a*shole.

Adam McKay: It's just weird

Will Ferrell: Yeah.

Adam McKay: that we just introduced you to come out, first off, you right away mention money. You said you're two for two.

Will Ferrell: Yeah, stop saying you're two for two.

Adam McKay: It's a little gross.

Will Ferrell: I mean we, we're two for two if you wanna talk, if you wanna talk like that. We're two for two.

Judd Apatow: Yeah, but I was also, I worked on those movies so in a way I'm four for four.

Adam McKay: All right. Stop saying something for something.

Judd Apatow: Don't you want my input on like the whole site? I mean, what's the point?

Will Ferrell: Well, of course, we value your opinion, but not if you're coming in with this weird agenda that makes no sense.

Judd Apatow: What the fu**. An agenda that makes the site make some cash.

Adam McKay: I don't like that you keep talking about money. The whole idea was like, you're like a friend of ours, you're gonna work with us.

Will Ferrell: Adam, I never wanted...we never wanted to do this.

Adam McKay: We didn't want to do this. Neither of us wanted to do this. Must be about seven agents saying you gotta do this. Fu** it, I'll say it, I don't give a sh*t.

Will Ferrell: Yeah, I don't give a sh*t, either.

Adam McKay: And you come in fu**in' talking money? Two for two, two for two. Four for four.

Judd Apatow: Yeah.

Adam McKay: It's disgusting.

Judd Apatow: Well, you know what? You know why I don't need to do this? [Whispers] Two for two. Four for four.

Adam McKay: Fu**in' shut up! Get the fu*k outta here! Fu*k! Get the fu*k outta here.

Adam McKay: He fu*kin' played us. He wanted to make porno films.

Will Ferrell: Yeah. I have a feeling he's gonna force us to be in those movies. I gotta have some elaborate costume if I'm gonna do it.

Adam McKay: I'll be the third guy who enters and maybe you don't see my face. That's the most I'm gonna do.

Will Ferrell: If I'm gonna do it, you can show my face, but, just, maybe I'm being like, maybe it's a period piece.

Adam McKay: Um, so, anyway, Funny Or Die, uh, dot com, Judd Apatow has joined us. Uh, look for a lot of new material and...

Will Ferrell: A lot of new and interesting material, uh, from Judd.

Adam McKay: A lot of it hardcore porn, I guess.

Will Ferrell: Sounds like most of it will be in that vein. I hope you enjoy it.

Adam McKay: Okay, I'm gonna do my, do you mind cuttin' out of here, dude? Cuttin' out of here? I'm gonna masturbate real quick.

Will Ferrell: What?

Adam McKay: I was gonna masturbate real quick cause I gotta get back to the set in like, ten minutes. I'm a little stressed I just wanted to masturbate.

Will Ferrell: I don't think so. This is a four hundred thousand dollar couch.

Adam McKay: Is this really?

Will Ferrell: Yeah. It's half deer skin.

Adam McKay: It's incredible. Uh, I'll put newspapers on it, man. Won't be a problem. I mean, just real quick.

Will Ferrell: You're gonna go, okay, go get the newspapers then.

Adam McKay: All right, I lied. I wasn't gonna put any newspapers down.

Will Ferrell: I knew it as soon as you said that.

Adam McKay: Yeah, I...

Will Ferrell: You were just gonna...

Adam McKay: Come on, man! Just get outta here!

[Music Playing]

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