Shelly Pfefferman (Judith Light) gives some life advice of her own during a free... more »

Transcript

- So, hi.
My daughter, Sarah, thought that it would be
a very good idea for me to come and see you.
Why she's giving away therapy sessions, I have no idea
because, you know, she really, really needs it.
- First, I'm gonna say welcome to my office.
- Thank you very much.
(soft piano music)
- You alright?
- Oy, I'm so uncomfortable.
- I want you to make yourself comfortable.
- What the, what is this?
- Okay?
(lady roars)
That's a lion.
That's a lion.
- Why do you have this here?
- Well I like people to feel like
there's a little bit of everything in here and that--
- There's more than a little bit of everything.
- So that everybody can feel--
- You need a decorator.
See that sign that you have over there?
The best way to get something done is to begin.
- That's right.
- Begin redecorating.
- That's right.
- I want to say something to you about your outfit.
Because your outfit is a little distracting,
just like the rest of this room.
- I feel like you are very insulting.
You walk into my office.
This is my office.
I'm here to help you.
- It's my time!
I'm insulting, and it's my time.
- Who's the therapist in this room?
Me.
- I think I am.
- I think I am.
- [Both] I think I am.
- I think I could be a better life coach than you.
- I think I could be a better life coach than you.
(mocking each other)
- [Both] Oh my God!
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
I am mirroring to you that you,
oh don't do that bullshit with me.
- You never acknowledged me for what I just said.
I just said something to you, you bitch!
And you are not listening to me.
- I shoplift, I shoplift!
Do you want to hear something about me?
I shoplift.
- That's because you don't feel that you deserve things.
Have you been arrested at all for this?
- That's so inappropriate. So inappropriate.
- Well I asked you, have you been arrested?
- No, I'm good at it.
- How does that make you feel?
- Dirty and satisfied.
- Let me come over here to you.
You have some real issues.
It's cold in here.
Put this around you.
- What is, what, what, what?
We're here for you, we're here for you.
- No, but this is good.
- I stole this blanket.
I stole it from (mumbles).
- I don't know that store.
- I met Mike Forest, and I walked in the shop,
and then everybody came up to me and (speaking gibberish).
- Really, and did they arrest you?
- No they shared my cochran.
I fell and I cut my cram, my sister called me
a (speaking gibberish) and I started stealing.
I started stealing, stealing.
I can't stop stealing.
You're my own (speaking gibberish).
- It's okay.
It's alright.
Let me talk to you because I think
you're having a breakdown.
- I'm not having a breakdown.
- No, you are.
- I'm not having a breakdown.
- You're talking in crazy talk,
and you're having a breakdown.
- I'm just telling you--
- No, no, no, I'm gonna be your life coach.
I'm a very compassionate person
and I have worked on myself a great deal.
(therapist speaking gibberish)
I have, I have.
(therapist speaking gibberish)
I have, I have.
(therapist speaking gibberish)
Done it all.
(therapist speaking gibberish)
Absolutely.
Yes.
(therapist speaking gibberish)
No, have you?
- Yes.
- You have?
- That's part of the problem.
- That's why.
That's why you're upset.
So, you're upset.
So, here.
We're gonna do like this for a minute.
- I wanna rob banks.

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