In this animated holiday special Sarah Silverman recalls a pivotal thanksgiving in her childhood. Her father disagrees.
Published November 21, 2010 320k views More Info »
Full Credits
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Story by Sarah Silverman
Director: Sascha Ciezata
Producers: Sascha Ciezata, John Rota & Ryan Lewis
Stats & Data
5,962 Funny Votes
2,900 Die Votes
319,737 Views
Published: November 21, 2010
Transcript

[soft music]
[chop, dripping]
Sarah Silverman: I grew up in New Hampshire and,
um, we lived right next door
Sarah Silverman: to the farm, you know,
where everybody got their meat
Sarah Silverman: and their vegetables
and everything.
Sarah Silverman: So, when I was six,
my dad brought me
over there
Sarah Silverman: to pick out our
Thanksgiving turkey
Sarah Silverman: and the farmer, Vic,
told me to look
- at all the turkeys carefully
and choose the one I liked.
- [turkeys gobbling]
Sarah Silverman: I looked around and I'm, like,
checking them all out
Sarah Silverman: and they're so cute, you know,
they're like pecking at, uh, grain
Sarah Silverman: but it's like mixed
in with their [bleep].
Sarah Silverman: Like they [bleep],
they [bleep] where they eat.
Sarah Silverman: I found a cute one.
I found the cutest one
and he was like, waddling
Sarah Silverman: and he had personality, and,
uh, he kinda had a quirk
Sarah Silverman: almost like an
adorable tick.
Sarah Silverman: I pointed to him and I said
'that one, I want that one'
Sarah Silverman: and before my pointing
finger even dropped back
down to my side
Sarah Silverman: Mr. Villino had grabbed
the bird I chose and...
- [squawking]
- ...chopped his head off.
- [squawking]
- Just like that.
Sarah Silverman: Blood spraying out
of his neck hole
Sarah Silverman: the wings still flapping,
you know, making some
futile attempt
Sarah Silverman: to un-kill itself
or something.
Sarah Silverman: I had sentenced this turkey
to death at six years old.
Sarah Silverman: It was horrifying.
Sarah Silverman: You know, I don't think
it was the turkey's top five
favorite moments, either.
Sarah Silverman: So, my dad insists that he
has no recollection of this.
Donald Silverman: Sarah, as I recall, I took
you to Vic Villino's farm
Donald Silverman: because they were
gonna slaughter a cow.
Donald Silverman: You may wanna know
why I did it, I have no [bleep]
idea why I did it.
Donald Silverman: It was a beautiful fall
day near Thanksgiving.
Donald Silverman: The leaves were mostly all fall--
had fallen by now.
Donald Silverman: And, you watched as he
dragged the cow to be slaughtered.
Donald Silverman: You watched the
cow be slaughtered.
[mooing]
- [gun shot]
- Inside the cow
was a fetus
Donald Silverman: which they gave to the
biology class in Nashville
Donald Silverman: and you never
ate meat again.
Donald Silverman: It just made sense I
should do it at the time
Donald Silverman: and after I did it,
it didn't make any sense.
Donald Silverman: And that's pretty much the
story of the Thanksgiving cow.
Donald Silverman: As I really don't
totally remember it.
Sarah Silverman: I realized the true
meaning of Thanksgiving,
that the turkey we kill
Sarah Silverman: is a symbol of the
Native Americans we killed.
[gun shot]
Sarah Silverman: We're so grateful for
their farming techniques
that they taught us
Sarah Silverman: as we learned to
harvest our own food
on the land we took.
Sarah Silverman: We are giving thanks
for being American.
Sarah Silverman: God bless America, and its
greedy self-righteous heritage.
Sarah Silverman: Happy Thanksgiving
dummies!
[turkey gobbling]

Advertisement
Advertisement