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This is my theery bout whys strate mens hates the queer mens. Ya'll homafobagul.... more »
Published September 08, 2010 340 views More Info »
(car engine)
Son of a bitch.
Everytime I try to do one of these
there's a firecracker
or a gunshot
or a train rollin' by
and now there's a goddamn ca
pullin' out next door.
Can y'all hear that?
I reckon you can still hear me though.
My arm's itchin'.
Anyway, here's another thing-
I told y'all there's lots of things
that makes me confused-
(car engine)
(car engine)
This is what I was gonna say.
Hang on.
I am burnin' the fuck up in here.
I'm in my tool shed.
Y'all knowed I make this up by myself.
And I-
I wanna tell y'all somethin' else.
It's another thing I'm confused on.
I don't get it.
Why does straight men-
(quiet burp)
-man that was weak.
(loud burp)
Oh! Hey!
There I go!
I been belchin' alot
cause it's kindly like the middle of the month
and I start runnin' out of money
and I have to mix my beer up-
I mix it up in a pitcher and
pour it back in the bottle.
Listen at me!
-I mixed it up with some of that
sparkly Italian water.
I believe that might be how they make champagne.
I'm gonna have to go get me
another beer in a minute,
but I'll finish this up right quick.
I ain't got much more to say.
And this is directly to all the straight men out there
that just absolutely can't stand and hates gay men.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
That is the stupidest ass thing I ever heard of.
Now don't you see that all that means
is there's more pussy for you.
I mean, come on.
Here's the way I sees it.
When you take your girlfriend
and your wives some flowers,
who you think makes them beautiful arrangements for them?
And when you go to a restaurant
and you goin' out to eat,
who do you think waits on you?
If it's a man, you can guaran-damn-tee
it's a gay man or it's a metrosexuals,
and I'd much rather have a gay man waitin' on me
than a metrosexual
cause I think they sticks they dicks in everything.
I don't know what they actually do.
And then, let's see.
What all else is there?
Like y'alls weddings
and the weddings y'all don't want them gays to have...
When you decide to get married
and you want your fiance to be all happy and everything.
You know, she hires one of them wedding designers,
and when the wedding's over-
And they there...
They got them little headphones in they ears,
and they runnin' around.
They dressed all cuted-up and everything.
You know you got to shake hands with them, right?
Cause they did such a beautiful job
and your new wife's so happy.
Well now you know-
You know for a fact that them weddin' designers,
they probably done had like...
...a cater boy dick in they hand, right?
I mean, what's wrong with y'all?
You needs to just get over it,
cause here's what I think about that.
This is How I Seize It...
I think you homofobigul.
I said it.
I think..
...if the truth be known... homofobigul.
And, and, and...
And then they-
Who do y'all think teached y'all's
girlfriends and fiances and wives
how to suck dick right?
A cocksucker.
That's how!
You know, girls, they always-
In everybody's life, they's always a woman
who kinda falls in love a little bit with a gay man.
Cause gay man so purty and they nice
and they understand how they feel,
and all that kinda stuff,
and occasionally they wants to like, try it out...
And a gay man will let a woman suck his dick.
I knowed a man one time, he said,
"I ain't gay, but I will suck a dick."
I think y'all all got just a little-
Don't you fuss with me, by God!
-every one of you sumbitches
has got just a little bit of homosexual in you
and that's How I Seize It.