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One day, on my walk home, I came acrossed a really tough bear.   I could tell he was a tough bear because he was smoking a cigarette.
"Where do you think you're goin', huh?" enquired the bear.
"I'm going home," I said
"Oh, is that a fact?" the bear wanted to know.  He was very curious, for a tough bear that smoked a cigarette.
"Yes," said I, "I am going home."
"There's a toll to get by this way," the bear informed me.
"Oh my," said I "I was unaware.  I guess I'll take the long way home."
"Hmm," said the bear, "there's a toll that way too."
"Oh my," said I "I have no money to pay the toll."
"Oh, that's alright," said the bear, moving closer to me.  "It's not a money toll anyways."
"Oh, really," asked I.  "What can I pay with, if not with money?"
"You can pay me with food, if you want to pass," said the bear, stepping closer to me.
"That sounds like a good deal," said I, "but I'm afraid I have no food for you."
"That's okay," said the now very close to me bear, "to me YOU ARE FOOD!"  And then he ate me in one big bite, but that's okay the joke's on him.  Just before he ate me, I shit my pants.