Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Sean Penn

(show music plays)
Zach Galifianakis: Hello, my name is Seth
Galifianakis.
Zach Galifianakis: I'm filling in for my
brother, Zach, because he
Zach Galifianakis: couldn't be here today. He's at adult fat camp.
Zach Galifianakis: My guest is a famous actor,
Zach Galifianakis: humanitarian, please welcome
Sean Penn. Thank you Sean
Zach Galifianakis: for being on the show.
Sean Penn: You're very welcome.
Zach Galifianakis: Zach wrote something
here, I don't understand what he--
Zach Galifianakis: He says you have a twin brother
and he wanted me to say,
Zach Galifianakis: how's your brother, ballpoint?
Sean Penn: Hmmm.
Zach Galifianakis: Oh, that's funny! It's like
the guy's first name is
Zach Galifianakis: ballpoint and because your
last name is Penn.
Zach Galifianakis: I bet you get that a lot.
Like when people be like,
Zach Galifianakis: "You'd be funny if your name
was felt." or like Felt Penn.
Sean Penn: Mmm hmmm.
Zach Galifianakis: Your first name is
Sylvania?
Sean Penn: Yep.
Zach Galifianakis: Usually, I don't think my
brother's that much funny, but I
Zach Galifianakis: got to give him some credit
for that one. That's a pretty good spoof.
Sean Penn: Mmm hmmmm.
Zach Galifianakis: Who is the true movie star of
our time, right now?
Sean Penn: You know, I guess the one who
sort of has it all is--
Zach Galifianakis: Ryan Reynolds?
Sean Penn: --Jack Nicholson.
Hmm?
Zach Galifianakis: Ryan Reynolds?
Sean Penn: Ryan Reynolds is--
Zach Galifianakis: Van Wilder.
Sean Penn: Yeah, I saw him in something.
Zach Galifianakis: Jack Nicholson is, uh, he's that
crazy guy that sits at The
Zach Galifianakis: Lakers games. You hang out with him?
Sean Penn: Sometimes.
Zach Galifianakis: Where do you guys like to
eat? Do you all go to Long
Zach Galifianakis: John Silver's or something
fancy like that?
Zach Galifianakis: It'd be fun if maybe you and
I and Jack Nicklaus went to
Zach Galifianakis: dinner and stuff and I could
tell him some of my movie ideas.
Sean Penn: Uh huh.
Zach Galifianakis: I have a pug and, my pug, his
name is Funions.
Zach Galifianakis: I made this captain's hat for
him and I put it right on his
Zach Galifianakis: head and he's crazy looking.
It's like that guy, Funions,
Zach Galifianakis: he needs to be in the movies.
He's got a captain's hat on
Zach Galifianakis: him and, you know, you just
take the dog and put him in a
Zach Galifianakis: movie and he'd be like a taxi
driver or something like that.
Zach Galifianakis: People will be like, why is
there a pug with a captain's
Zach Galifianakis: hat being a taxi driver in
New York City.
Sean Penn: You may have something there.
Zach Galifianakis: I'll tell ya something right now.
Zach Galifianakis: I know you're playing with me.
Sean Penn: No, I'm trying, to be honest,
I'm just trying to protect,
Sean Penn: cause I know this southern
kind of hospitality is invasive.
v Zach Galifianakis: Let me tell you something,
this country boy right here is
Zach Galifianakis: not really intimidated. I'll follow you home tonight.
Sean Penn: I'll knock you the fuck out,
right in your chair.
Zach Galifianakis: Real interested in the work
you've been doing down in Haiti.
Zach Galifianakis: Tell us a little bit about
that.
Sean Penn: Well after...
Zach Galifianakis: Is there a Six Flags down
there?
Sean Penn: There's not. No.
Zach Galifianakis: We can move on.
Zach Galifianakis: Oh, I forget. This segment is brought to you by Mennen.
Zach Galifianakis: Speed Stick by Mennen. You put it under your arms.
Zach Galifianakis: It makes you feel real good at night and during the day.
Zach Galifianakis: You just kind of have this fresh start.
Zach Galifianakis: Much like America is doing. Oscar night must be so much fun.
Zach Galifianakis: You must love, I mean, that's the whole reason to get into
Zach Galifianakis: acting is so you can get all dolled up and go out on the
Zach Galifianakis: red carpet and get to talk to people, and people like wanting to
Zach Galifianakis: know all about your life and stuff.
Sean Penn: Well, I think you can get
tired very fast of hearing
Sean Penn: about yourself and talking
about yourself.
Zach Galifianakis: Really? I don't think. I
mean, one time, this guy was
Zach Galifianakis: like, I want to interview you
for the local paper and I was
Zach Galifianakis: like, "What?" He was like,
"What?" And I'm like, "What?"
Zach Galifianakis: He was interviewing me
because my mailbox got
Zach Galifianakis: knocked down in my hometown.
I was like, why does he care?
Zach Galifianakis: I was like, "What?" And then
he's like, "Let's do a story on it."
Zach Galifianakis: And I just loved it. I loved that
the guy came over and wanted to talk
Zach Galifianakis: to me about my story and my
life and I didn't get tired
Zach Galifianakis: of it at all.
I really didn't.
(show music is playing)