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Jerry O’Connell is dressed in a black outfit, with his hair styled and stubble grown in, to resemble Tom Cruise as he appeared in an interview about Scientology. The room Jerry O’Connell is in is also set up to look like the room Tom Cruise was interviewed in.

Jerry O’Connell: It is an honor to be an actor. It’s a privilege to be an actor. You can just know that someone is an actor just by looking at he or she because actors are usually not working.

There is a sound like a camera click and a yellow “flash” to indicate a break, as though a new question was being answered.

Jerry O’Connell: It is a privilege to be an actor because you know that you really are of no help to anyone.

Jerry O’Connell: Ha ha ha ha. (Manic laughter.)

Jerry O’Connell: I wish I could go on vacation. I wish I could just go and romp, like everyone else. But I can’t, right now, because I am broke.

Jerry O’Connell: For me, it’s all about KFC. It’s just good chicken. PYT: pretty young thing. WAYATW: Why are you acting this way?

Jerry O’Connell: Ha ha ha. (More manic laughter and hand clapping.)

Jerry O’Connell: As an actor, when you drive past an accident and you see it, don’t do anything, because you don’t want to be involved with insurance and any sort of litigation.

Jerry O’Connell: The rabbit walks over to this tree and sees that there’s all this fruit on it and is going to go eat one of the apples. And then, what happens is, the elephant comes over and goes, “Hey, Mr. Rabbit, don’t eat those apples.”

Jerry O’Connell: I’ve traveled all over Los Angeles. From Santa Monica to Van Nuys, Encino, the Valley proper, and you meet people in convenience stores; the leaders of these convenience stores. You look at them and you ask, is this a public, are patrons allowed to use this restroom. And they know, they know.

Jerry O’Connell: (More manic laughter and hand clapping.) Ha ha ha. And then he says: the aristrocrats! (Manic laughter) Ha ha ha.

Jerry O’Connell: (Makes multiple movements with his hands to indicate something is amazing or over the top.) Phew. Phew. Phew.

Jerry O’Connell: Now is the time to help the Writers Guild of America. Now is the time and, if you don’t know how to help them, then learn how to help them.

Jerry O’Connell: They don’t come up to me, not up to my face, but in back of me, yeah, a lot they make fun of me behind my back because I can hear them. On the internet, chat rooms, message boards, they do a lot, but never to my face. Uh-uh.