You may think that I’m ugly, but I was simply made in my creator’s image.

Was your creator also incredibly ugly?

No. But he was blind and armless, so that may explain why he did such a shitty job on building me.

And where is your creator now?

He went on a vacation to Mars after winning the Ugliest Man on earth contest. Though Mars had yet to be colonized, so it wasn’t so much a vacation as it was an exile or death sentence.

And with him long dead, I guess you’re now the ugliest thing on earth.

Why’re you so fixated on my ugliness?

I figure if I can lower your self esteem, you’ll eventually be emotionally vulnerable enough to let me fuck you.

I don’t want any goddamn Robot Babies. I’d only do you if you used a robot condom.

Don’t worry about robot condoms, babe. My creator not only built me to be gorgeous, he also programmed me to Pull out.