Chris Klein: More Leaked Auditions

Actor

Chris Klein

Writer & Director

lauren

Producer

Funny Or Die

Make Up Artist

Kat Bardot

Additional Credits [+]

Old embed code (only works with browsers that support Adobe Flash)

The video opens with Chris Klein during an audition. He is standing alone and being filmed.



Chris Klein: You guys had Bill Paxton in here earlier, right? My God,
he's king of kings. This guy's a pimp among prostitutes. He's the kind
of guy I want to be my dad, you know what I mean? I mean like be my dad.
Sit me down. Tell me to put money in my 401k and teach my how babies
are born, you know what I saying? Is there a part for a dad in this? I
didn't get to read the whole script. If there is, he's your man. That
guy's brilliant. Anyways, can we get going? Are we ready? Okay.



Woman's voice (offscreen): Slate your name.



Chris Klein: Slate here. (pointing at the camera) My name is Chris
Klein, reading for twilight. Bella, I only said that it'd be better if
we weren't friends, not that I didn't want to be.



The shot cuts to a different audition.



Chris Klein: Hey, I don't her, but I saw Molly Ringwald at Starbucks.
And, I mean, she's ready for comeback, right? She would be great in
this. You should see her. This is Chris Klein, for Dreamgirls. (singing,
kind of) Yo, we're your dreamgirls boys, we're your dreamgirls.



The shot cuts to a different audition.



Chris Klein jumps up.



Chris Klein: MacGruber! My name is Chris Klein and I'm reading for this
part! MacGruber! I know it's Will Forte's character but I can do it
better! MacGruber!



The shot cuts to Chris Klein in motion capture bodysuit that has blue ears on the helmet.



Chris Klein: I'm just saying Jeff Goldblum has the perfect face and body for an avatar. You should hire him.



The shot cuts to Chris Klein holding a cup.



Christ Klein: I drink your milkshake. I don't know. I'm really not feeling it. Can we get strawberry?



The shot cuts to a different audition.



Chris Klein: Do you guys know Brendan Fraser? Oh, he's such a peach. You should have him in here.



The shot cuts to another audition.



Chris Klein: I see you have a piano there, but I brought my own people. Guys.



A Mariachi guitarist and trumpet player come into the shot. They begin
to play La Cucaracha while Chris Klein puts on a sombrero and and begins
to dance. The shot cuts to a different audition.



Chris Klein: Do you guys want some ABBA? Because I do a great ABBA number.



The shot cuts to Chris Klein in a Dodgers hoodie.



Chris Klein: I met Tommy Lasorda yesterday. Have you guys met Tommy?



The shot cuts back to Chris Klein holding the cup.



Chris Klein: I really think we should sing this line.



The shot cuts to Chris Klein in front of a green screen pretending he is a shark. The shot cuts to a different audition.



Chris Klein: You guys ever work with Kevin Kline? Yeah! I'd love to meet that guy.



The shot cuts back to Chris Klein in front of the green screen.



Chris Klein: There's this guy at the Chevron done on Pico that looks just like Axl Rose.



The shot cuts to a different audition.



Chris Klein: I want Bill Paxton to be my dad.



The shot cuts back to Chris Klein dancing to the mariachi musicians. The
shot cuts back to Chris Klein in the motion capture suit.



Chris Klein: This is Chris Klein for avatar.



The shot cuts to Chris Klein crouching on the floor.



Chris Klein (singing): I'm your avatar.



The shot cuts to Chris Klein in the Dodgers hoodie.



Chris Klein (singing): I wish I knew how to quit you.



The shot cuts back to Chris Klein dancing to the mariachi musicians. The
shot cuts back to Chris Klein in front of the green screen.



Woman's voice (offscreen): Okay, thanks Chris, we got it.



Chris Klein: Great. Great. Thanks for having me in. Oh!



Chris Klein reaches into his pocket.



Chris Klein: I wanted to give you some business cards. I also do birthdays, bar mitzvahs...



Woman's Voice (offscreen): Thanks.



Chris Klein: ...weddings, funerals, whatever you need.



Woman's Voice (offscreen): Okay.



Chris Klein: Thanks.



Woman's Voice (offscreen): Thank you.



Chris Klein: Oh, hey, do you have Mandy Moore's phone number?