"Do The Donald" Starring Tom Green (Official Music Video)
First Lady Michelle Obama teams up with Big Bird to play Billy Eichner’s most politically significant quiz game yet, “Ariana Grande or Eating a Carrot?”!
- February 16, 2015
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February 16, 2015
Billy Eichner: Hey guys, it's Billy
Eichner from Billy on the Street.
Billy Eichner: I'm here in a grocery
store in Washington, D.C. ready to play
Billy Eichner: My new favorite game
Ariana Grande or Eating a Carrot.
Billy Eichner: Let's play.
Billy Eichner: Hey guys, it's Billy from Billy on the street,
and I'm here in a grocery store
Billy Eichner: In Washington, D.C. ready to play one of
my new favorite games, and we have
Billy Eichner: some incredible, truly incredible
Billy Eichner: My first contestant, it is beyond
my wildest dreams truly, that she would
Billy Eichner: be a contestant on my show. Please welcome for
the first time on Billy on the Street
Billy Eichner: the First Lady of the United States
of America, Michelle Obama.
Billy Eichner: How are you Mrs. Obama?
Michelle Obama: I'm great Billy.
Billy Eichner: Are you doing well?
Michelle Obama: Yeah, I'm doing great.
Billy Eichner: Okay, me too. Now there's so much I can ask
you, but I'm a pop culture
Billy Eichner: guy as you know, and I'm just wondering,
you know, you come home from
Billy Eichner: a long day, you and your husband have
such busy lives to the say the least...
Michelle Obama: It's really busy.
Billy Eichner: It's very busy right. he's the leader
of the free world, you're the first lady.
Billy Eichner: Now have you ever come home...are
there any TV shows that you guys like to watch
Billy Eichner: together, like, does he ever come
home and you say, oh good you're here,
Billy Eichner: I just DVR'd hot in Cleveland?
Anything like that?
Michelle Obama: There are some shows like that. A lot of
Sportscenter going on in our house.
- Billy: Oh, wow, ESPN.
- Michelle: If I want to talk
Michelle Obama: to him I gotta know a little bit
about football so--
Billy Eichner: Oh, I got it.
Michelle Obama: --basketball or whatever it is.
Billy Eichner: Remember that movie Hoosiers with Gean Hackman?
Michelle: Uh, sort of.
Billy: Come out of retirement!
Billy Eichner: He was such a good actor.
Michelle Obama: He's a great actor...
Billy Eichner: Okay First Lady, now it's time to
introduce to you our other contestant,
Billy Eichner: today. Again it's hard to top Mrs. Obama
but he is a showbiz legend, please welcome,
Billy Eichner: here to face off against Mrs. Obama
in our game, our other contestant
Billy Eichner: the legendary Big Bird. how are you
Big Bird: Well I'm great. It's so great to be here
Billy in a supermarket. It's wonderful.
Billy Eichner: Yes, I love a grocery store, don't you?
Big Bird: I do. This is much bigger than Mr. Hooper's
store (he giggles).
Billy: That's true.
Big Bird: Yeah.
Billy Eichner: Anyway, Big Bird you are huge. I'm
not used to having to look up at people,
Billy Eichner: because I'm very tall. You're like
Jane Lynch. You're enormous.
Big Bird: I-I am a Big Bird.
Billy Eichner: Okay, we are here for a very important
reason. As we all know other than
Billy Eichner: texting funny gifs one of the First
Lady's priorities has been to raise
Billy Eichner: awareness of healthy eating and
exercise for young kids and parents alike.
Billy Eichner: So Mrs. Obama if you can, tell us,
what is eat brighter about?
Michelle Obama: We've got the Sesame Street friends,
like Big Bird teaming up with the produce
Michelle Obama: industry to try and help make eating
fruits and vegetables fun and exciting for
Michelle Obama: kids and their parents.
- Billy: I love vegetables.
- Michelle: Me too.
Billy Eichner: We're bribing kids to eat fruit.
Michelle Obama: With Big Bird. It's good for them.
Billy Eichner: It is very good for them, and now it's
time to introduce to you
Billy Eichner: Our other contestant today. One of
our fan favorites from Billy on the Street.
Billy Eichner: I once ambushed her on the streets
of New York and now we've brought her back to the
Billy Eichner: show a number of times, but here's
the thing. She has absolutely no idea, I swear
Billy Eichner: that she is about to meet the First
Lady and Big Bird...did I just poke you
Billy Eichner: in the hand or something?
Michelle Obama: It's okay, but watch it, you could get shot.
Billy Eichner: Oh okay, oh my God. This is so much fun.
Billy Eichner: Fruits and vegetables, I could die at any moment.
Billy Eichner: So here she I please welcome, again,
she has no idea she's about to meet the
Billy Eichner: First Lady or Big Bird, she's in a blindfold.
Billy Eichner: Please welcome our next contestant Elena.
Billy Eichner: Okay, here we go Elena. Come in Elena,
I'm right here, take my hand, there we go.
(Elena is talking off mic)
- Billy: What was that?
Elena: I don't trust you to lead me down the right path.
Billy Eichner: Elena this is a very exciting day.
Now do you know what's about to happen?
Billy Eichner: Okay, do you know who you're going to compete against?
Billy Eichner: Okay, here we go Elena...first of all how are you?
Elena: Fine thanks. How are you now that you're Mr. Hollywood?
Billy Eichner: I'm not Mr. Hollywood. This is not
the time...I heard you got a computer though
Billy Eichner: for the first time.
Elena: No, it's an iPad.
Billy Eichner: Oh, excuse me fancy pants.
Elena: What? (she giggles)
Billy: You can carry
Billy Eichner: that everywhere can't you Elena?
Elena: Yes, but I don't.
Billy Eichner: Okay perfect. Okay, Elena on the count
of 3 I want you to remove your blindfold,
Billy Eichner: and meet your competitors. 1, 2, 3.
Billy Eichner: Elena please meet the first lady of
the united states Michelle Obama.
- Michelle: Hello Elena how are you?
- Elena It's nice to meet you.
Billy Eichner: Michelle Obama Elena.
Elena: No it isn't.
- Billy: This is Michelle Obama.
- Michelle: You're not Elena?
- Elena: I'm Elena but you're--
- Michelle: I'm Michelle Obama.
Elena: I'm going to faint, I-I just can't believe...
this is the best day of my life.
Billy Eichner: Oh that's so nice. please don't faint.
I do a segment on healthy eating, Elena dies.
Elena: No, I have high blood pressure.
Billy Eichner: Okay, perfect, wonderful. Eat a vegetable.
Elena: You're not like an actress that's being Michelle Obama?
Billy Eichner: No, this is the actual First Lady. Don't
embarrass me here.
- Elena: Really, Billy?
- Billy: Yes, Elena.
Michelle Obama: I know it seems kind of strange.
Billy Eichner: Look we don't have much time. We're
about to play a game here.
Billy Eichner: Elena, take your buzzer. there we go.
Billy Eichner: Big Bird you already have your buzzer.
Elena: I can't believe this.
Billy: It's happening.
Elena: I love Michelle Obama. remember I told you I love
her more than anyone?
Billy Eichner: Yes, I know, that's why we brought you here.
Elena: You said she'd be thrilled.
Billy Eichner: Yes, and she is thrilled.
Elena: I am thrilled.
Michelle Obama: You would've never thought that you
would meet me in a grocery store with Big Bird.
Elena: No. I've never even been in a super marker for about ten years.
Billy Eichner: Okay, here we go. Now listen up guys.
Billy Eichner: Here's how the game is going to work.
I'm going to ask you a series of questions
Billy Eichner: all about healthy eating and exercise.
If you get a question right you get a point.
Billy Eichner: You understand?
Michelle Obama: Okay.
Billy Eichner: Do you understand Big Bird?
Big Bird: I got it.
- Billy: Understand Elena?
- Elena: Yes.
Billy Eichner: Okay, here we go.
Billy Eichner: Which is better, Ariana Grande, or
eating a carrot at a--
Billy Eichner: We didn't start!
(he sighs loudly)
- Elena: Okay.
- Billy: Okay.
Billy Eichner: And away we go. Which is better,
Ariana Grande, or eating a carrot?
Billy Eichner: Flotus.
Michelle Obama: Eating a carrot.
Billy Eichner: Yes, correct. Flotus gets the point.
Billy Eichner: Next question. Gwyneth Paltrow makes
a fantastic broccoli and arugula soup.
Billy Eichner: Does that matter, yes or no?
Billy Eichner: Elena?
Billy Eichner: Yes it does. She has a website.
Billy Eichner: Who's more deserving of a Kennedy
center honor Martin Short or a box of frozen corn?
Billy Eichner: Uh, Flotus.
- Michelle: The corn.
- Billy: No, Martin Short.
He's a genius. He played Ed Grimley. Right Elena?
Elena: He is funny.
Billy Eichner: He is funny. Even Elena likes him.
- Michelle: I like corn.
- Billy: Corn is delicious.
- Elena: Canada.
- Billy: What?
Elena: I think he's from Canada.
Billy Eichner: He is. What does that have to do
Elena: I don't know.
Billy Eichner: Next question. Did you guys know
that Ted Danson is on CSI?
Billy Eichner: Elena.
- Elena: No.
- Billy: Yes, correct.
Billy Eichner: One more question. Who just signed
on to start headlining a show in Las Vegas,
Billy Eichner: One Direction, Mariah Carey, or an
occasional potato chip?
Billy Eichner: Who is it?
- Billy: Elena?
- Elena: Mariah Carey.
Billy Eichner: Yes, yes, Mariah Carey. Elena gets
a point. Thank you Elena.
Elena: I like One Direction though. They're so cute.
Billy Eichner: Yes, they're adorable.
Elena: They are cute. I'm sorry, they're a little young--
- Billy: Yeah, I would say.
- Elena: But they are cute.
Michelle Obama: They are very cute.
Elena: And I wish they didn't have tattoos.
Billy Eichner: Ok here's how this is going to work.
This is the bonus Flotus round.
Billy Eichner: You're just here for emotional support.
- Elena: Oh.
- Billy: Okay, so this is how the
Billy Eichner: bonus Flotus round is going to work.
I'm going to give you a series of quick
Billy Eichner: questions and physical challenges.
For every one you get right, you get a dollar,
Billy Eichner: and if you get enough right you win
another huge prize. You ready Flotus?
Michelle Obama: I'm ready!
Billy Eichner: Ok, Elena how are you?
Elena: Fine thanks.
Billy Eichner: And away, we, go. for a dollar be
honest, who's hotter Abraham Lincoln
Billy Eichner: or Barack Obama?
- Michelle: Oh, Barack Obama.
- Billy: Sorry, it's Abraham Lincoln.
Billy Eichner: It all goes by my opinion. By the way
you're very offensive to Mary Todd.
Billy Eichner: Next question. Slow dance with Big Bird
while I sing "I don't want to miss a thing".
Billy Eichner: Just right here, here we go. Ready you guys?
Billy Eichner: (he sings)
I don't wanna close my eyes
Billy Eichner: I don't wanna fall asleep
Billy Eichner: 'cause I'd miss you baby
Billy Eichner: and I don't wanna miss a thing
Billy Eichner: and even when I dream of you
Billy Eichner: the sweetest dream would never do
Billy Eichner: I'd still miss you baby
Billy Eichner: and I don't wanna miss a thing
Billy Eichner: Okay perfect. There you go. Perfect.
Did you like that Elena?
Elena: Sort of.
Billy Eichner: Next question. Here we go. For a
dollar do you like the idea of an all
Billy Eichner: female Ghostbusters?
- Michelle: Sure.
- Billy: Yes, yes, correct. you win.
Billy Eichner: Next question. For a dollar, I'm
going to put 10 seconds on the clock...
Billy Eichner: Hide! Go and hide anywhere.
Billy Eichner: Really hide.
Billy Eichner: Hide, oh right behind Big Bird.
Okay, that'll work.
Billy Eichner: Well I can still see you. hide
Billy Eichner: Hide somewhere else. Anywhere, anywhere.
Billy Eichner: Anywhere yes. Yes-yes-go, yeah
behind there, behind there.
Billy Eichner: Yes, yes, hiding, hiding. She's hiding.
Okay yes, come out.
Billy Eichner: Come out. You won. You got the dollar.
Come back. Come back, Flotus.
Billy Eichner: Here we go. Come back, Flotus.
Okay, here we go.
Billy Eichner: That's my favorite movie, come
Billy Eichner: Okay, here we go. Okay next, for a
dollar look into the camera and say I am Groot.
Billy Eichner: It's from Guardians of the Galaxy.
Michelle Obama: I am Groot.
Billy Eichner: Yes correct, yes correct. A few more
questions - here we go.
Billy Eichner: Bonus Flotus, here go, okay.
Billy Eichner: Next question. Name the 4 main
characters from the Facts of Life.
Billy Eichner: Can you do that?
Michelle Obama: Trudy.
Billy Eichner: Not trudy, but...
Big Bird: Tootie.
- Big Bird: Tootie.
- Billy: Tootie, yes. yes, Tootie. Big Bird loves Tootie.
Michelle Obama: Uh, who is Mrs. Garret.
Billy Eichner: Mrs. Garret, yes.
- Michelle: And uh, oh gosh--
- Billy: Can you give me one more?
- Big Bird: Was it Joe?
Billy: Joe, yes!
Billy Eichner: That's right Big Bird.
Billy Eichner: Alright fine I'll give it to you. It's not Blair but that's ok.
Elena: What is the Facts of Life?
- Billy: It was a sitcom.
- Elena: Oh.
Billy Eichner: Nancy McKeon. What was that Big Bird?
Big Bird: I said you take the good, you take the bad.
Billy Eichner: Take it all, and there you have it.
The Facts of Life.
Billy Eichner: Next question. For a dollar, we're
on the move now,
Billy Eichner: for a dollar, you're going to push
me around in a shopping cart while
Billy Eichner: I read Gwyneth Paltrow's Oscar
acceptance speech for Shakespeare in Love.
Billy Eichner: Lets go. Elena you stay here.
Big Bird you stay here. Here we go, Flotus,
Billy Eichner: follow me.
Billy Eichner: Follow me Flotus.
Billy Eichner: Flotus follow me. You almost tripped.
Billy Eichner: Okay Flotus, hold on, let me get in the cart.
Billy Eichner: Let me get in the cart.
Billy Eichner: This must be the highlight of your career Flotus.
Michelle Obama: This is it.
Billy Eichner: Ok, here we go, hold on, you're going to push me while I read Gwyneth Paltrow's acceptance speech.
Billy Eichner: And away, we, go.
Billy Eichner: I would like to thank the academy from the bottom of my heart.
Billy Eichner: I would like to thank our miraculous cast and crew.
Billy Eichner: I would like to thank Donna Gigliotti and David Parfitt--
Billy Eichner: Stop, stop, stop...Stop, I didn't
even get to thank her earthly guardian angel, Mary Wigmore.
Billy Eichner: No stop, stop, stop...
Billy Eichner: Okay, that's good.
Billy Eichner: She did great Elena.
Elena: I knew it, but you were in the cart?
Billy Eichner: Okay, final question, for a dollar,
give me a hug in a knowing look that tells
Billy Eichner: me it's all going to be okay.
Billy Eichner: Oh, thank you so much. Thank you.
Billy Eichner: Flotus wins!
Billy Eichner: Flotus wins the game!
Billy Eichner: Sorry Elena, let's see her prize.
Oh it's a huge picture of Ariana Grande's pony tail.
Billy Eichner: Look at that, that's so beautiful.
She's very talented.
Billy Eichner: Oh yes she is.
- Billy: She can really sing.
- Michelle: She can, and
Michelle Obama: that pony tail is pretty nice.
Billy Eichner: Yes that is a gorgeous pony tail. Would you like that pony tail?
Elena: It's fake.
Billy Eichner: Okay, great. Alright, well thank
you very much. Thank you for being here. alright,
Billy Eichner: That's Ariana Grande or Eating a Carrot.
Billy Eichner: That's Billy on the Street. We'll
see you soon. Bye guys!
Big Bird and Michelle: Bye!
Billy Eichner: Eat brighter.
Michelle Obama: Eat your vegetables.
Elena: Well you can eat lots of other stuff too.
Billy Eichner: Okay, great, thank you.
(thunder is heard)
Billy Eichner: Ok guys, it's Billy, now I'm here
with Big Bird in New York City.
Billy Eichner: I'm out here in a coat, he's wearing
a tie, because we're about to talk to people
Billy Eichner: about healthy eating. You ready Big Bird?
Big Bird: I'm ready Billy.
Billy Eichner: Lets do it Big Bird. Let's go.
Big Bird: Lets go.
Billy Eichner: Miss for a dollar is Stara Burch
the name of a bird?
Lady: I don't think so.
Billy Eichner: Correct, there you go. Do you eat vegetables?
- Duh, yeah.
- Billy: Okay.
- Lady: What's up?
- Billy: Nothing.
Lady: You can't stand there with Big Bird behind you and not let me hug Big Bird.
Billy Eichner: I can do whatever I want, you're
not touching the bird.
Billy Eichner: Miss-Miss, do you eat fruit?
- Lady: Yes, I do.
- Billy: What kind of fruit do you eat?
- Lady: Fruity Loops.
- Billy: That's not a fruit, that's cereal.
Billy Eichner: What if it's an avocado that looks
like Emily Blunt? Huh?
Lady: I don't know what to tell you--
Billy Eichner: Oh, come on. sir, Does an Apple
TV count as a fruit?
Billy: Yes-yes, take it. thank you.
Billy Eichner: Lets go Big Bird.
- Billy: Lets go Big Bird!
- Big Bird: I'm coming Billy.
- Billy: Lets go Big Bird!
- Big Bird: You're very fast.
Billy Eichner: Miss, would your child prefer the
strawberries with Elmo or the
Billy Eichner: strawberries J.K. Simmons.
Billy Eichner: Yes, thank you. Miss, which one
would a child prefer, the blackberries with
Billy Eichner: Ernie's face on it or the blackberries
with Laura Dern?
- Lady: Ernie.
- Billy: Yes. Lets go Big Bird.
Billy Eichner: Sir, for a carrot are you giving the
Jonas credit where credit is due?
Man: (laughs) Yes, all the time.
Billy Eichner: Yes, there you go, take your carrot.
Yes, he won a carrot Big Bird.
Big Bird: Oh that's exciting.
Billy Eichner: Yes. sir, what are you eating?
Man: Eggs and bacon.
Billy Eichner: Noo!
Billy Eichner: Sir, for a dollar do you think
Big Bird has seen Birdman?
Man: Um, he looks pretty intelligent, maybe.
Billy Eichner: No he hasn't. He's a child.
- Big Bird: Yeah, I'm six years old.
- Billy: You think Big Bird
cares that Edward
Billy Eichner: Norton is having a moment?