Nadia Styles: Hello there, we're porn stars.
Mercedes Carrera: On the internet.
Nina Elle: Happy Valentines Day.
Mercedes Carrera: Here's 5 reasons we hate Fifty
Shades of Grey.
Nadia Styles: Number one:
Mercedes Carrera: It's just cliche male dominate
female submissive.
Nadia Styles: Snooze fest.
Nina Elle: Boring.
Nadia Styles: Old hat.
Nina Elle: That's like the most lame
type of porn.
Mercedes Carrera: If you want something less
antiquated and misogynistic,
Nadia Styles: and more empowering
to the female?
Nina Elle: You can search any one of
these porn categories.
Mercedes Carrera: Number 2:
Nadia Styles: Movie tickets are expensive.
Mercedes Carrera: Why would you spend $15 dollars
to watch simulated sex,
Nadia Styles: when you could just pause
this video and
Nina Elle: type my name into google
Mercedes Carrera: and watch everything they pretend
to do for free?
Nadia Styles: For free.
Nina Elle: Probably with better dialogue too.
Mercedes Carrera: Which brings us to number 3:
Nadia Styles: That shit is poorly written.
Nina Elle: Poorly written.
Nadia Styles: It's an insult to
pornography.
Nina Elle: Here's a terrible line from the book:
Mercedes Carrera: 2 orgasms, coming apart at the seams, like a
spin cycle on a washing machine.
Mercedes Carrera: Wow.
Nadia Styles: That sounds terrifying.
Nina Elle: E. L. James simile game is week.
Nadia Styles: Number 4:
Mercedes Carrera: It's not going to be
sexy at all.
Nina Elle: Do you think they can show
you something sexy,
Mercedes Carrera: in the same theater they're showing
sponge bob square pants?
Nadia Styles: Don't you want to
see everything?
Mercedes Carrera: It's 2015.
Nadia Styles: Where's the dick?
Mercedes Carrera: Where's the dick?
Nina Elle: Where's the dick?
Mercedes Carrera: Here's what sex will look
like in a movie.
(she imitates sexual sounds)
Nina Elle: Oh yes, thank you.
Nina Elle: Bullshit like that.
Together: Here's what sex on camera
actually looks like.
Hey, are you blurring this out?
This is the internet.
Why are you doing that?
Nadia Styles: If you're embarrassed to watch porn,
Mercedes Carrera: and you're not embarrassed to wait in line
for Fifty Shades of Grey,
Nina Elle: that's crazy.
Nadia Styles: Watch porn.
Nina Elle: Watch porn.
Mercedes Carrera: Just watch porn.
Nadia Styles: Number 5:
Nina Elle: Support independent cinema,
Mercedes Carrera: and give your $15 dollars to the artistic and
monumental film making achievement
Mercedes Carrera: that is boyhood.
Nadia Styles: Boyhood.
Nina Elle: Boyhood.
Mercedes Carrera: It's one family, but it's all
of our stories.
Nina Elle: It's all of our stories.
Nadia Styles: All of our stories.
Nina Elle: Alright let's (bleep).
