Blenn Geck: I can't tell you how thrilled I am to have been given a PhD by such a fine, well respected, Christian, non-Communist, Socialist, Marxist, Nazi commission of higher learning. It brings tears to my eyes. *sniff sniff*
You know, when I was young, I was poor. I was born in a manger wrapped in swaddling clothes. My parents couldn't even find room at the inn. *boo hoo hoo* The liberals tried to nail me to a cross, but I held them off with my AK-47. A few of them chased me to the sea, but God parted it, allowing me to safely cross, then drowned my pursuers when he let the waters flowed back and covered them.
I was able to make it to a college, but I had spent so much on ammo that I only had money for one semester. I worked hard and educated myself, though, reading every book my Klan buddies had. I was offered an honorary membership in the John Birch society where I read even more. Never let it be said that you can't educate yourself on the important things in life.
I hold myself up to you as a shining example of what it is to be an American. I'm like a voice crying in the wilderness just hoping there's someone listening. *snif* If you have the determination, you can acheive anything.