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Yall knows how in middle of the munths I run outta munny? Well hears whut happen last... more »
Published November 22, 2010 190 views More Info »
I am pissed!
and I can't forget what it was,
but it's just like right there...
Oh, goddamnit!
(stomps foot)
I'm uh...
I'm not doin' too good.
I am Loretta Jenkins
and you're comin' to another episode
of How I Shhheize It-
I sound like Carol Channing...
'How I Shhheize It!'
I needed some money,
so I signed up for this experiment
at the community college,
and it's for, uh...
It's for...
They wake you up.
Stay awake? Uhh...
It's a long 50 cent word-
I don't like that singer 50 Cent,
cause he acts like an asshole
and I normally like black folk.
So, I been asleep for like...
I got sued for that once,
but it didn't have nothin' to do with sleepin'.
It was for like four days or somethin'
and now it's over,
but I'm just tryin' to get
the world record without no sleep.
I mean how hard is it
to stay awake?
And you know what?
They told me I wasn't supposed to drink...
But fuck they only gimme $20.
And it was at a college
and fuck, on my way home,
I seen a Beer Bust.
This preppy mother fucker told me
I couldn't come in cause I was too old.
Well, he musta liked a MILF
cause he told me I could come in
iffin' I gived him a blowjob.
I rared back at him and I said,
"What kind of woman do you think I am?"
So, I blowed that ungrateful mother fucker,
and then I busted him right in the mouth!
It knock his front teeth out.
He look like a reverse beaver.
I ain't bluffin' with that muffin.
Yeah, junior.
Let daddy fix that!
Another one?
Shit, I...
I need a new beer.
I...I don't like them voices.
Shit, I don't rememeber what happened
for the next of the night
cause I had a blackout...
But somebody said a speaker fell on my head-
Somebody wrote they name on my arm...
Shit, I hope that's a dude.

Fuck I'm tired...
(Instant Message beep)
Somethin' from one of my young viewers...
(Instant Message beep)
Stand up?
What the fuck I gotta stand up-
Where's my shirt?
Y'all seen what I done with my shirt?

(Instant Message beep)
Shit. Y'all ain't good at this.
Oh yeah!
Shout out to Doobie's Berry Dip.
That shit is good.
And that's How I Seize It.