Blue Man Group: Before They Were Stars

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Blue Man Group

Director

Drew Antzis

Writer

Seth Morris

Actor

Josh Simpson

Cinematographer

christiansprenger

Make Up Artist

Shauna O'Toole

Executive Producer

Funny Or Die

Sound

BoTown Sound

Additional Credits [+]

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The video opens with an exterior shot of a restaurant. The shot cross
fades to an interior shot of three employees in a break-room. The
manager, played by Ian Gomez, is speaking to two underlings, played by
Josh Simpson and Marisa Pinson.



Ian Gomez: Okay, okay. Most famous people ever to work here?



Marisa Pinson: It was the kid who slept with the teacher.



Josh Simpson: No way. It was the chic who get caught on security cam peeing in the coffee pot.



Ian Gomez: You are both wrong. The most famous people ever to work here were the guys from the Blue Man Group.



Josh Simpson and Marisa Pinson (in unison): Cool.



Ian Gomez: Oh, it was a nutty, nutty crew.



The shot fades to flashback and the Ian Gomez suddenly has hair.



Ian Gomez (to the Blue Man guys): You guys got that?



The shot pans to the Blue Man Group. They say nothing and look at each other.



Ian Gomez (voiceover): But, of course, they made some mistakes.



The shot cuts to Ian Gomez and one of the Blue Man Group members
standing at the counter. An angry customer, played by Joe Hartzler, is
complaining.



Joe Hartzler: The problem is I ordered a cheeseburger, not a bag of marshmallows.



Joe Hartzler tosses the marshmallows onto the counter and the Blue Man
picks them up. The Blue Man pulls out a marshmallow and throws it out
into the lobby where it is caught in the mouth of a second Blue Man.
The second Blue Man then throws an indistinguishable yellow item at the
third Blue Man who catches it with a metal tray. He kisses the tray and
spreads the yellow substance into a pattern with his lips. The shot
then cuts to Bob Turton eating his lunch at a table. One of the blue
men sits down and begins eating food of Bob Turton’s tray. The shot
cuts back and forth between the Blue Man eating and Ian Gomez looking
horrified and reaching out as though to stop the Blue Man. The Blue Man
then has explosive vomit which lands on Bob Turton. The shot then cuts
to Ian Gomez lecturing the Blue Men in the drive thru window.



Ian Gomez: It’s called fast food. Alright, we have got to get these
orders out faster than we have been doing it, guys. Let’s go!



The Blue Men look at each other and the shot then cuts to them with a
slingshot setup in the drive thru window. They pull back food in the
slingshot and shoot it out the window. It lands on a man in his car.



Drive Thru Man: Whoa! What the f…



The food in slingshot maneuver is repeated several times. A young woman is shown at the drive thru.



Young Woman: Can I get a cheeseburger, fries and a…



Food is sprayed across her windshield and hood. Alex Fernie is shown at the window.



Alex Fernie: Oh hey, sorry, I was just here. I forgot to grab some ketchup and mustard.



The Blue Men spray Alex Fernie extensively with ketchup and mustard.



Alex Fernie: Uh, and some napkins.



A Blue Man reaches out and gently affixes a napkin to the side of Alex
Fernie’s head. It sticks to the ketchup and mustard. The shot cuts to a
Blue Man wearing a cheeseburger headset and covering Alex Gomez’s head
with bacon as though it were hair. A second Blue Man is shown with a
french fry mohawk. A sizzling sound is heard and the third Blue Man is
shown sitting in a fryer.



Ian Gomez (voiceover): It was kind of a rite of passage for me.



Ian Gomez is shown putting on a pair of safety goggles.



Ian Gomez (voiceover): It was when I became a man.



The Blue Men repeatedly hit Ian Gomez with milkshakes launched from the
slingshot. A montage of images is overlaid on top of the image,
including one of Ian Gomez holding a picture of the Blue Men. The
montage ends with the Blue Men and a milkshake covered Ian Gomez
Lifting their hands in victory.



Josh Simpson (voiceover): And you never saw them again.



Ian Gomez (voiceover): No, no, no. But I keep them with me.



The Blue Men are shown leaning their heads against the restaurant wall
outside of the drive thru window. Three blue marks are left on the wall.



Ian Gomez (voiceover): And, I use what they taught me, you know.



The shot cuts back to the break room.



Ian Gomez: Especially when I’m talking to the ladies.



Ian Gomez is shown with the Bacon hairdo again, chatting with some
young women. The shot then cuts to the Blue Man Group with the
slingshot filled with food. The food is launched at the camera. The
shot cuts to black and an animated blue paint splatter appears.