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Be, all that you can be, when you join the ranks of the US Lesbian Army! Hear about... more »
Published April 16, 2014 45k views More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Starring Erin Gibson & Bryan Safi
Written by Erin Gibson & Bryan Safi
Camera Op: Cristina Dunlap
Editor: Ian Skalski
Camera Op: Matt Sweeney
Art: Tricia Robertson
Follow Erin & Bryan on Twitter
Erin:
http://www.twitter.com/gibblertron
Bryan:
http://www.twitter.com/bryansafi

(ERIN): THIS IS
(ERIN AND BRYAN TOGETHER): THROWING SHADE.
(BRYAN): WHERE FEMINASTY ERIN GIBSON,
(ERIN): AND HOMOSENSUAL BRYAN SAFI,
(BRYAN): TAKE A LOOK AT THE HEADLINES
AND POLITICS,
(ERIN): AND POP CULTURE,
(BRYAN) AND TREAT THEM WITH MUCH
LESS RESPECT THAN THEY DESERVE.
(ERIN): CAN YOU HANDLE IT?
(BRYAN): WELL I--
(ERIN): WHAT DID YOU DO THIS WEEKEND?
YOU MEAN WHO? (LAUGHS)
NO.
NO, I KNOW YOU DIDN'T MEAN
THAT, BECAUSE--
BECAUSE THE GUY YOU'RE DATING
HAS GONE OUT OF TOWN.
WELL WHO SAID I'M NOT DATING
MORE THAN ONE PERSON?
I COULD BE DATING
THE PRINCE OF PERSIA.
YEAH BUT YOU'RE NOT.
I COULD BE DATING
THE SANDS OF TIME.
YOU'RE NOT.
I'M NOT.
OH, THE SANDS OF TIME.
YEAH.
I LOVE FUCKING THE
SANDS OF TIME.
ME TOO.
I GET FULLY
EXFOLIATED, INSIDE AND OUT.
IT'S THE TRUE.
WHENEVER SOMEONE SAYS LIKE,
"OH, I DID AN HOUR GLASS."
WHEN THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT
A WOMAN, I SAY,
"I DID THE TRUE HOUR GLASS"
WOW.
WHICH MEANS, I PUT MY PENIS IN AN
HOUR GLASS WITH SAND IN IT,
AND TURNED IT OVER.
WOW, I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW
YOU WOULD GET IN THAT CONVERSATION,
BECAUSE I DON'T EVEN KNOW ANYONE
WHO WOULD ASK THAT
QUESTION IN THE FIRST PLACE.
OK, YOU DON'T HANG
OUT WITH MY GIRLS.
DID YOU WORK AT THE ESTEE LAUDER COUNTER?
I DID.
I COULDN'T REMEMBER WHICH
COUNTER IT WAS.
IT WASN'T CHANEL,
I'LL TELL YOU THAT MUCH.
WAS THAT THE NICE ONE?
I WANTED TO GO TO CHANEL. I
TOLD YOU ABOUT THE GUY WHO
WORKED AT THE BENEFIT COUNTER
NAMED JADE.
NO.
WHO WAS THE FIRST GAY PERSON
I EVER KNEW, AND HE WORE
WOMAN'S CLOTHES, AND HE
ALSO ESCAPED SOME SMALL TOWN--
THAT IS SO NON SPECIFIC.
WOMAN'S CLOTHES LIKE
WHAT, LIKE SWEAT PANTS?
NO. NO, LET ME CLARIFY. HE'D WEAR
A BLACK V-NECK SHIRT
BUT IT WOULD BE WOMANS, SO
IT WOULD FIT HIM TIGHTER--
RIGHT.
-AND WOULD WEAR
LIKE WOMAN'S PANTS.
-YEAH.
IT FIT HIM NICELY, RIGHT.
YEAH.
ANYWAY, LONG STORY SHORT
HE WAS THE ONLY GAY DUDE I THINK THAT
WORKED AT THIS WHOLE
DEPARTMENT STORE, AND
I SAW A COWBOY SPIT
ON HIM ONE DAY.
LIKE--
WAS IT GARTH BROOKS?
IT WAS GARTH BROOKS. HE WAS
WEARING THAT FIRE SHIRT.
WAS IT CHRIS GAINSES?
IT WAS ONE OF THEM.
YEAH.
I CAN'T REMEMBER IF HEAD A GOATEE.
THAT IS AWFUL.
IT WAS AWFUL. IT WAS LIKE THE
FULL SHIT KICKING DUDE.
NO ONE DID ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
THAT'S WHY I'VE COMMITTED
MY LIFE TO DEFENDING YOU.
OH, YOU DEFEND ME?
IN HONOR OF JADE, YEAH.
DO YOU MEAN OFFEND?
NO. DEFEND.
HMM, LOOK UP THAT WORD--
NO, NO, I'M SORRY. DEPENDS.
YOU'RE THE ONE SENDING ME
DEPENDS IN THE MAIL.
IT'S, I'M VERY OFFENDED BY IT
BECAUSE I'M NOT SURE
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU THINK I'M INCONTINENT. I AM, BUT YOU KNOW--
WELL IT'S FOR
YOUR OWN PROTECTION.
WELL IF I WERE TO DRESS IN WOMAN'S CLOTHES--
IT'S DANGEROUS BEING GAY.
I WISH THEY WOULD MAKE A BELL
SLEEVE FOR A MAN.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
THEY HAVE ABSOLUTELY
DID IN THE 70S.
THEY DID? I WISH THEY WOULD
DO ANOTHER ONE.
I JUST WANT A CINDERELLA SLEEVE.
WELL YOU KNOW WHAT?
BASIC T'S.
TAKE IT INTO YOUR OWN HANDS. YOU
KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
START YOUR OWN FASHION LINE.
THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. I WILL.
I'M GOING TO CALL IT,
SLEEVES, HA.
QUESTION MARK.
SLEEVES QUESTION MARK HA.
YEAH.
THAT MAKES YOUR POINT.
CAN'T THINK OF A BETTER NAME.
IT'S GOING TO GO RIGHT NEXT
TO HELMUT LANG ON MELROSE.
YES.
HAVE YOU EVER DONE A ONE
WOMAN SHOW?
I HAVEN'T.
NO.
HAVE YOU?
I DID.
BUT YOURS WAS THE ONE
MAN SHOW, OR WAS IT ABOUT A --
OH, EXCUSE ME, NO-- YES, I
DID THE LIFE OF THE WOMAN
WHO WROTE... WHAT'S THAT BOOK?
DANIELLE STEEL.
OKAY.
I DID A ONE WOMAN'S SHOW, BUT
I WAS JUST DRESSED IN MY
BLACKS. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
BLACK TURTLENECK, THAT WHOLE
THING, BUT IT WAS THE LIFE
OF DANIELLE STEEL.
DID YOU HAVE A BURET ON?
I DID HAVE A BURET ON. EVERY
SCENE WAS JUST ME AND MY
HOME SAYING DIFFERENT THINGS
LIKE, "KITCHEN FABULOUS.
HERE'S WHERE I WROTE THE BOOK." YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
RIGHT, BUT YOU DON'T OWN ANY
OF HER BOOKS.
-NO
-NO.
PROBABLY THEY WERE ALL CALLED LIKE
HEART, PASSION,
FLOWERS IN THE FURNACE.
FLOWERS IN THE FURNACE. YEAH, HER
REINTERPRETATION OF
FLOWERS IN THE ATTIC.
EXACTLY.
WELL, THERE WAS A ONE WOMAN
SHOW THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE AT
USC, NOT THE ONE YOU'RE THINKING--
NOT UNIVERSITY OF SOUTHERN
CALIFORNIA.
UNIVERSITY OF SOUTH CAROLINA.
UH-OH.
THE TECHNICAL NAME OF IT IS
UNIVERSI--
-UH-OH.
-YEAH.
THE TECHNICAL NAME OF IT IS
UNIVERSITY SOUTH CAROLINA UPSTATE.
SO, LEIGH HENDRIX IS THE NAME
OF THE PERFORMER. SHE HAD
BOOKED A SHOW EARLIER THIS YEAR
AT UNIVERSITY OF SOUTH
CAROLINA UPSTATE TO PERFORM
HER ONE WOMAN SHOW ON CAMPUS
CALLED, HOW TO BE A LESBIAN
IN 10 DAYS OR LESS. WHICH
IS JUST SATIRE IT-- IT'S JUST A
COMEDY THING ABOUT--
INSTEAD OF HOW TO
LOSE A GUY IN 10 DAYS?
HOW TO BE A LESBIAN IN 10
DAYS OR LESS, AND IT WAS
BASICALLY, SHE IS I BELIEVE
A LESBIAN HERSELF, AND UM,
WAS BASICALLY JUST I THINK
TAKING ON ISSUES OF IDENTITY,
AND PERCEPTIONS OF PEOPLE, AND
YOU KNOW THAT KIND OF THING.
YEAH, BEING A BIG OL' LESBO. YEAH.
AND IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE, DURING
THE SCHOOLS SYMPOSIUM
CALLED BODIES OF KNOWLEDGE,
WHICH WAS LIKE AN LGBTQ,
SYMPOSIUM AT UNIVERSITY
OF SOUTH CAROLINA.
ABOUT LEARNING PEOPLE.
-EXACTLY.
-YEAH.
SO PEOPLE HEARD ABOUT THE TITLE
OF THIS HOW TO BECOME
A LESBIAN IN 10 DAYS OR LESS,
AND FLIPPED OUT.
WHAT PEOPLE?
POLITICIANS GOT INVOLVED. IT
WAS A WHOLE MESS.
STATE SENATOR MIKE FAIR,
WHO REPRESENTS GREENVILLE.
HE'S A REPUBLICAN IN SOUTH CAROLINA SAID, "THAT'S
NOT AN EXPLANATION OF I WAS
BORN THIS WAY, THIS IS RECRUITING.
SO BASICALLY HE TOOK HER
TITLE LITERALLY, AS IF LIKE,
I'M GOING TO TEACH YOU HOW
TO BECOME A LESBIAN.
HE NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND THEATRE
PEOPLE.
YEAH.
THEY DON'T MEAN WHAT THEY SAY.
THEY LIE ALL THE TIME.
THIS ISN'T A PENNYSAVER. THIS
ISN'T A LEARNING ANNEX.
THIS IS A SATIRICAL SHOW.
THIS IS A PERSON WHO'S LOOKING
FOR ATTENTION WHO
ABSOLUTELY IS OUT TO PUT HER
ART OUT THERE.
SHE'S PROBABLY GOT A LOT OF
ISSUES WITH HER HAIR.
SHE LIKES TO GOSSIP. YOU
KNOW, THEATRE PEOPLE.
SHE LIVES-- EXACTLY. SHE LOVES--
SHE TALKS REALLY LOUD.
YEP. EXACTLY. SHE WEARS HER
HEART ON HER SLEEVE.
YEAH.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
UM, AND--
SHE'S FUCKING EVERYBODY BACKSTAGE.
ABSOLUTELY.
THEATRE PEOPLE.
YEAH.
GOD, YOU GUYS JUST
FUCK LIKE CRAZY PEOPLE.
WHY ARE YOU SAYING, YOU GUYS?
YOU'RE A THEATRE PERSON.
I WAS. DID I HAVE A LOT OF SEX?
I GUESS--
WELL, YOU WERE REPRESSED.
I WAS REPRESSED.
YEAH.
I WOULD TAKE TWO LONG
WAXED STICK CANDLES, AND LIKE...
JERK OFF WITH, LIKE THAT?
YEAH.
IT'S FUNNY THAT YOU HAVE LIKE REALLY
HAVE ALTERNATIVE MASTURBATION
TECHNIQUES IN COLLEGE,
BECAUSE IN COLLEGE WHAT I USED TO DO
IS I LEARNED HOW TO DO SPLITS.
UH-HUH.
RIGHT, AND THEN I WOULD JUST
HAVE ORANGES ALL OVER THE
FLOOR AND THEN I WOULD JUST
ROLL AROUND ON ALL THE ORANGES.
WHY?
TILL I CAME.
THAT'S HOW I JERKED OFF IN COLLEGE.
HOW MANY ORANGES--
I CALLED IT ORANGE BALLING.
HOW MANY ORANGES WOULD YOU BUY?
OH, 40, A HUNDRED. YOU HAVE
TO COVER THE WHOLE FLOOR,
BECAUSE YOU CAN'T HAVE--
IF THEY ROLL TOO MUCH THEN
YOU CAN'T GET ANY FRICTION.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
DOES THAT FEEL GOOD?
AND YOU HAVE TO BE ABLE TO
DO THE SPLITS.
I DON'T, I DON'T KNOW WHAT--
I CAN'T IMAGINE, AND THIS
WAS WHEN YOU WERE IN--
ORANGES ON YOUR PUSSY.
WAS THIS IN A DORM ROOM?
YEAH.
SO YOU HAD A ROOMMATE?
WELL, I DIDN'T DO IT WHEN
SHE WAS HOME.
OH. (LAUGHS)
BY THE WAY, NO PANTS AND A SHIRT.
THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT,
BECAUSE IF SOMEONE SEE'S YOU
THROUGH THE WINDOW, YOU DON'T
WANT THEM THINKING ANYTHINGS UP
SO YOU'RE JUST LIKE, "HI!"
BECAUSE YOU'RE
FULLY CLOTHED TO HERE--
SO YOU'RE TALKING TO PEOPLE WHILE...
WELL YOU KNOW HOW CROWDED
DORMS ARE.
YEAH.
OKAY.
THANKS.
SO ALL OF THIS PRESSURE FROM
POLITICIANS, TO BASICALLY
TELL HER SHE NEEDED TO CANCEL
THE SHOW. THIS WAS RECRUITING.
THEY TOOK IT LITERALLY, AND
SHE ENDED UP HAVING TO CANCEL
THE SHOW.
NO, POOR THING.
YEAH, I KNOW.
WHY DID THEY HAVE TO CANCEL IT?
WHY COULDN'T THEY HAVE
JUST CHANGED THE NAME?
SHE SAID, LEIGH HENDRIX SAID,
"THE SHOW WAS A COMEDY,
AND IT'S ABOUT COMING OUT, BUT
MOSTLY IT'S ABOUT FINDING
AND USING YOUR VOICE. I
DIDN'T REALIZE UNTIL LAST WEEK
WHAT A RADICAL IDEA THAT IS.
I MADE THIS PIECE--"
GOOD FOR HER.
I KNOW. "I MADE THIS PIECE
TO LAUGH AT MYSELF, AND MY OWN
IDEAS OF WHAT ONE HAS TO DO
TO BE QUEER, TO BE AN ARTIST,
AND TO BE HUMAN IN THE WORLD."
MY FEELING ON IT, IS LIKE, AND
THESE POLITICIANS--
THIS IS WHAT ANGERS ME ABOUT
THESE POLITICIANS IS I
KNOW THEY'RE NOT THAT STUPID.
I KNOW THAT THERE'S NO WAY
THEY ACTUALLY THINK--
DIGGING THEIR HEELS IN THE SAND
FOR SOME POLITICAL REASON?
THERE IS NO WAY THEY ACTUALLY--
JUST TO GET
THEIR NAMES OUT THERE. BECAUSE
THERE IS NO WAY
THEY ACTUALLY THINK THAT THIS
PLAY, THIS ONE WOMAN'S SHOW,
IS ABOUT, IS A STEP BY STEP
GUIDE ON HOW TO BE GAY.
IF YOU WANT A STEP BY STEP
GUIDE, YOU KNOW WHAT THERE'S
JUST NO WAY, ON HOW TO BECOME
A LESBIAN. THERE'S ABSOLUTELY
NO WAY.
JEAN JACKET.
-EXACTLY.
-CHECK.
YEAH.
SHORT HAIR CUT, CHECK.
YOU'RE A LESBIAN?
TANK TOP, CHECK.
YEAH.
YOU DEFY ALL THE ODDS.
I DID IT, I BECAME
A LESBIAN TODAY.
BRYAN, I'M SO EXCITED.
ME TOO.
BECAUSE, FOR THE FIRST TIME
IN A LONG TIME, I HAVE A
SISTER IN TALLNESS HERE TODAY.
OH, YOU DO?
YEAH.
NO.
OH.
(LAUGHS)
BETTY WHO.
-BETTY WHO IS HERE.
-IT WAS ME.
HELLO BETTY WHO.
HI.
SO NICE TO MEET YOU.
YOU TOO. I'M SO HAPPY TO BE HERE.
-THANKS FOR COMING.
-WE'VE NEVER INTERVIEWED A RECORDING ARTIST.
NO.
-WOW.
-YEAH.
OR VISUAL ARTIST. WE HAVE NEVER
MET AN ARTIST OR SEEN ONE.
YOU'VE NEVER MET... (LAUGHS)
THIS IS A HUGE THING.
ALSO, THANK YOU FOR WEARING
THE SAME LIPSTICK AS
OUR WALLPAPER.
YOU'RE SO WELCOME.
YOU DO. YOU COORDINATED SO WELL.
I ACTUALLY, I CAME--
I DID A DRY RUN EARLIER.
YES.
AND I DROVE BY, AND MADE SURE
I WAS ALL COORDINATED.
I HAD A DENIM JACKET ON
EARLIER, AND WE WERE MATCHING
TANKS AND DENIM.
I KNOW.
AND BOOTS.
I FORCED YOU TO TAKE IT OFF,
BECAUSE I FELT LEFT OUT.
SHADES OF DENIM. YEAH.
YES.
WE DO. WE DID IT. YEAH.
DID YOU READ 50 SHADES OF GREY?
I READ IT OUT LOUD TO MY
FRIENDS. WE WERE ALL GOING
AROUND, AND READING IT OUT LOUD,
AND LIKE, I DON'T KNOW--
I'M VERY COMFORTABLE WITHIN
MY SEXUALITY--
YEAH.
AND I WAS LIKE... (BLOWING SOUND)
I DON'T KNOW IF...
TO MUCH TOO SOON?
YEAH. AND LIKE READING IT ALOUD
WAS VERY AGGRESSIVE.
YEAH.
IT'S AGGRESSIVE SEX.
YES.
I READ 3 SENTENCES, AND I
CAME--
(LAUGHS) I WAS DONE.
BUT DO YOU KNOW I GAVE THAT
BOOK TO MY GRANDMOTHER.
SHE WANTED THAT FOR
CHRISTMAS, AND I--
NO WAY.
I HAD TO PRESENT THAT GIFT TO
AN 85 YEAR OLD WOMAN.
I THINK THAT THEY INVENTED
THE KINDLE JUST FOR LIKE
EDERLY WOMAN READING 50 SHADES
OF GREY ON THE TRAIN.
ABSOLUTELY.
NO ONE HAS TO KNOW--
I FIRST HEARD--
BACK TO ME.
I FIRST HEARD ABOUT YOU FROM
THE HOME DEPOT FLASH MOB VIDEO--
RIGHT.
-WITH THE PROPOSAL.
-RIGHT.
-AND THAT'S HOW I HEARD THE SONG--
-NOT THE PROPOSAL THE MOVIE.
NO.
AND THAT'S WHEN I HEARD THE SONG
SOMEBODY LOVES YOU.
I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW
BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW
IF YOU'VE SEEN THAT FLASH
MOB VIDEO--
I'VE WATCHED IT SEVERAL TIMES.
OK. WELL I JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW
BECAUSE YOU MIGHT WANT
TO TAKE YOUR SONG OUT OF THE
VIDEO, OR YOUR NAME OFF IT.
IT'S 2 MEN. GETTING MARRIED.
OH. I WAS, THAT'S TOO BAD.
THE PROPOSAL'S 2 GUYS. I DON'T
KNOW IF YOU KNEW THAT,
BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU WOULDN'T
WANT TO ASSOCIATE
YOURSELF WITH IF YOU--
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNEW THIS,
BUT I'M A GAY ICON.
SO.
-OH
-YOU ARE?
I'M A GUYCON.
I LOVE IT.
WELL I WAS COMPLETELY OFFENDED
BY THAT. NO I'M
KIDDING, BUT I HAVE NEVER SEEN
SO MANY COLORFUL
TANK TOPS. I DON'T KNOW WHERE
THEY GOT THEM.
I MET THEM, AND IT WAS FUNNY
BECAUSE I WENT TO THEIR WEDDING.
YOU DID?
I SANG AT THEIR WEDDING.
YOU DID?
SEX IN THE CITY 2.
YOU'RE DOING IT ALL.
I KNOW. I'M DOING IT ALL, AND
BASICALLY I'M THE NEXT
LIZA MINNELLI. I AM, BUT I SAW
ONE OF THE GUYS WHO WAS IN THE
BIG YELLOW, YOU KNOW--
(BRYAN): YES.
(BETTY): YOU KNOW, HE WAS COMMITTING THE HARNESS IN THE VIDEO,
AND I WAS LIKE, "I REMEMBER YOU
FROM THE VIDEO."
AND EVERYONE AT THE TABLE ALL--
WEPT.
ANGRY GAYS WERE LIKE,
HE KNOWS YOU MAN.
HE WAS LIKE, I
KNOW YOU REMEMBER ME.
IT WAS LIKE HIS FUCKING
MOMENT IN THE SUN.
YOU ARE INTO MUSICALS. LIKE
WHO DO YOU LOVE?
MICHAEL AND WHITNEY WERE LIKE
BIG POP ICONS FOR ME.
UM, GUYCONS IF YOU WILL.
SURE.
I THINK I WAS SUPER INFLUENCED
BY SONG WRITERS,
BECAUSE I THINK OF MYSELF
FIRST AND FOREMOST AS A SONGWRITER,
BECAUSE I WRITE MY OWN MUSIC
AND WHATEVER, AND I THINK LIKE
IF IT CAME DOWN TO ME HAVING
TO SING POP MUSIC OR
I HAD TO SING OTHER
PEOPLE'S SONGS, OR I HAD
TO SIT ON A STOOL IN A BAR IN
FRONT OF A HUNDRED PEOPLE
FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, AND
SING MY OWN SONGS I WOULD DO THAT.
YES.
WOULD YOU HAVE HAD SEX WITH
GEORGE MICHEAL.
IN THE 80S?
YEAH.
ABSOLUTELY.
WOULD YOU HAVE SEX WITH ROB
LOWE IN THE 80S OR NOW?
BOTH.
OKAY.
CAN I SAY ALL THE ABOVE?
BECAUSE HE LOOKS EXACTLY THE SAME.
ARE YOU KIDDING, I'M THE NUMBER
ONE WEST WING
FAN IN THE WHOLE WORLD, BECAUSE
I'M 85, AND SO
ROB LOWE IN WEST WING COULD
GET IT. IN THE FIRST EPISODE
HE HAS SEX WITH A HOOKER.
HE'S SO IN IT. I WAS DOWN.
THAT, DO YOU LOVE A WALK AND TALK?
I LOVE A GOOD WALK AND TALK.
DON'T YOU THINK JANNEY SHOULD
BE A GUYCON? I THINK
WE SHOULD ONLY CALL HER JANNEY,
JUST ONE NAME.
I THINK THAT'S SUCH A GOOD IDEA.
LIKE MADONNA.
ACTUALLY, ALLISON AND JANNEY, JANNEY,
IS MY PERSONAL HERO.
YEAH.
AND I FEEL LIKE SHE'S ONE OF THE
MOST UNSUNG HEROS OF
MY GENERATION.
I NEARLY SWITCHED TO KAISER PERMANENTE,
JUST FOR HER.
JUST BECAUSE SHE DID THE VOICE. ABSOLUTELY--
ON THE RADIO, AND I HEARD IT
, AND I WAS LIKE JANNEY.
OK, SO BETTY, YOU'RE AUSTRALIAN.
YES.
DO YOU KNOW IF YOUR ANCESTORS
WERE MURDERERS--
CONVICTS OF SOME KIND.
CHILD ABUSERS.
TAX EVADERS.
I'M NOT SURE, BUT I'M SURE IT
WAS SOMETHING FUCKING HORRIBLE.
(LAUGHS)
I BELIEVE IT.
WELL, ON THAT NOTE BETTY, WE
LOVE FOR YOU TO SING US A DIDDY.
I WOULD LOVE THAT.
THAT'S YOUR TRANSITION?
YEAH, YES. THAT WAS WONDERFUL.
YOU'RE WRAPPING UP A TOUR.
YES I AM.
YOUR EP IS DROPPING WHEN?
APRIL 8TH.
FANTASTIC.
AND WHERE CAN PEOPLE GET IT?
ITUNES.
OH, I'VE HEARD OF IT.
OH GREAT. OH MY GOSH.
ITUNES OR WHATEVER.
APRIL 8TH IS 8 DAYS BEFORE MY
SISTER'S BIRTHDAY.
SO THAT'S HOW
PEOPLE CAN REMEMBER IT.
RIGHT. ABSOLUTELY.
THANKS BETTY.
LET EVERYONE KNOW. OF COURSE.
(MUSIC PLAYS, BETTY WHO
"SOMEBODY LOVES YOU")
WHO'S AROUND WHEN THE DAYS FEEL LONG
WHO'S AROUND WHEN YOU CAN'T BE STRONG
WHO'S AROUND WHEN YOU'RE LOSING YOUR MIND
WHO CARES THAT YOU GET HOME SAFE
WHO KNOWS YOU CAN'T BE REPLACED
WHO THINKS THAT YOU'RE ONE OF A KIND
SOMEBODY MISSES YOU WHEN YOU'RE AWAY
THEY WANNA WAKE UP WITH YOU EVERYDAY
SOMEBODY WANTS TO HEAR YOU SAY
OOH SOMEBODY LOVES YOU
OOH SOMEBODY LOVES YOU
OOH SOMEBODY LOVES YOU
OOH SOMEBODY LOVES YOU
OOH SOMEBODY LOVES YOU
I'M AROUND WHEN YOUR HEAD IS HEAVY
I'M AROUND WHEN YOUR HANDS AREN'T STEADY
I'M AROUND WHEN YOUR DAY'S GONE ALL WRONG
I CARE THAT YOU FEEL AT HOME
I KNOW THAT YOU FEEL ALONE
I THINK YOU'RE GOING TO MISS ME WHEN I AM GONE
SOMEBODY MISSES YOU WHEN YOU'RE AWAY
THEY WANNA WAKE UP WITH YOU EVERYDAY
SOMEBODY WANTS TO HEAR YOU SAY
OOH SOMEBODY LOVES YOU
OOH SOMEBODY LOVES YOU
OOH SOMEBODY LOVES YOU
OOH SOMEBODY LOVES YOU
OOH SOMEBODY LOVES YOU
WHY DON'T YOU COME ON OVER
WHY DON'T YOU LAY ME DOWN
DOES THE PAIN FEEL BETTER
WHEN I'M AROUND
IF I AM GOOD TO YOU
WON'T YOU BE GOOD TO ME
THAT'S HOW EASY THIS SHOULD BE
SOMEBODY MISSES YOU
SOMEBODY MISSES YOU BABY
THEY WANT TO WAKE UP WITH YOU
OOH, THEY WANT YOU TO SAY.
OOH SOMEBODY LOVES YOU
OOH SOMEBODY LOVES YOU
SOMEBODY, SOMEBODY
SOMEBODY LOVES YOU
OOH SOMEBODY LOVES YOU
OOH SOMEBODY LOVES YOU
(APPLAUSE)

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