Gays Beware with Jesse Tyler Ferguson and George Takei

• • 

  • Jesse Tyler Ferguson

  • Actor
• • 

  • George Takei

  • Actor
• • 

  • Brad Goreski

  • Actor
• • 

  • lauren

  • Writer/Director
• • 

  • daddyreynolds

  • Actor
• • 

  • Funny Or Die

  • Executive Producer
• • 

  • Deborah Tarica

  • Actor
• • 

  • Betsy Koch

  • Producer
• • 

  • Ross Buran

  • Producer
• • 

  • Funny Or Die Politics

  • Channel

(classical music plays)
George: I'm George Takei.
I'm a person ...a Trekkie,
and a bow tie enthusiast.
I need to talk to you about
something very important;
marriage equality.
This is a typical American neighborhood;
friendly faces and quiet streets ...
But there is one person
living on this street
who's orientation threatens
to destroy society.
There's Dale Wilson struggling
with his lawn mower.
What you can't tell about
Dale is that he's sick.
He opposes marriage equality.
Dale looks normal, but he gives off clues
of his prejudice with buzz words like
pro-family, traditional marriage or
pole smoker.
Dale wants to restrict
marriage to a man and a woman.
He doesn't care whether
the couple just met
on a drunken trip to Vegas, a reality show
or if they're only
marrying for a green card.
Dale would let any two idiots marry unless
those two idiots are gay.
Dale likes to say that same-sex
couples will hurt marriage,
but Dale has been divorced twice.
His third marriage to Joan is, well ...
take a look at her ...
she doesn't look happy, does she?
Dale's dangerous opinions threaten to keep
over 1,110 rights away from gay couples;
everything from tax
deductions to property rights.
But that's not the worst part ...
The most offensive symptom
of Dale's ignorance
is that he robs same-sex couples
of their big, gay wedding.
Nobody throws a wedding
better than the gays;
The music, the flowers, the costumes.
A party like that could
cure Dale's illness
if only he wasn't so sick.
The good news is that
feelings are changing.
Many people are evolving
into champions of equality
by participating in reparative therapy
that includes watching a Broadway musical,
attending a WNBA game, buying a bow tie,
or simply meeting a gay person.
The most important thing to remember
when dealing with people who don't support
marriage equality, is to be kind.
They are most likely hiding
their own homosexuality.
Besides, these people
don't know they're being
assholes.