Brothers and Sisters... I'm Reverend Billy Squillermeir. You can see how well-used my old Bible is, which shows just how close I am to Jesus. I'm coming to you today to tell you that money is the root of ALL KINDS of evil! In order to address this problem, I've come up with a solution. Send me ALL of your money and I'll dispose of it for you in a way that is beautiful and pleasing to the Lord. Just send your tax-deductable gift to me and we'll build a glorious temple to the Lord with beautiful solid gold ornamentation and the most expensive artwork in the world.
When you send in your tax-deductable gift to the Lord, we'll put your name in 24 karat gold on a brick that goes into the temple. If you can't send ALL of your money right now, just send half now and half later. You'll be glad you did! It will be pleasing to the Lord and God will bless you for it!
Because I'm God's representative, please be sure to make all checks out to me, Rev. Billy Squllermeir. God will bless you for it!