Christmas gets competitive in a showdown between Sam and Anne.

Full Credits

Starring Anne Hathaway & Samuel L Jackson
Production Companies: Zoe Jackson Productions & Mirror Cube Films
Executive Producer: Zoe Jackson
Directors: Jess Manafort & Zoe Jackson
Producer: Christopher Shand
Writers: Rob Dean and Matt Roller
Editor: Jasmin Way
Director of Photography: Carrie Cheek
Assistant Camera: Matt Reynolds & Kevin Quigley
Sound Mixer: Joshua Baggett
Key Hair and Makeup: Kyle Goodwin
Production Assistants: Maya Willner & Gavyn Taylor Pickens


[light sounds]
[piano playing]
Anne Hathaway: 7 marshmallows just
like you asked.
Anne Hathaway: Hi, everyone.
As the holidays approach
Anne Hathaway: Sam and I just wanted to
wish you a Merry Christmas.
Anne Hathaway: So, even though we both
have dramatic movies
Anne Hathaway: coming out this
Samuel L Jackson: Django Unchained.
Anne Hathaway: And Les Miserables,
Anne Hathaway: it's important to remember
the more upbeat
Anne Hathaway: aspects of the
season, right?
Samuel L Jackson: Yeah, especially since
both of our films
Samuel L Jackson: can be a little
Anne Hathaway: Both?
Oh come on.
Anne Hathaway: My movie, it's literally
called 'The Miserable'.
Anne Hathaway: Yeah, okay. I guess your
movie is kind of dark too.
Samuel L Jackson: Kind of dark
Samuel L Jackson: Interesting choice of
words there, Anne.
Samuel L Jackson: Now you know my movie
is about slavery, right?
[piano keys pound]
Anne Hathaway: I knew you'd do
Man, don't pull it.
Anne Hathaway: Yeah, Sam.
I know.
Anne Hathaway: I also know your movie
isn't called
Anne Hathaway: Django Still Chained
is it?
Samuel L Jackson: Oh, so we're
doing this?
Anne Hathaway: Oh, I think we're
doing this.
Lady: It's a sad off.
Anne Hathaway: Yeah, that's right.
It's a sad off mother fucker.
Samuel L Jackson: Oh, your saying
nothing but a word.
Anne Hathaway: The star of your
movie had his own
Anne Hathaway: sitcom on the WB.
Samuel L Jackson: You were a Disney
Anne Hathaway: I was a Disney princess
because I had long hair.
Anne Hathaway: In this movie all that gets
chopped off with a knife.
Samuel L Jackson: That's a fucking
buzz cut.
Samuel L Jackson: I haven't had hair since
Samuel L Jackson: You trying being a black man
in the south in the 1800's.
Samuel L Jackson: I bet you couldn't
handle being a black man
Samuel L Jackson: in the south
right now!
Anne Hathaway: When there is
a French whore
Anne Hathaway: in the White House,
then we can talk.
Samuel L Jackson: You say that like
there's never
Samuel L Jackson: been a French whore
in the White House.
Samuel L Jackson: Tadow!
Anne Hathaway: Damn.
Anne Hathaway: My character works in a factory.
Everyone is mean to her.
Anne Hathaway: She loses her job...
Samuel L Jackson: Whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa!
Samuel L Jackson: You lose your
Samuel L Jackson: Yeah. She does.
Samuel L Jackson: Oh my God!
Samuel L Jackson: Everybody in my film has job
security because they're slaves.
Samuel L Jackson: See them out here working in
the fields picking that cotton?
Samuel L Jackson: Look, that ones carrying a
big bale of cotton on his back.
Anne Hathaway: You made a slave
Samuel L Jackson: Come on.
Anne Hathaway: I thought we were making
gingerbread houses.
Anne Hathaway: I would have made
a factory.
Anne Hathaway: I would have made
whore town.
Samuel L Jackson: The gingerbread plantation.
Anne Hathaway: (sighs)
Samuel L Jackson: Millions of people died
during slavery. Slavery!
[screaming at each other]
Samuel L Jackson: Ahhhh!
Samuel L Jackson: Bitch has done bust up
the bee house.
Samuel L Jackson: Oh, Miss Annie done killed
all the little slaves.
Samuel L Jackson: You busted up their house.
Where we gonna work now?
Anne Hathaway: Is that really the
best you got?
Anne Hathaway: (crying) Oh, no.
Anne Hathaway: My child. My child! (screaming)
Samuel L Jackson: Women get beaten
in my movie.
Anne Hathaway: Same thing happens
in mine.
Samuel L Jackson: Guys get their heads
blown off.
Anne Hathaway: Same.
Samuel L Jackson: Huh?
Samuel L Jackson: There's a man ripped apart
by dogs in my movie. (laughing)
Anne Hathaway: Shit.
Anne Hathaway: (singing) ♪ Silent night. ♪
Anne Hathaway: (gasping) ♪ Holy night. ♪
Samuel L Jackson: Shut that shit
Samuel L Jackson: The fuck!
Silent Night my ass.
Anne Hathaway: Yeah, it's not fun to
listen to a girl sing
Anne Hathaway: who has got
tuberculosis is it?
Samuel L Jackson: You're an actress
Samuel L Jackson: to have tuberculosis.
Anne Hathaway: How many slaves
do you know
Anne Hathaway: who live in
Beverly Hills?
Samuel L Jackson: 3.
Anne Hathaway: Oh, yeah. We got
to do something
Anne Hathaway: about that man.
That's just not right.
Samuel L Jackson: You know what?
This competition is just wrong.
Samuel L Jackson: Christmas is not
about being beat.
Anne Hathaway: Although, Django has
plenty of that.
Samuel L Jackson: Yeah, that
it do.
Anne Hathaway: That it do.
Samuel L Jackson: Christmas is about
bringing people together.
Anne Hathaway: Hmm.
Samuel L Jackson: Like prostitution
Anne Hathaway: That makes me die
a little bit inside,
Anne Hathaway: but you know
what, Sam?
Anne Hathaway: It's the holidays.
I'll give it to you.
Anne Hathaway: Nothing says Christmas
like slaves and whores.
Samuel L Jackson: And that's our gift
to you America.
[cups clinking]
Samuel L Jackson: The death of hoes.
Anne Hathaway: Hope.
The death of hope.
[bells chiming]