Add to Playlist

Christmas gets competitive in a showdown between Sam and Anne.
Published December 17, 2012 1.8m views Immortal More Info ยป
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Starring Anne Hathaway & Samuel L Jackson
Production Companies: Zoe Jackson Productions & Mirror Cube Films
Executive Producer: Zoe Jackson
Directors: Jess Manafort & Zoe Jackson
Producer: Christopher Shand
Writers: Rob Dean and Matt Roller
Editor: Jasmin Way
Director of Photography: Carrie Cheek
Assistant Camera: Matt Reynolds & Kevin Quigley
Sound Mixer: Joshua Baggett
Key Hair and Makeup: Kyle Goodwin
Production Assistants: Maya Willner & Gavyn Taylor Pickens

(light sounds)
(piano playing)
Anne: 7 marshmallows just like you asked.
Hi, everyone. As the holidays approach
Sam and I just wanted to
wish you a Merry Christmas.
So, even though we both
have dramatic movies
coming out this Christmas.
Sam: Django Unchained.
Anne: And Les Miserables,
it's important to remember the more upbeat
aspects of the season, right?
Sam: Yeah, especially
since both of our films
can be a little bleak.
Anne: Both? Oh come on.
My movie, it's literally
called 'The Miserable'.
Yeah, okay. I guess your
movie is kind of dark too.
Sam: Kind of dark too.
Interesting choice of words there, Anne.
Now you know my movie
is about slavery, right?
(piano keys pound)
Anne: I knew you'd do
that. Man, don't pull it.
Anne: Yeah, Sam. I know.
I also know your movie isn't called
Django Still Chained is it?
(mystery music)
Sam: Oh, so we're doing this?
Anne: Oh, I think we're doing this.
Woman: It's a sad off.
Anne: Yeah, that's right.
It's a sad off mother fucker.
Sam: Oh, your saying nothing but a word.
Anne: The star of your movie had his own
sitcom on the WB.
Sam: You were a Disney princess.
Anne: I was a Disney princess
because I had long hair.
In this movie all that gets
chopped off with a knife.
Sam: That's a fucking buzz cut.
I haven't had hair since 'Unbreakable'.
You trying being a black man
in the south in the 1800's.
I bet you couldn't
handle being a black man
in the south right now!
Anne: When there is a French whore
in the White House, then we can talk.
Sam: You say that like there's never
been a French whore in the White House.
Try dat!
Anne: Damn.
My character works in a factory.
Everyone is mean to her.
Sam: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Sam: You lose your job?
Sam: Yeah. She does.
Sam: Oh my God!
Everybody in my film has job
security because they're slaves.
See them out here working in
the fields picking that cotton?
Look, that ones carrying a big
bale of cotton on his back.
Anne: You made a slave house?
Sam: Come on.
Anne: I thought we were
making gingerbread houses.
I would have made a factory.
I would have made whore town.
Sam: The gingerbread plantation.
Anne: (sighs)
Sam: Millions of people died
during slavery. Slavery!
(screaming at each other)
Anne: That's getting whacked.
Sam: Ahhhh!
Bitch has done bust up the bee house.
Oh, Miss Annie done killed
all the little slaves.
You busted up their house.
Where we gonna work now?
Anne: Is that really the best you got?
(crying) Oh, no.
My child. My child! (screaming)
Sam: Women get beaten in my movie.
Anne: Same thing happens in mine.
Sam: Guys get their heads blown off.
Anne: Same.
Sam: Huh?
There's a man ripped apart by
dogs in my movie. (laughing)
Anne: Shit.
(coughing)
Anne: (singing) Silent night.
(gasping) Holy night.
Sam: Shut that shit down.
The fuck! Silent Night my ass.
Anne: Yeah, it's not fun
to listen to a girl sing
who has got tuberculosis is it?
Sam: You're an actress pretending
to have tuberculosis.
Anne: How many slaves do you know
who live in Beverly Hills?
Sam: 3.
Anne: Oh, yeah. We got to do something
about that man. That's just not right.
Sam: You know what? This
competition is just wrong.
Christmas is not about being beat.
Anne: Although, Django has plenty of that.
Sam: Yeah, that it do.
Anne: That it do.
Sam: Christmas is about
bringing people together.
Anne: Mm.
Sam: Like prostitution does.
Anne: That makes me die
a little bit inside,
but you know what, Sam?
It's the holidays. I'll give it to you.
Nothing says Christmas
like slaves and whores.
Sam: And that's our gift to you America.
(cups clinking)
The death of hoes.
Anne: Hope. The death of hope.
(bells chiming)

Advertisement
Advertisement

From Around the Web