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Third Date with Will Ferrell
Published May 06, 2007 5.1m views More Info ยป
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Published May 06, 2007

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[classical music plays]

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BABE RUTH.

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THE GRAND BAMBINO. THE SULTAN OF BATTING.

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THE KING OF HOME RUNNING THE BASEBALL.

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HE WENT BY MANY NAMES, BUT WE
ALL KNOW HIM BEST AS BABY.

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THE BASEBALL PLAYER WITH THE MOST NICKNAMES.

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BORN IN AMERICA, GEORGE HERMAN RUTH DIDN'T LIKE HIS
BIRTH NAME FROM THE VERY START.

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AT HIS 6TH BIRTHDAY PARTY, HE STOOD ON A CHAIR AND EXCLAIMED,

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"I'M GOING TO HAVE THE MOST NICKNAMES
IN PROFESSIONAL BASEBALL.

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AFTER THAT, HE ADDED, ALSO MY GOAL IS

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TO PLAY PROFESSIONAL BASEBALL IN NEW YORK CITY,
FOR THE NEW YORK CITY METS.

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SOON AFTER, HE LOST HIS BALANCE AND FELL BUTTOCKS FIRST
INTO HIS OWN BIRTHDAY CAKE.

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AS THE YEARS WENT ON, BABY GATHERED UP HIS FAIR SHARE OF
NICKNAMES IN THE AMERICAN TOWN WHERE HE WAS RAISED.

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SOME OF THOSE NICKNAMES INCLUDE RAM-RAM, SQUEAKY,
THE TOP CHEESE, WRENCH MAN, ROB,

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PENNSYLVANIA HARRY, THE GUNG HO KID, AND IT IS RUMORED,
THAT ONCE HIS UNCLE CALLED HIM BY HIS FATHER'S NAME,

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BUT QUICKLY CORRECTED HIMSELF.

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BUT EVEN WITH A BEVY OF NICKNAMES,

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RUTH STILL WASN'T SATISFIED.

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SURE HE HAD NICKNAMES, BUT THEY WEREN'T BASEBALL NICKNAMES.

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SO HE DID WHAT ANY YOUNG MAN WOULD DO
IN THAT SITUATION, AND HE ASKED THE

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COMMISSIONER OF BASEBALL IF HE COULD JOIN ONE OF THE TEAMS.

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THE COMMISSIONER SAID YES.

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AS HIS CAREER UNFOLDED, RUTH FOUND
HIMSELF SCOOPING UP NICKNAMES THE WAY

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AN ALL STAR FOOTBALL PLAYER SCOOPS UP
FUMBLES, WITH FREQUENCY AND WITH EASE.

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HIS VERY FIRST BASEBALL NICKNAME WAS
FOUND IN THE NEW YORK CITY NEWSPAPER

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UNDER A HEADLINE, NEW BASEBALL HITTER
DOES JUST THAT.

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THE ARTICLE WENT ON TO DESCRIBE HIM AS THE GRAND BAMBINO,

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THAT BASEBALL HITTING MAN.

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HIS OTHER PROFESSIONAL BASEBALL NICKNAMES INCLUDED

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THE UNIFORM SWINGER, CATCHING GLOVE RUTHIE,
THE COLOSSUS OF WALLOP,

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MR. BASEBALL, MS. BASEBALL, THE KING OF THE CRACK OF THE BAT,

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THE MAN WHO DOES VERY WELL WHERE PEANUTS ARE SOLD,

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AND ONCE AFTER STEALING A BASE, THE STEALER OF BASES.

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HIS CAREER ENDED ABRUPTLY IN 1935 AFTER
HE GOT TIRED OF RUNNING SO MUCH, AND DECIDED TO QUIT.

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SO HE QUIT.

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A SELLOUT CROWD WAS ON HAND AT BASEBALL STADIUM

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TO HEAR RUTH THANK HIS MANY FANS FOR
YEARS OF DEDICATED NICKNAMING.

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WITH A TEAR HE SAID GOODBYE, WAVED TO THE CROWD,
AND FELL BUTTOCKS FIRST INTO A BIRTHDAY CAKE.

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BABY, BAT OWNING RUTH, NOW YOU KNOW THE WHOLE STORY.

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[classical music plays]

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HE WAS ALSO CALLED THE DUKE OF THE DUGOUT.

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