Nicol Paone: We're committed to making your flight safe and comfortable. Once we've reached our cruising altitude, you can turn on all approved electronic devices. Zzz.
Nicol Paone: Now, as we're leaving the gate, make sure your seat belt is properly fastened, and your condom is on.
Nicol Paone: If you're seated at an emergeny exit, then you're fu**ing lucky. The question is, can you handle it? Can you handle it when my buttered ti*s rub past your face? Or my greasy a*s brushes past your chin?
Nicol Paone: Are you man enough? If not, then you are probably gay. If you feel like smoking, that's a no, no no. You have to wait until everyone gets off.
Nicol Paone: Now, if we experience any turbulence, don't worry. It's either a shift in your cabin pressure, or one of us is getting a*s nailed in the back. Bet's on me.
Nicol Paone: If at any time you feel uncomfortable, just push my button. And I'll come.