Jack McBrayer: Oh, hello. I'm the Hollywood entertainment industry's Jack McBrayer. You may recognize me from such things as the Grammy's, the United States Army, or my role as Diane Keaton in the film Something's Gotta Give.
Jack McBrayer: Well, I guess I'm just a turtleneck kind of gal. I'm delighted to have you on my show 'Livin' 'Neath The Law' with Jack McBrayer.
Jack McBrayer: Today, I'm gonna talk to you about the most efficient way to rip off a drug dealer. Come along.
Jack McBrayer: Prescription drugs are expensive, and too many refills makes you look suspicious. That ain't no way to live! When you encounter a drug dealer on the street, and you will, ask him if he has Kibbles -n- Bits. A street term used to describe small crumbs of crack.
Jack McBrayer: Before he can answer, use your shiv, a broken beer bottle, or a box cutter to give him a telephone scar. By marking the drug dealer, you're sending the message that you are not one to be fu**ed with.
Jack McBrayer: Then, empty out his pockets and leave him in a dumpster for dead.
Jack McBrayer: Enjoy your drugs. And don't let what you've done weigh heavy on your conscience. You're in the game now. It's play or be played.
Jack McBrayer: This is Jack McBrayer reminding you, you don't have to look like a criminal to live like one.