Tom Bergeron hosts the hottest new game show, where Republican presidential candidates try to find the answers that will earn them cold hard cash (or soft money) for their campaigns. more »

Full Credits

Talent: Tom Bergeron
Producers: Ben Sheehan, Eleanor Winkler, Ross Buran
Director: Lauren Palmigiano
Writer: Matt Klinman
DP: Matt Sweeney
Cam Op: Michael Lincoln
1AC: Chris Marius Jones
Gaffer: Zachary Zeidman
Grip: Brad Carr
Art: Nia Freshman
Wardrobe: Lynn Brannelly, Michelle Thompson
HMU: Emily Rae Hilgenberg
Sound: Gopal Bidari
Production Coordinator: Doug Deluca
PA: Glenn Fellman
Editors: Marty Cramer, Kegan Swyers, Adriana Robles
Graphics: Shawn James

Stats & Data

581Funny
291Die
14,964
Views
October 29, 2015
Published

Transcript

(music plays as the crowd cheers)
Tom Bergeron: I'm Tom Bergeron, and this
is Run for the Cash.
Tom Bergeron: The gameshow where
Presidential candidates
Tom Bergeron: win real money for answering
questions. Here's how it works.
Tom Bergeron: I'll ask the questions, and
if you answer correctly
Tom Bergeron: your Super PACs get cash
from special interest
Tom Bergeron: groups, corporations, and
wealthy sociopaths.
Tom Bergeron: Senator Rubio, for $500,000
dollars for your Super PAC,
Tom Bergeron: could you say something
that means absolutely nothing,
Tom Bergeron: but will get the extreme right
really fired up?
Marco Rubio: The Democrats have the ultimate
Super PAC,
Marco Rubio: and it's called the mainstream
media.
(bell rings)
(crowd applauds)
Tom Bergeron: Governor Bush, lets
take a moment to thank
Tom Bergeron: your biggest Super PAC contributor
so far Mike Fernandez.
Tom Bergeron: What would you like to
do to him?
Jeb Bush: I'll give him a warm kiss.
(buzzer rings)
Tom Bergeron: Governor Chris Christie
for $10,000 are you worried
Tom Bergeron: about answering wrong, because
of what the mob might
Tom Bergeron: do to your clavicle?
Chris Christie: Well, I wish you would've
asked that question years
Chris Christie: ago when they broke it.
Tom Bergeron: Mr. Trump, for $20,000
from a major dog food company,
Tom Bergeron: how does your big fat corgi
get in the house?
Donald Trump: Big, fat, beautiful door
right in the middle of the wall.
(bell rings)
Tom Bergeron: Governor Huckabee, give us
your seven word summary of
Tom Bergeron: the movie American History X.
Mike Huckabee: Somebody is taking
it in the teeth.
(bell rings)
Tom Bergeron: Senator Cruz, you are
running out of time in this
Tom Bergeron: election season. For 10 bucks
a pop from CNBC, would you
Tom Bergeron: just lay into everyone.
Ted Cruz: ...Donald Trump, are you a
comic book villain?
Ted Cruz: Ben Carson, can you do math?
Ted Cruz: John Kasich, will you insult
two people over here?
Ted Cruz: Marco Rubio, why don't you resign?
Ted Cruz: Jeb Bush, why have your numbers fallen?
Tom Bergeron: Money gun!
(crowd cheers)
Tom Bergeron: Alright, speed round.
Say something a President
Tom Bergeron: would never say.
Marco Rubio: I'm not sure it's a weakness.
Chris Christie: I'm the only person who's put out...
Mike Huckabee: It's like a 400 pound man
saying I'm going to go on
Mike Huckabee: a diet, but I'm gonna eat
a stack of Krispy Kremes before I do.
Ted Cruz: Hamburger prices have
gone up nearly 40% percent.
Jeb Bush: Don't vote for me...
Donald Trump: I like to be unpredictable.
Carly Fiorina: I will run on my record
all day long.
Ben Carson: This is a bunch of crap.
Tom Bergeron: Ladies and gentleman, thanks
for watching
Tom Bergeron: Run for the Cash.
It's a fun game, but in reality
Tom Bergeron: the future of our country,
and the world, hangs in the balance.
Tom Bergeron: Have a great night everybody!
(crowd cheers)
(Tom laughs)
(Funny or Die ending jingle plays)

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