or
There are a few things Rick Santorum should keep in mind before terminating his... more »
Published April 15, 2012 420k views Immortal More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Director - Andy Maxwell
Producer - Alex Richanbach
DP - Luca Del Puppo
Hair and Makeup - Emily Rae
Sound - BoTown Sound and Ryan Kaiser
PA - Eric Norwine
Written By - Dave Ferguson

Ashley Judd: Oh. Um, Mister Santorum, take a seat.

Katy Mixon: I understand you'd like to terminate your candidacy. And I am sure, pumpkin, that is a very hard decision for you.

Eliza Coupe: Sorry.

Katy Mixon: If you weren't mature enough to carry your candidacy to term, you shouldn't have engaged in the risky behavior that began it.

Michelle Trachtenberg: But, you made a mistake. Because you were thrust into a situation that you weren't ready for.

Eliza Coupe: And the next thing you knew, a good looking rich man took advantage of you.

Michelle Trachtenberg: Not your fault.

Katy Mixon: People might say you were askin' for it. I'm not saying that, but people are.

Eliza Coupe: I suppose adoption is out of the question. No one in their right mind would want you as a running mate.

Michelle Trachtenberg: [Sighs]

Ashley Judd: The financial burden, the risk of your political career, there is a lot at stake.

Eliza Coupe: [Growls] God! I'm just so glad you could step out of the race with your reputation and life intact.

Michelle Trachtenberg: What did you say? Make the best out of a bad situation.

Katy Mixon: I'm not judging you, though.

Michelle Trachtenberg: That's not me.

Ashley Judd: I mean, you're a grown man running for President, and I'm just a woman who's never worked in politics and couldn't possibly understand what you're going through. I mean, what am I doing even talking to you about this? But...[Sigh] here we are.

Eliza Coupe: The law requires me to tell you that as early as six weeks, a candidacy can have living, breathing supporters.

Michelle Trachtenberg: And before doing anything, I'll need your parental consent form.

Eliza Coupe: And you're gonna have to listen to your campaign manager's heart.

[Beep] [Coughs]

Michelle Trachtenberg: And, of course, you'll have to look at the sonogram of your campaign.

Rick Santorum: I'm ready to lead. I'm ready... [Echoes]

Eliza Coupe: [Shushes]

Ashley Judd: You'll also have to watch this. [Click]

Rick Santorum: You can't win. Can't win.

TV Personalities: It hurts. I am not a politician. Because people gotta know. I am suspending my, suspending, suspending, my pay and endorsing. A crook. Well after. Spending. My presidential campaign. [Slow Motion] Suspend our campaign today. [Click]

Ashley Judd: Okay. We'll finalize this after the mandatory seventy-two hour waiting period.

Eliza Coupe: And be careful on your way out. There's some really angry people out there.

Michelle Trachtenberg: Please. Take one of these.

Ashley Judd: Prayerfully consider what it has to say.

Michelle Trachtenberg: I don't want to have this conversation in another forty-eight months.

Katy Mixon: Just go ahead and stay home.

[Music Playing]

Advertisement
Advertisement

From Around the Web

More