- February 24, 2016
- 8.3k Views
February 24, 2016
Good morning Schitt's Creek!
Jennifer Robertson: So close this time.
Chris Elliott: I know. I'm always just
a little ahead of you.
Jennifer Robertson: No, it's me.
Chris Elliott: No, I think it's me.
Jennifer Robertson: I don't know.
Chris Elliott: Anyway, welcome
to the show.
Chris Elliott: How are you
Jennifer Robertson: I'm okay, honey. I'm a little sleepy today.
I'm not going to lie to you--
Chris Elliott: Chris: Why is that?
Jennifer Robertson: You know, there's a group of
birds in a tree outside
Jennifer Robertson: our bedroom window.
Chris Elliott: Chris: You are right.
Jennifer Robertson: Oh man. Between 5AM and 6AM
those chirpy little fuckers
Jennifer Robertson: have a lot to talk
about. Am I right?
Chris Elliott: They sure do. I wouldn't use that
language honey this early in the morning.
Jennifer Robertson: It's like a 1920s
[inaudible] out there.
Jennifer Robertson: [inaudible]
Jennifer Robertson: It's so loud.
Jennifer Robertson: What are you saying,
you birds, right?
Chris Elliott: I don't know.
I didn't hear'em.
Chris Elliott: But I went to the doctor
first thing this morning.
Jennifer Robertson: How was that?
I didn't ask. I'm sorry.
Chris Elliott: Uh, it was alright.
He found some things,
Chris Elliott: some nodules, a couple of boils,
something called a fistula,
Chris Elliott: that really, in places
I don't want to go into.
Chris Elliott: I didn't even know
existed on my body.
Chris Elliott: Let me put it to
you that way.
Jennifer Robertson: Yikes. I did see
one of the boils.
Chris Elliott: Did you?
Jennifer Robertson: Yep.
Chris Elliott: Anyways, today is a big
day on the show.
Chris Elliott: Yes, it is. We are introducing
a new segment on our show
Win a Call from
Chris Elliott: Now, how this works is we
have the numbers of all
Chris Elliott: 900 residents of
Jennifer Robertson: We do. I wrote
them out myself.
Chris Elliott: --in this tumbler right
here, and Jocelyn is
Chris Elliott: going to give it
a little tumble...
Chris Elliott: there you go.
Chris Elliott: And, there you go. Perfect.
Chris Elliott: And you're going
to pick out a number.
[music is playing]
Chris Elliott: Chris: Who's it going to be?
Chris Elliott: Who's it going to be?
Jennifer Robertson: Here.
Chris Elliott: And we're going to see who the
lucky participant is going to be.
Jennifer Robertson: Who is it?
Chris Elliott: L. Rose.
Chris Elliott: Who the hell is that?
Jennifer Robertson: It's Johnny.
Chris Elliott: Oh my God. Johnny Rose.
Chris Elliott: (laughs) How great. This is so
exciting- I'm so excited.
Chris Elliott: Alright, what's the number.
Tell me the number.
Jennifer Robertson: 5 5 5
[beeping from the telephone]
Chris Elliott: 5 5 5.
Jennifer Robertson: 2 3
Chris Elliott: 2 3 6 8.
Chris Elliott: Okay.
[phone is ringing]
Chris Elliott: Chris: I can't believe it's
Johnny Rose. It's ringing.
Eugene Levy: Eugene: Yeah. Hello?
Chris Elliott: (clears throat) Good morning
Jennifer Robertson: Good morning.
Chris Elliott: You are live with Wake Up
with the Schitts.
Chris Elliott: This is Roland Schitt and
Jocelyn is here with me.
Jennifer Robertson: I'm here too.
Chris Elliott: And your name has just
been picked to participate
Chris Elliott: in our new game on
the show called,
Chris Elliott: Win a Phone Call
from the Mayor.
Eugene Levy: Eugene: Roland. Roland.
What time is it?
Chris Elliott: Geeze. I don't know. You
mean eastern, mountain, or central?
Jennifer Robertson: It's a little early.
Jennifer Robertson: It's a bit early,
Jennifer Robertson: How's it going there Johnny?
What's the weather like there?
Chris Elliott: Yeah.
Chris Elliott: Got any rain, or anything
like that down there?
Eugene Levy: Eugene: Why are you calling,
and what time is it?
Chris Elliott: Well, it's probably raining,
I guess, over there,
Chris Elliott: because you're
two blocks away.
Jennifer Robertson: Okay, tell him
Chris Elliott: Listen, Johnny, let me
explain the rules to our
Chris Elliott: game here. By the way, have
you watched our show?
Chris Elliott: Are you a fan of the new
3 minute format?
Eugene Levy: Eugene: No. I've never seen it,
never planned on seeing it, and
Eugene Levy: what time is it?
Chris Elliott: Well that's odd to me,
because, you know,
Chris Elliott: according to the
demographics, we do very well
Chris Elliott: with the over 70 crowd.
So, I'm very surprised that
Chris Elliott: you have not
seen it. But, uh--
Eugene Levy: Eugene: Okay, I'm going
to hang up Roland--
Chris Elliott: That's okay.
Chris Elliott: Let me explain the rules
here. It's very simple.
Chris Elliott: All you need to do is
answer 3 questions pertaining
Chris Elliott: to our show, and if you
do, you will win a phone
Chris Elliott: call from me, Mayor Schitt
Chris Elliott: in the morning
Eugene Levy: Eugene: Roland, you
already called me.
Eugene Levy: We're on the
Eugene Levy: Why would I want to go
through this again?
Chris Elliott: Yeah, I know, but I will be
using my official mayor voice,
Chris Elliott: which is much deeper.
Jennifer Robertson: Much deeper.
Chris Elliott: Very professional.
Chris Elliott: Okay, so here are
Chris Elliott: Okay, what is the
name of our show?
Chris Elliott: What woke Jocelyn
up early this morning?
Chris Elliott: And what did the
doctor find on my body?
Eugene Levy: Eugene: I don't know.
I've never seen your show, Roland.
Eugene Levy: I have no idea what you
and your doctor do behind
Eugene Levy: closed doors.
Chris Elliott: Chris: Okay, John. That
sounds like a loser to me.
Jennifer Robertson: Not a phone call for you,
but no one is a total loser.
Chris Elliott: What do you got for
Jennifer Robertson: Our consolation prize,
Jennifer Robertson: is these.
Jennifer Robertson: My world famous,
cheddar baked apples.
Chris Elliott: Oh my...mmh!
Jennifer Robertson: We'll be coming by with
a plate for you Johnny.
Eugene Levy: Eugene: No. No. No.
Don't come over.
Jennifer Robertson: Jennifer: You hang tight.
We'll see you in a second.
Eugene Levy: Eugene: That would
not be wise.
Jennifer Robertson: Jennifer: Here
Chris Elliott: Chris: Okay Johnny. We're on
our way over there.
Chris Elliott: Chris: I'll get a picture
with ya. Okay?
Jennifer Robertson: Jennifer: (laughs) Okay.
Here we come.
Chris Elliott: Chris: Tell Moira to put something
decent on for crying out loud.
Eugene Levy: Eugene: Please don't.
Thanks again for the call.
Eugene Levy: Eugene: It's wonderful talking
to you Jocelyn,
Eugene Levy: Eugene: and Roland, please
don't do this again.