Jonathan loves three things - Allsaints, barrel curls, and Game of Thrones.
- May 04, 2015
- 190k Views
Starring - Jonathan Van Ness
Featuring - Missi Pyle
Director - Erin Gibson
Producers - Matt Mazany and Ross Buran
Writers - Erin Gibson, Jonny Mais, Mark Rennie
Editor - John Ford
Director of Photography - Matt Sweeney
Production Designer - Flower Cole
Gaffer - Daniella Nowitz
May 04, 2015
Jonathan Van Ness: Oh my god Missi, did you watch Game of Thrones this week?
Missi Pyle: I did. I thought it was going to be boring like all the
other weeks have been, but it was on fire.
> Thank god.
Oh my god, so first we were on a ship with Munch-Munch's best friend and Brother D,
and he tells Brother D how all the shit goes down in Dorne.
> All I want to do is fight and fuck, fuck and fight.
> So then Colonel Mustard is warning that everyone winter is coming,
but global warming must be happening in Westeros because winter never seems to come.
> I thought he looked like Colonel Sanders.
> So then Blonde Cher, and Barefoot Contessa is having a meeting of the minds,
and she wants to arm his family research counsel.
> And then the family research counsel starts murdering all the gays.
> I really hope that (inaudible) is okay, because he is so cute.
> How is he going to survive prison?
> Oh girl, we survive prison.
So then Marty is like Tom-tom you need to sort this shit out. They put my
brother in jail. I felt so bad for him.
> Yeah, he didn't do anything wrong.
He just wanted to get boned - Nice hot, way older lady lover.
> It's very like Greece.
> It is. It's like John Travolta is a lot older than Olivia Newton John right?
> Oh, I meant like, you know like in ancient Greece.
> Oh, right.
> Mean while Tubby Lubby is giving Jon Snow his outgoing emails, but
then Evil Stevie Nicks walks in, and tries to cast her pussy power over
> But she did it wrong, because everybody knows that when a guys
hand is on your vagina he's not listening.
> When you say vagina it doesn't gross me out anymore.
> I mean is it...(under her breath) vagina.
> You can say it out loud.
> Scream it from the rooftop.
> Vagina girl!
> So then dejected Evil Stevie Nicks walks out, but then she creepily turns
around and takes a page out of Downtown's book, and she's all...
> You know nothing Jon Snow.
> So then Brother D, and Munch-Munch's besty make their Dormers debut, and
they are powering up on a snake kabob when they get happened upon by the
Cavalia patrol. But when Brother D fights Shaq from Kazaam he turns
his weakness into his strength girl.
> But they have to move quickly, because Dornish Kris Kardashian,
and her daughters Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe is coming for them.
> So in the last scene all the Party City Marde Gras'ers are murdering all the
> And then more (inaudible) come around the corner to find out
what's going on, but then Evil Rosanna Rosanna Danna is like, "Oh, I think
I want that one. Oh no!"
> But then we have Boy Judi Dench coming in like what's he going to do,
but he did everything, but then totally at the end they both end up getting
their ass handed to them, and they are on the ground like we don't know if
they are dead or not.
> That's sad. I couldn't believe it.
> Like especially Baby Brock, like I love him.
> He's shorter than me, and doesn't have balls, and I would still like
gladly be his husband, and make a garden for him. I love him so I really
don't want him to die.
> Yeah, but he can probably feel
something down there right?
> I can make him feel something.
> I bet you can.
> Ooh-wee, this is giving me Myrcella realness.
> So hot.
> Where are...
> My dragons.