Will Ferrell's NYPD Recruitment Video

Actor

Will Ferrell

Producer

The_Other_Guys

Director

Eric Appel

Writer

Adam McKay

Writer

Lauryn Kahn

Cinematographer

Antonio Scarlata

Executive Producer

Funny Or Die

Additional Credits [+]

Old embed code (only works with browsers that support Adobe Flash)

Will Ferrell’s NYPD Recruitment Video – Transcript

The video opens with a shot of Will Ferrell in a suit and wearing glasses. He is standing in front of a curtain that has the New York City Police Department logo and NYPD, in large letters, hanging from it.

Will Ferrell: Hello out there. My name is Alan Gamble and I work for the New York City Police Department. When people think of excitement, they think of the NYPD. You need proof? Just think of the all the television shows and movies based on our men and women in blue. NYPD Blue. Law & Order. New York Undercover. The Departed. CSI Miami.

For each show and movie, an inset image appears showing the show or movie title.

Will Ferrell: Come along with me on a journey, up inside my butt and, believe me, there’s a lot of room. Okay. Wait, seriously, who wrote this?

The shot pulls back to reveal a man in a police uniform and a second man watching camera monitors.

Policeman: You saw the script. You approved it.

Will Ferrell: I did. I saw a different script than that.

Policeman: Alright, look, it’s a joke.

Will Ferrell: Alright, but you changed the prompter on me and I’m not a professional actor and I can’t make adjustments. Okay?

Policeman: We’ll fix it.

Will Ferrell: Being a police officer isn’t always about running in the streets and chasing down perps. Sometimes it’s about helping people and being a shoulder to cry on.

An inset appears, in which a clip from a Charles Bronson movie appears. In the clip, Charles Bronson uses a large, automatic weapon to shoot up a car and kill all the occupants. You listen to the citizens and then you try to make New York City a better place for them. That’s the job of a police officer.

The inset changes to show a large man in a leotard dancing to music. The caption beneath the video reads Allen Gamble Home Movies. Laughter can be heard off-camera.

Will Ferrell: Hey. What? What footage are you showing? Is this the appropriate footage for what I just said?

Policeman: It’s nothing. It’s nothing. Just keep going.

Will Ferrell: What do you mean, it’s nothing?

Policeman: It’s nothing. It’s nothing. It’s just you! Keep going.

Will Ferrell: Okay. Okay, but can I be honest? I don’t feel supported right now.

Policeman: Jesus Christ, Gamble, just read the fucking teleprompter.

Will Ferrell: Hey, watch your mouth.

Policeman: Shut up, Gamble.

Will Ferrell: You shut up! You shut up! I’m so fucking scared right now! You shut up!

Policeman: Gamble…

Will Ferrell: Are you doing this? No! I’m doing this!

Policeman: Yeah, okay, relax.

Will Ferrell: I’m sorry. Can we just. You may even get a chance to do work undercover, getting close to the criminals and putting their penises in your. You know what, guys?

Laughter can be heard off-camera.

Will Ferrell: I can appreciate a prank just as much as the next guy, but I’m starting to feel really taken advantage of.

Policeman: Come on, Gamble.

Will Ferrell: NYPD is about family, friendship, and, most importantly, justice. So if you want to start making a difference, become a police officer or detective for the NYPD and sign up today!

Will Ferrell punches up into the air and leaves his fist up in the air.

Will Ferrell: Are we freeze-framing on this?

Policeman: Yeah, you’ve got to hold it.

Will Ferrell: Oh, I thought we discussed it. I thought we were actually going to do a freeze-frame.

Policeman: Yeah, no, this is how they do it. We’ve got to get ten good seconds.

Will Ferrell: It’s not an effect?

Policeman: No.

Will Ferrell: Oh.

Policeman: Yeah.

Will Ferrell: Oh.

Will Ferrell continues to hold his arm in the arm, looking strained.

Policeman: You can’t move.

Will Ferrell: Okay. Are we going to add music to this? Like some Prince. Something badass, like some Prince?

There is a long pause, while Will Ferrell continues holding his fist in the air.

Will Ferrell: Can we just fade it out? My back. My fucking back.

Will Ferrell looks to be in intense pain and starts to cry.

Will Ferrell: Just freeze it.

The image freezes on Will Ferrell’s face, scrunched up in pain. The text - JOIN TODAY!!! – flashes on the screen. Prince plays in the background.