See what happens when a broke music-video director sells the creative rights to his latest project to anybody with an idea.
Published April 15, 2014 58k views More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Nick Kroll (Actor)
Andy Daly (Actor)
Stephanie Twyford Baldwin (Actor)
John Trowbridge (Actor)
Richie Rodriguez (Actor)
Charlie Hankin (Actor)
Real Estate (Actor)
Simone Duff (Production Designer)
Ikeem Allen (Actor)
Aedn Bowater (Actor)
Chiz Schultz (Actor)
Michael Lisk (Actor)
Tom Scharpling (Writer/Director)
Domino Records (Label)
Rob Hatch-Miller (Producer/Editor)
Puloma Basu (Producer)
Michael Rossetti (Cinematographer)
Additional Cast: Joy Song & Mackenzie Luzzi
Gaffer: Danny April
Steadicam: Jamie Northrup
1st ACs: Cole Koehler & Rebecca Rajadnya
2nd AC: Samantha Panger
Grips: Ethan June & Brian Yankou
Prop Master: Max Wixom
Hair & Makeup: Kristy Strate, Jess Coppa & Lilia Martinez
Wardrobe: Meghan Campbell
Colorist: Ben Murray, The Room
Motion Graphics: Joe Posner
Re-Recording Mixer: Dan Dzula
Key PA: James Kenny
Production Assistants: Barry Marino & Aaron Smith
Thanks: Allison Cohn, Nate Dern, No. 7 Restaurant, Tyler Kord, 5050 Skatepark, Ed Pollio, Angelica Popolano, Mick Management, Harrison Woliner, Kathi Scharer & Sean Marquand
"God Hates **** Picket" by John Lemieux is licensed under CC BY 2.0:
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/
2,491 Funny Votes
449 Die Votes
58,040 Views
Published April 15, 2014

HELLO. I'M TOM SCHARPLING.
I'M THE DIRECTOR OF THE VIDEO
THAT YOU'RE ABOUT TO SEE.
I'M WHAT'S KNOWN IN THE MUSIC
VIDEO BUSINESS AS AN AUTEUR.
I DIRECT THE VIDEO. I CREATE
THE CONTENT.
I'M ALSO EXPERIENCING WHAT'S
KNOWN AS MONEY TROUBLE.
SO, THIS TIME I AGREED FOR A
FEE TO LET SOMEONE ELSE
CREATE THE CONCEPT FOR THIS VIDEO.
UH, I ACTUALLY LET 3 DIFFERENT
PEOPLE CREATE THE CONTENT,
FOR THE VIDEO, BECAUSE I REALLY,
I'M GOING BROKE.
I HAVE NO MONEY, AT ALL.
SO, UH, ANYWAY, THIS VIDEO
IS REALLY GOING TO BE 3 DIFFERENT
VIDEOS. IT'LL ALL BE GREAT.
HEY, LET'S TALK ABOUT THE 3 PEOPLE
WHO HAVE PAID A SIZABLE
AMOUNT OF MONEY TO CONTRIBUTE
CONCEPTS TO THIS VIDEO.
WE HAVE A 24 YEAR OLD KID
NAMED JARED FRENKEL.
HE'S FROM LANCASTER PENNSYLVANIA
AND HE WOULD LIKE
THIS VIDEO TO SHOWCASE HIS SELF
PUBLISHED SERIES
OF SCIENCE FICTION NOVELS WHICH
ARE CALLED JARED FRANKEL'S
BLOOD LORDS.
IT SAYS HERE, THE BLOOD LORDS
NOVELS DEPICT A GANG OF
UNDEAD EXTREME SPORTS
ENTHUSIASTS WHO ARE ALWAYS
ON THE HUNT FOR BLOOD, AND
EROTIC ENCOUNTERS.
I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THAT (LAUGHS).
AND THEN THERE IS VALERIE ANDERSON,
AND SHE'S A 48
YEAR OLD WOMAN FROM IOWA CITY
WHO WOULD LIKE TO SEE
A VIDEO THAT PROMOTES HER ONLINE
CERAMIC SCULPTURE BUSINESS.
AND THE 3RD CONCEPT
WAS WRITTEN, BY A GENTLEMAN
NAMED FRED DOMBROWSKI, SR. HE
IS 78 YEARS YOUNG, AND
REALLY WOULD LIKE TO SEE A VIDEO
THAT BRINGS BACK THE
VALUES OF THE GOOD OL' DAYS.
OH, I ALSO, UH, MADE A SIDE DEAL
WITH THE RECORD LABEL TO
FIT IN A CELEBRITY CAMEO, SO
YOU'LL HAVE THAT TO LOOK FORWARD TO.
AND I SAID THERE WILL BE AT
LEAST 4 DIFFERENT PRODUCT
PLACEMENTS OF THE REAL ESTATE
ALBUM COVER.
SO, THAT'S ONE.
OK. OH, AND I TOOK $200 DOLLARS
JUST TO HAVE THE BAND
PERFORM IN A THAI RESTAURANT.
I WOULD SAY
THIS VIDEO HAS JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING.
IT'S GOT UNDEAD
SKATEBOARDERS, AND CERAMIC FIGURINES,
AND A TRIBUTE TO YESTERYEAR, A
CELEBRITY CAMEO, AND UH,
YOU KNOW, AT LEAST 4 DIFFERENT
PRODUCT PLACEMENTS OF THE REAL
ESTATE ALBUM COVER.
AND THAT'S TWO ALREADY. SO GREAT.
IT'S GOING GREAT SO FAR.
OH, AND I ALSO, SOLD A BLOCK
OF TIME TO THE WESTBORO
BAPTIST CHURCH.
IT'S GOING TO BE FINE.
OKAY, SO, WITHOUT
ANY FURTHER ADO I GIVE YOU
"CRIME", BY REAL ESTATE.
(MUSIC PLAYS,
"CRIME" BY REAL ESTATE)
TOSS AND TURN ALL NIGHT
DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT RIGHT
CRIPPLING ANXIETY
THIS CROWD WAS GROWING OLD
IF I MAY BE SO BOLD
WILL YOU GO STRAIGHT WITH ME?
I DON'T WANNA DIE
LONELY AND UPTIGHT
STAY WITH ME
ALL WILL BE REVEALED
I REMEMBER WHEN
THIS ALL FELT LIKE PRETEND
AND I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE
SPRUNG YOU FROM YOUR HOLE
WITH EVERYTHING YOU OWN
AS IF YOU WEREN'T ALREADY FREE
I DON'T WANNA DIE
LONELY AND UPTIGHT
STAY WITH ME
ALL WILL BE REVEALED
I DON'T WANNA DIE
LONELY AND UPTIGHT
STAY WITH ME
ALL WILL BE REVEALED
(DEMON LIKE LAUGHTER)

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