Celebrities See All

Close

Quick Links

or
Jonathan loves three things - SK-II water, a fierce fishtail braid, and Game of Thrones Season 4.
Published April 08, 2014 220k views Immortal More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Starring Jonathan Van Ness and Jeffery Self
Featuring - Alison Becker
Directed by Erin Gibson
Written by Erin Gibson and Jeffrey Self
Producer Matt Mazany and Ross Buran
DP - Cristina Dunlap
Editor - John Ford
Assistant Editor - Leann Bowen 
Camera Operator - Matt Sweeney 
Sound Mixer - Ryan Kaiser
Production Designer - Flower Cole

1

BOO BOO, DID YOU WATCH THE SEASON
PREMIERE OF GAME OF THRONES?

2

I WATCHED IT WITH THIS
MIXOLOGIST THAT I WENT HOME

3

WITH LAST NIGHT. SOME HARM
AND BRIMSTONE.

4

BOO-GIRL DID
YOU GUYS BANG IT OUT?

5

I GAVE HIM A BLOW JOB.

6

LAST NIGHT'S EPISODE WAS KIND OF LIKE
A BLOW JOB, EXCEPT FOR IT

7

GOT A LITTLE TOO SLOPPY, SO
YOU HAD TO GET LIKE A TOWEL

8

TO DRY IT OFF.

9

YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL JUST
START FROM THE BEGINNING.

10

11

SO PAPA LANNISTER IS GIVING
US FULL ON MARTHA STEWART

12

LIKE LETS GET GREEN WITH IT
MAKING NEW SWORDS FOR BROTHER D.

13

BUT BROTHER D GOT THIS HOT NEW
HAIR CUT. I'M TOTALLY LOVING IT.

14

HE'S SO QUICHE.

15

SOUNDS SO SEXY LIKE THE
MIXOLOGIST I WAS WITH LAST NIGHT.

16

HE PUT CAYENNE
PEPPER IN MY DRINK.

17

SO MR. SOPHIE (INAUDIBLE), AND
AT FIRST YOU WOULD THINK

18

HE'S TOTALLY GOING TO GET IT ON
ALL WITH CAPITAL CITY'S J-LO,

19

BUT THEN BROTHEL AARON
CARTER, AND I'M LIKE,

20

"WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A GAY
MOMENT ON GAME OF THRONES RIGHT NOW."

21

WHICH WAY DO YOU LIKE IT?

22

MY WAY.

23

ONE TIME I WENT DOWN ON A PERSIAN
GIRL IN THE BATHROOM

24

AT THE PIPE (INAUDIBLE).

25

EWAH. WERE YOU DRUNK?

26

A LITTLE BIT.

27

SO FINALLY CHRISTINA AGUILERA
AND IRA ARE REUNITED,

28

AND SHE'S TRYING TO HAVE LIKE A
MOTHERLY MOMENT WITH HER DRAGON.

29

SHE TOTALLY REACHES HER HAND IN
THERE, AND HER FUCKING BABY DRAGON

30

TURNS AROUND SHANKS HER HAND
OFF. KIND OF LIKE THE TIME

31

I TRIED TO GIVE MY DOG A HUG
WHEN SHE HAD HER HEAD IN THE

32

TRASH CAN, AND SHE TOTALLY
TURNED AROUND AND BIT ME IN THE FACE.

33

AND AS IT WOULD TURN OUT,
BABY BARACK OBAMA IS TOTALLY

34

IN LOVE WITH CHRISTINA
AGUILERA, AND SO IS MCGERA,

35

EXCEPT FOR THIS SEASON, MCGERA
HAS BEEN RECAST FOR SOMEONE

36

WAY MORE LIKE A BUSTED JOSH GROAN.

37

I THINK I HAD
SEX WITH JOSH GROBAN ONCE.

38

BUSTED REDHEAD GOT SO FUCKING
CRAY, BECAUSE HER

39

ENTIRE FAMILY GOT SHAMED. SO
SHE CAN'T EAT.

40

MY LADY, YOU DO NEED TO EAT.

41

WHERE IS MY WHOLE FAMILY
GOT SHAMED, I WOULD BE ALL

42

UP IN TACO BELL. I'D BE LIKE,
"CAN I GET THE 7 LAYER

43

BURRITO, ADD CHICKEN, ADD
GUACAMOLE. I NEED A CHICKEN

44

QUESADILLA, A LARGE
THING OF CINA-TWISTS,

45

TWO DOUBLE DECKER CHICKEN TACOS
SOUR CREME, WITH AN OG MEXIMELT,

46

AND I ALSO WANT THAT CARMEL
APPLE EMPANADA.

47

SO, I'M FULL ON JELLY.COM OF
BROTHER D'S NEW SMALL WONDROUS

48

HAND. IT'S SO COOL THAT IT
REALLY DOESN'T MATTER

49

BLONDE CHER, BECAUSE SHE'S NOT
HAVING ANY OF IT.

50

SHE'S LIKE SWIPING TO THE LEFT ON HIM.

51

52

SO DONNA'S GETTING CALLED OUT
BY HER BOSS FOR LETTING

53

JOHN SNOW GET AWAY, AND SHE WAS
LIKE, "WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?

54

THE D'S WAY TO FAT, IT'S WAY
TO GOOD. I CAN'T TAKE IT."

55

OF COURSE SHE DIDN'T SAY THAT TO
HIM. SHE JUST HAD THAT DICK

56

WHIPPED LOOK IN HER EYES.
WHICH YOU KNOW WE'VE BOTH HAD

57

THAT LOOK BEFORE, HAVEN'T WE?
BUT THEN ALABASTER SEAL

58

ROLLS UP FROM BEHIND, AND HE'S
ALL LIKE,

59

(SINGS) "YOU'RE NEVER GOING
TO SURVIVE, UNLESS YOU

60

GET A LITTLE CRAZY."

61

AND OF COURSE JOHN SNOW'S ON
TRIAL WITH A PANEL OF HAGGARD

62

QUEENS ARE DIDDLING DOWN TO ME
LIKE, " WE GOTTA KILL YOU."

63

AND HE'S LIKE, "WAIT, YOU NEED
TO SMELL WHAT I'M STEPPING IN.

64

THEY ARE ALL COMING FOR YOU.
ALL THE WILD MEN, AND

65

THEY'RE LIKE, "ALRIGHT BOO-BOO
WE'RE GOING TO LET YOU KEEP YOUR

66

HEAD ON FOR A MINUTE."

67

AND THEN THAT PUNY BITCH,
POWER BOTTOM KING JOFFREY

68

WAS THROWING SOME SERIOUS SHADE
OF BROTHER D, BECAUSE

69

HE'S ALL LIKE, "BROTHER D,
HOW COME YOU'RE IN THIS

70

ANTHROPOLOGIE CATALOG FOR
KING'S LANDING KNIGHT?"

71

THEN BABY CHRIS, AND STUART, AND
LEFT EYE, GOT THEMSELVES

72

IN A PICKLE AT THE PUB. AGRO MALE
SINEAD O'CONNOR, IS ALL LIKE,

73

"COME WITH US TO THE KING."
AND LEFT EYE IS ALL LIKE,

74

"FUCK THE KING. HE CAN GET
DRY SHOCKERED WITH TWO FISTS.

75

I HATE THAT MOTHER FUCKER."

76

AND THEN LEFT EYE GIVES HIS
FULL KNEE ON THE CAMEL REALNESS, AS

77

HE THROWS THE TABLE OVER
SINEAD O'CONNOR, AND THEN BABY

78

KRISTEN STEWART'S GIVING ME
FULL ON LIKE WALLFLOWER, AND I'M LIKE,

79

"KIND OF GET WITH IT WITH IT. YOU
MURDERED PEOPLE BEFORE."

80

AND THEN SHE TOTALLY DOES.
SHE KICKS IT INTO OVERDRIVE.

81

SHE SHANKS THAT ONE GUY, THEN
SHE FUCKING STABS THE OTHER

82

GUY IN THE THROAT. AND DID YOU
SEE THAT PART? ALL OF THAT

83

BLOOD STARTED REGURGITATING OUT
OF HIS MOUTH.

84

UM, I HAD SOMETHING ELSE COMING
OUT OF MY MOUTH AT

85

THAT TIME.

86

HONEY IF YOU'RE GOING TO GET TO
THE FINISH YOU JUST GOT TO

87

TAKE A PAGE OUT OF MY BOOK, AND SWALLOW...

88

OK. YEAH.

89

90

YES, YES, YES. THIS IS GIVING ME
FULL BLOWN E-GRANT REALNESS.

91

OH MY GOD. I LOVE IT. I'M GOING
TO GO RIGHT BACK OUT,

92

AND SUCK SOME DICKS.

93

CAN I COME WITH?

94

95

WHERE ARE...

96

MY DRAGONS?

97

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS
TALKING ABOUT?

98

Advertisement
Advertisement

From Around the Web

More