Vampire Make-up Tutorials and Heartbreak

(spooky music plays)

> RARR! SORRY DID I SCARE YOU?
TONIGHT ME AND MY
ROOMMATE ARE GOING TO A
HALLOWEEN PARTY, SO I'M
GOING TO DEMO THIS LOOK ON HIM.
I KNOW, I KNOW, YOU DON'T
USUALLY SEE TWO VAMPIRES
TOGETHER SINCE NOSFERATU
HAS NO FRIENDS, BUT (laughs)...
SERIOUSLY?

> YEAH, READY.

> ALRIGHT, STEP 1, YOU APPLY
A BASE OF WHITE FOUNDATION.

> DUDE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

> YOU SAID YOU'D BE
A VAMPIRE WITH ME - YOU SAID
YOU'D DO THIS.
YEAH, I'M ALREADY A VAMPIRE.
I'M IN COSTUME -
SICK JEAN JACKET, SWEET HAIR,
SAD EYES.

> WHAT? YOU LOOK LIKE YOU
WORK IN A KARAOKE BAR.
EWAH...
(inaudible)
NOW I LIVE IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE,
OR TRUE BLOOD OR WHATEVER.

> WHAT IS THAT A BLOOD
LOLLIPOP OR SOMETHING?
NO, IT'S A REGULAR LOLLIPOP.
I TOLD YOU,
GIRLS LOVE WATERMELON.
DUDE YOU JUST MESSED UP YOUR
HAIR POINT.

> IT'S A WIDOWS PEAK!
YOU ARE GOING TO BE SO EMBARRASSED
WHEN YOU GET TO
THIS PARTY.

> OK.
(rock music plays)
Male voice: RARR...

> JESUS...

> SO WHAT ARE YOU TWO?
LET ME GUESS. SEXY INDIANA JONES,
AND SEXY KATY PERRY?

> YES.

> NO, JUST KATY PERRY.

> DOPE.

> RARR!

> WHAT ARE YOU?

> I'M A VAMPIRE.

> A CLOWN VAMPIRE?

> WHERE DID YOU GET...
PUT THE BAT AWAY.

> (inaudible)
RARR...
I WANT TO SUCK YOUR BLOOD.

> AND I WANT YOUR PHONE
NUMBER, SO - WANT TO JUST TYPE IT
IN AND I TEXT YOU?

> YEAH.

> WELL, IT TURNS OUT
THAT HALLOWEEN IS
NOT ABOUT COSTUME ACCURACY.
IT'S ABOUT SEX AND CANDY.
SO I GUESS THAT OLD
SONG IS TRUE.

> HI.

> HI. NICE COSTUME.
YOU'RE A SALEM WITCH?

> YEAH. THANKS. SPENT
WEEKS GETTING IT READY,
BUT IT'S NOT SEXY, SO NO
ONE WILL TALK TO ME.

> I'M HAVING THE SAME PROBLEM.

> REALLY?
WELL, MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE
PEOPLE ARE SCARED OF VAMPIRES.
NOSFERATU HAS NO FRIENDS.

> I LOVE YOU.

> OK.

> HEY GUYS, COULD
YOU KEEP IT DOWN, AND GO
SOMEWHERE ELSE?
I'M TRYING TO GET WITH THIS WITCH.
(sounds of making out is heard)

> SO, WHY DO YOU
HAVE THAT CAMERA?

> IT'S A MAKE-UP
TUTORIAL.
(music plays out)