You must Login or Signup to favorite things (it's not hard!)

You must Login or Signup to use playlists (it's not hard!)

You must Login or Signup to report abuse (it's not hard!)

The video opens with a shot of feet moving down a sidewalk. There is litter being dragged beneath the feet as the move in shuffle, rather than a stride.

Ed Helms (voiceover): I was mad at first, yeah. I was mad as hell. But, now, I really take pride in it…

The shot pans up to reveal Ed Helms walking down a city street. His face is in makeup that makes him appear to be one of the walking dead.

Ed Helms (voiceover): …and I see I see it as sort of my mission to get the message out there…

The shot cuts to an interior setting with a headshot of Ed Helms.

Ed Helms: …that we’re not, not so bad.

Folksy guitar music begins to play and the shot goes black. The words –Zombie-American – appears on the screen, fades out, and is replaced by the words – Chapter 1. The shot cuts back to the interior setting.

Ed Helms: My name is Glen and I’m a zombie.

The shot cuts back to an exterior shot of Ed Helms walking down the street.

Ed Helms (voiceover): I choose to present myself as a zombie who wants to get…

The shot cuts back to the interior setting.

Ed Helms: an image of zombies out there that’s a little different from the conventional zombie stereotype.

The shot cuts to Ed Helms walking down the street again. Two random strangers coming out of doorway hail Ed Helms in a friendly way.

Ed Helms (voiceover): I like to sort of stay away from what a zombie is…

The shot cuts back to the interior setting.

Ed Helms: …technically, because that sort of makes up seem freakish.

The shot cuts back to Ed Helms walking down the street.

Ed Helms (voiceover): The thing that most people know, which is true, is that we are walking dead.

The shot cuts back to the interior setting.

Ed Helms: What most people don’t realize is that we do a lot of things besides just walk.

The shot cuts to Ed Helms reading a book with Bill Clinton’s face on the cover.

Ed Helms (voiceover): I like to curl up with a good book. (non-voiceover) Ha, ha, ha, ha. What a cad.

The shot cuts back to the interior setting.

Ed Helms: I like, you know, to do the crossword puzzle.

The shot cuts to Ed Helms doing a crossword.

Ed Helms (voiceover): And, I’m not going to lie to you, the only thing I enjoy more than doing the crossword puzzle, is finishing it.

The shot cuts back to the interior setting.

Ed Helms: One way that I like to chill out, calm myself down, is to play my guitar.

Ed Helms picks up a guitar and plays briefly.

Ed Helms: Play a little bit of music.

The shot cuts to Ed Helms walking down a street.

Ed Helms (voiceover): I really like helping people. (non-voiceover, speaking to a passerby) You guys lost. (voiceover) It’s something I like to do, make people feel good about themselves. (non-voiceover, looking at a map) This way. To the bridge, yeah, it’s this way (points).

Passerby: Thank you.

Ed Helms: You’re welcome. Take care.

The shot cuts to Ed Helms sitting on the front steps of a building.

Ed Helms (voiceover): It’s a rough road being a zombie. There’s a lot of anti-zombie sentiment out there.

The shot cuts to Ed Helms walking down the street with his arm held out at a bizarre angle.

Ed Helms (voiceover): People think that zombies walk funny.

The shot cuts to the interior setting.

Ed Helms: Well, we do walk a little bit unusual.

The shot cuts back to Ed Helms out on the sidewalk, banging his arm against a fence.

Ed Helms (voiceover): It has to do with joint decay, cartilage decay, tendon decay.

The shot cuts back to the interior setting.

Ed Helms: Another stereotype that’s out there is that all we eat are brains. Ha, ha, you know. Bullshit. I like a ham sandwich now and then.

The shot cuts to Ed Helms in the bathroom brushing his hair.

Ed Helms (voiceover): A lot of people just assume that because you’re a zombie, you’re grotesque looking.

The shot cuts back to the interior setting.

Ed Helms: I’ll admit, I’m not Fabio, but I think I’m pretty put together, a pretty handsome guy.

The shot cuts back to Ed Helms in the bathroom.

Ed Helms: Gotta look good. Gotta look my best.

Ed Helms cleans some of the sore on his face with a Q-tip. At one point, he passes the Q-tip into one sore and out of another.

Ed Helms: Oh, there it is. Ha, ha. Can your friend do that? I don’t think so. That’s good stuff. That’s a great party trick too.