Homosexuwhales: episode 2

Imagine yourself at a great party. Drunk chicks are grinding on any guy they see, similar to the manner of ... more >

Imagine yourself at a great party. Drunk chicks are grinding on any guy they see, similar to the manner of a Juvenile video. Guys are screaming and yelling for no apparent reason, some of which actually think they are Japanese movie monsters (think Mecha-Godzilla vs Ghidira while they are both high on PCP). Rockband is blaring from the living room and everyone wants to play the Metallica song. In a sea of empty beer bottles and Vitamin Energy cans, some crazy bastard kicks the pong table over to announce that he is baking cookies and making pancakes. Now where do you see yourself at this party? Doing a keg stand? Nope. Scammin' some broad to sneak into the downstairs bathroom? Sorry. Telling everyone you are okay to drive? Maybe later. Actually Co-Editor-in-Chief Andrew Sotiriou is holding your hair back forcibly while you are puking into the kitchen sink. His cohorts, Chris Olivieri and Carlo Montagnino are right behind you kicking your knees out and laughing hysterically, while referencing Pauly Shore's classic Jury Duty. "Judge Ito! Have some of my burrito!" The Dog and Pony Show is a multimedia website created to lure you down the rabbit hole into the cavernous, spacious vagina we call our brains. You may be wondering what that last statement actually means...well we are college graduates so you should trust that we know what we're talking about. The first thing we want to get across to you is that we speak truths (our perspective is your reality, deal with it). The second thing we want you to understand is this is fun, this is for us, and if you wanna party like we do, we whole heartedly encourage you to join us. Who is throwing this party? Who are the mental midgets allowing you to crap in the soap dish of their parents private bathroom? Us. Andrew: How are you guys doing today? My name is Andrew, I'm a tenacious Capricorn. I enjoy sleeping, long walks on deserted pathways, sicking my dog on intruders who have ill intentions towards my well being, harassing church-goers, and watching Naruto. Girls, comment my page, if your user pic meets my mother's standards (she's a great cook), I will most likely make direct contact with you. By direct contact, I mean uncomfortable direct contact. You will be treated like a geisha from Konoha. Drew also believes that Chris and Carlo are out to get him. Chris: Hey kids, my name is Chris, and I swear to God I'm not gay. Although, I am known to have woken up in bed after a night of roulette and margaritas (no salt!) with many a DAPS writer. My favorite movie is American Beauty, I am an avid fan of American Idol, and I miss Veronica Mars a whole lot...What?!?! Kristen Bell is hot! So ladies you can hit me up as well, take that Drew! Carlo: I'm Carlo, I post my poop on the internet. I have poor hygiene and this is evident in the fact that I brush my teeth 4 times a week and clean my ears once a month. I also try not to wear much deodorant because my lady digs the eau de carlox. I can be found most often yelling at people for liking things in public. My number one pet-peeve is when people link to their own personal websites on other projects. Douchebags. Also on board is a crack squad of talented writers, directors, actors, lobsterians, musicians, DJs, and Damian Thomas. These guys are funny and work because we are incredibly persuasive. They need your support so show them mad love/props/naked pics/sandwiches etc. < less