Add to Playlist

You are viewing Favorites - 3 of 5
John and Will's Animal Choices is one of the best new shows around and you can... more »
Published January 13, 2011 1.3m views More Info »

Voiceover: This season
on Funny or Die Presents.
John: (sigh)
Will: Hey, John. What are you doing?
John: I'm thinking about something.
Will: Can you share it with me?
John: I'm trying to decide what kind
of animal I would be if
I could be an animal.
Will: That's what everyone's thinking.
John: Let's just both think out loud.
Will: What sort of animal we'd like to be.
John: Exactly.
Will: Okay.
Both: Rhinocerous, Aardverger,
Fraw Robin, L'Ocelot.
John: Snake.
Baby Snake.
Will: Horse. Pony.
John: A mouse with a pouch.
Will: Any sort of fish.
John: Zebra.
Will: Zebra.
John: No, I said Zebra.
Will: Zebra.
John: (sigh) Are you
going to say the animal?
Will: Don't say it.
John: Phew. Baboon
Will: Barbara, the name Barbara.
John: We're not getting anywhere.
Will: It's literally the
hardest thing I've ever done.
John: I know.
John: Ahhh.
Will: Ahh.
John: Arrrh.
Will: Arrrh.
John: Roar.
Will: Roar.
(jungle music)
John: I'm a monkey.
I'm a little, little monkey.
I like to jump around.
I like to look down from my high up
on the tree post. Arrh.
I like to eat fruit,
um, um, a little monkey.
Will: I'm a lion and I eat monkeys.
Will: Rrrrr.
It's the only thing I love is monkey meat.
Will: Rrrrr.
And I love when they cry
when they're in my teeth.
Will: Rrrrr.
Johh: What purpose does the sandbag serve?
Will: I want to be a cheetah.
Are the bars necessary?
Male: It's called being keyed out.
Will: And we're in an animated world?
Male 1: Yes.
Male 2: You're the animals.
The animal world is behind you.
You have to be very steady.
Will: Okay.
John: Couldn't we have something
that was the same color
that wasn't 15 pounds?
Will: Yeah, like a piece of
paper that would just ...
Male 1: You know what happens then?
It sags.
John: All right.
Will: Ow.
John: Should we take a run at it?
Voiceover: And action.
Will: Now guess what?
I'm going to shit that
monkey out of my ass.
Grrr.
John: (spits) I'm a
little monkey. (laughs)
Will: I'm going to eat
you up again. (laughs)
Will: I've got an appetite
for monkeys, Rrrr,
all day long.
I eat and shit monkeys all day long
because I'm the king of the beasts.
Rrrrr.
Thus is the cycle of life. Rrrrr.
John: (spits) I'm a
little monkey. (laughs)
Will: Rrrrr.
John: (laughs)
Will: Rrrr.
John: (laughs)
Voiceover: Funny or Die Presents
premieres Friday at midnight only on HBO.

Advertisement
Advertisement

From Around the Web