You're Welcome: Brazillian Soccer Sadness and Cupcake Bankruptcy

Full Credits

Darryl Gudmundson: Writer/Producer
Dashiell Driscoll: Writer/Actor
Ally Hord: Writer/Producer
Elizabeth Baquet: Producer
Ryan Kaiser: Sound
Aaron Ulrich: DP
Erin Blinn: Hair and Makeup
Sam Fishell: Director
Matt Sweeney: Editor

Stats & Data

702Funny
297Die
25,270
Views
July 11, 2014
Published

Transcript

HI FOLKS. DASHIELL DRISCOLL HERE.
THE INTERNET IS FUN.
DON'T TAKE MY WORD FOR IT.
LOOK AT ALL THE AWESOME
STUFF WE FOUND.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
(electro-pop music plays)
GERMANY ABSOLUTELY
DEMOLISHED THE BRAZILIAN
SOCCER TEAM WITH A RECORD
BREAKING 7 TO 1 VICTORY
THIS WEEK. SOMEONE
PHOTOGRAPHED THIS
MUSTACHIOED BRAZIL FAN
CLINGING TO HIS TROPHY
WHILE HE WATCHED IT ALL GO DOWN.
FORTUNATELY THE INTERNET
STEPPED IN, AND TURNED HIS
FROWN UPSIDE DOWN.
O-OH HIS, HIS EYES ARE...
THEY'RE SO SAD THOUGH.
OK YES, SOMEONE ELSE MADE
HIM LOOK LIKE GOLLUM,
SURE WHY NOT. BUT OUR
FAVORITE REACTION HAD TO BE
RICKY GERVAIS WITH
THIS AMAZING TWEET.
THIS WON'T BE THE FIRST
TIME THAT THOUSANDS OF
GERMANS WILL HAVE TO LIE
LOW IN BRAZIL FOR A WHILE
FOR THEIR OWN SAFETY.
A PLUS RICKY. THAT'S JUST,
THAT'S REALLY GOOD STUFF.
CRUMBS BAKERIES CLOSED ALL
OF IT'S GOURMET CUPCAKE SHOPS
THIS WEEK. EVERY SINGLE ONE.
BUT YOU WOULDN'T KNOW THAT
BY CHECKING THEIR TWITTER,
FACEBOOK, THEIR
OFFICIAL WEBSITE.
GET IT TOGETHER CRUMBS.
YES, YOU'RE BASICALLY
PASTRY CON ARTISTS SELLING
$5 DOLLAR POUNDS OF SUGAR,
BUT DIE WITH A LITTLE ONLINE DIGNITY.
OR YOU COULD JUST LEAVE
YOUR PAGE UP FOREVER LIKE
THE SPACE JAM WEBSITE.
EXCEPT SPACE JAM IS
AWESOME, AND CRUMBS
THAT WAS JUST AN
EXPENSIVE WAY TO GET FAT.
ALRIGHT, THAT'S ALL
FOR THIS WEEK.
BYE.

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