An Epidemic of Masturbatory Proportions

Anthony Adornetto’s Bio, Written by his Arch Nemesis, Daniel “Do Nothing” Martin Anthony claims to be ... more >

Anthony Adornetto’s Bio, Written by his Arch Nemesis, Daniel “Do Nothing” Martin Anthony claims to be a hot young Sketch Comedian, Stand-Up Comic, and Actor who Writes, Performs, and in many cases Directs his own material. I’d like to direct him to a high mountain, so he can tip over and die. Anthony is a Magna Cum Laude graduate of the USC School of Cinematic Arts… His admittance proves that the university doesn’t discriminate against students with waxy ears. Anthony has trained and performed all around Los Angeles at The Comedy Store, Second City, Improv Olympic, blah, blah, blah—The point is that any comedy club is funny… except when Anthony’s around! Anthony has appeared in numerous films, on NBC's Last Comic Standing, and can soon be seen at Forest Lawn Mortuary—after I bury him alive. Anthony’s hobbies include being a loser. He spends his days getting beat up by weak children and waiting for phone calls, but his line never rings because he has no friends... or talent. I hope Anthony spills hot tomato bisque on his lap! I hope a trolley hits him! I hope he gets soap in his eyes! You’re a jerk, Anthony! < less