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This week's Throwing Shade is so confusing it will bruise your brain. First, Rick... more »
Published June 17, 2014 85k views More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Starring Erin Gibson & Bryan Safi
Written by Erin Gibson & Bryan Safi
Camera Op: Cristina Dunlap
Editor: Ian Skalski
Camera Op: Matt Sweeney
Art: Tricia Robertson
Follow Erin & Bryan on Twitter
Erin:
http://www.twitter.com/gibblertron
Bryan:
http://www.twitter.com/bryansafi

(ERIN): THIS IS
(ERIN AND BRYAN TOGETHER): THROWING SHADE.
(BRYAN): WHERE FEMINASTY ERIN GIBSON,
(ERIN): AND HOMOSENSUAL BRYAN SAFI,
(BRYAN): TAKE A LOOK AT THE HEADLINES AND POLITICS,
(ERIN): AND POP CULTURE,
(BRYAN) AND TREAT THEM WITH MUCH
LESS RESPECT THAN THEY DESERVE.
(ERIN): CAN YOU HANDLE IT?
I HAVE A VERY
INTERESTING CONUNDRUM
FOR YOU--
- OH...
- AND I DON'T KNOW IF
YOU'LL KNOW THE ANSWER TO IT.
IF WE WERE TO DO A
RE-MAKE OF THE
BANGER SISTERS.
BANGER SISTERS 2.
OK.
(ERIN): WOULD YOU BE
GOLDIE HAWN?
(BRYAN): I THINK I WOULD
HAVE TO BE BECAUSE
I THINK YOU WOULD
DEFINITELY BE...
(TOGETHER): SUSAN SARANDON.
SO I THINK I WOULD
BE GOLDIE HAWN.
BUT I FEEL LIKE WE'RE
JUST A TAD BIT DIFFERENT.
I AGREE. IN THAT SUSAN
SARANDON IS SORT
OF THE STRAIGHT MAN...
YEAH.
AND GOLDIE HAWN IS
THE GOOFBALL--
THE GOOFY. ALCOHOLIC?
WE'RE BOTH THOSE
THINGS.
WE'RE BOTH GOOFY
ALCOHOLICS.
- WE'RE BOTH...
- YEAH.
WE'RE BOTH ALCOHOLICS
WHO PUT ON GOOFY MASKS
AND HANG OUT LIKE
NO BIG WHOOP.
BUT SOMETIMES WE'RE THE
SERIOUS STRAIGHT MAN.
YEAH.
ERIN, WE WERE IN NEW YORK
AND PHILADELPHIA
THIS WEEKEND.
WE WERE IN
NEW YORK CITY.
WE WERE.
(ERIN GIGGLES)
- VERY FANCY.
- SO RAINY AND SEXY.
I FELT LIKE I WAS IN AN
AFTER MIDNIGHT OR
BEFORE MIDNIGHT MOVIE.
OH YEAH.
I FELL LIKE IT WAS ME
AND ETHAN HAWKE AGAINST
THE WORLD.
I FELT LIKE I WAS IN
PERMANENT MIDNIGHT.
- OOH YEAH.
- YEAH.
IT WAS REALLY--
NO BUT THERE WAS A
THUNDERSTORM, AND
WE HAVEN'T HAD A
T-STORM IN LA IN...
GOD. I REALLY CAN
ONLY DEAL WITH T-ZONES.
YEAH. WHAT'S LED? IS THAT A--
IT'S A LIGHT. IT'S A
TYPE OF LIGHT.
I KNOW, BUT WHY
DO THEY SAY LED TV?
OR IS THAT NOT
A THING?
IT'S THE TYPE OF
LIGHT, OK--
WHY DON'T THEY
JUST DO HDTV?
SD AND HD ARE
THE WAY--
HOLD ON.
SD IS STANDARD DEF.
(TOGETHER): HD IS
HIGH DEF.
BUT IT HAS TO DO
WITH HOW YOU--
MD IS MOST DEF?
- YEAH, OR MEDICAL
DOCTOR.
- RIGHT.
IT'S HOW YOU FILM
THE THING. SO YOU COULD
VIEW SD ON A HD TV,
AND IT LOOKS SHITTY--
RIGHT. I'VE DONE THAT.
BUT LED IS THE ACTUAL
TECHNOLOGY OF THE LIGHT
WHERE IT'S GOING FROM
THE TV TO YOUR EYEBALL.
AND SD/HD--
YOU KNOW WHY DO THEY
ADVERTISE THAT, BECAUSE
NO ONE CARES.
YEAH PEOPLE, I
THINK DO CARE.
NOBODY CARES.
ALL THE BILLBOARDS
ARE LED NOW.
THE BILLBOARDS
OUTSIDE?
THE ELECTRONIC
BILLBOARDS ARE ALL
LED BILLBOARDS.
NO, I MEAN FINE, BUT
LIKE WHO CARES.
IF SOMEONE TOLD ME--
LIGHT BULB COMPANIES CARE.
WELL...
ALL THE EDISON...
I THINK WE NEED TO GO
BACK TO EDISON BULBS.
I DO TOO. I DO TOO.
YOU KNOW IF SOMEONE
TELLS ME LIKE OH THIS
TV HAS LED. I'M LIKE
WELL, WHATEVER FINE.
I MEAN WHO CARES--
YEAH BUT YOU DON'T
CARE ABOUT THAT STUFF ANYWAY--
I DON'T CARE WHAT KIND
OF LIGHT BULB IS IN THAT TV.
YOUR TV STILL HAS
THE CLICK-CLICK WHEEL.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND
THAT AT THIS POINT
I HAVE SO MANY
REMOTES ON MY GROUND
THAT I CAN'T EVEN SEE
MY FLOOR ANY LONGER?
YEAH.
I HAVE APPROXIMATELY
REMOTE CONTROLS.
AND WHEN YOU STEP,
IT'S LIKE EVERYTHING
GOES OFF AND ON.
WHEN YOU STEP TO THE KITCHEN.
THERE'S NEVER BEEN
ONE THING OFF IN MY
APARTMENT. THAT IS
EXACTLY WHY MY ELECTRIC
BILL IS $500
DOLLARS A DAY.
THAT'S WHY.
WHAT DOES MOVIES USE?
BUT WHAT DO THEY
DO FOR LED?
- OH THE SCREENS?
- YEAH.
IT'S A PROJECTOR.
OH THAT'S SO...
(LAUGHS) OH MY GOD...
I WISH I COULD
SAY THAT THIS
CONVERSATION
WAS A JOKE.
IT'S NOT.
THIS IS ABSOLUTELY
NOT A JOKE.
YEAH.
- WE WOULD BE THE BEST
TIME TRAVELERS--
- YEP.
--BECAUSE YOU COULD
DO THE BUTTONS,
AND THEN I COULD
SAY WHERE WE ARE.
I WOULD DO ALL THE
TECHNOLOGY ON HOW
TO GET US BACK AND
FORTH IN TIME, BECAUSE
I'VE ALREADY DONE IT.
YEAH.
I PATENTED IT SO
DON'T TRY TO FUCKING
STEAL IT SOCIETY.
IT'S NOT FOR YOU
IT'S FOR ME.
YEAH. I'M NOT
DOING THIS...
EVERYONE'S GOTTEN
SO SELFISH--
I'M NOT DOING THIS
TESLA SHIT WHERE
I'M GIVING AWAY MY
PATENTS. WE'RE NOT DOING THAT.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
THAT MEANS, BUT I--
HE'S GIVING AWAY
HIS PATENTS.
TESLA?
- ELON MUSK MY FAVORITE PARFUMERIE.
- UH HUH.
HE'S GIVING AWAY
HIS PATENTS.
TO TESLA?
NO HE HAS TESLA.
OOH. WHAT DOES THAT
MEAN? EVERY ONE KNOWS
HOW TO MAKE A CAR.
WELL, I KNOW IT'S NOT
IMPRESSIVE WITH WHAT
YOU'RE SAYING--
I THINK HE'S THINKING
HE'S GOT THE CURE
FOR RABIES--
IS TESLA THE SAME
AS FIAT? AND THAT'S A
SERIOUS QUESTION.
NO THAT'S A
SEPARATE COMPANY.
TESLA ONLY DOES
ELECTRONIC CARS--
TESLA'S A PERSON?
ELECTRONIC RACE
CARS. OR FAST CARS.
I DON'T CARE, I MEAN
AS FAR AS--
HE DOES TRACY
CHAPMAN FAST CAR--
OOH...
THAT WAS HIS INSPIRATION
FOR THE TESLA
FOR THE TESLA?
YOU KNOW WHAT,
THEY CAN RIDE AROUND
THAT DOUGHNUT ALL
THEY WANT.
ALL THEY WANT.
IT'S GOOD FOR NOBODY.
WELL I THINK WE FIGURED
OUT, WE'RE GOING TOGETHER--
BANGER SISTERS...
--ON BANGER SISTERS, LED, TESLA--
TV'S.
--TV'S, TIME MACHINE TRAVEL--
YEAH.
--AND THAT'S IT, SO UH,
READY TO BE A BILLIONAIRE?
AM I EXCITED TO BE
TALKING ABOUT TEXAS
TWO WEEKS IN A
ROW? MAYBE--
YEAH.
I AM, IT'S OUR HOME STATE.
AND TACOS...
THE FIRST PART OF
THIS IS LATTER WEEK
NEWS, AND UH...
IT'S OLD NEWS.
UH-HUH. AND THE 2ND
PART OF THIS IS BRAND NEWS.
IT'S THE FIRST RUNG
OF THE LADDER.
- YEAH.
- YEAH.
RICK PERRY WHO
IS SOMEHOW--
(ERIN): OH MY HERO.
(BRYAN): --SOMEHOW
STILL AROUND.
SOMEHOW AFTER THAT
HUMILIATING LAST PRIMARY
HE'S STILL A
POLITICAL FIGURE.
WELL YOU KNOW WHAT
THEY SAY ABOUT POLITICIANS?
CAN'T WAIT.
IF YOU HAVE ALL OF
YOUR HAIR, YOU'RE IN
THE CLEAR.
WELL THEN YOU KNOW--
IF YOU'RE BALD GET
THE FUCK OUT.
YEAH. IN CASE YOU
DON'T KNOW WHAT
HE SAID LAST WEEK--
I'M SAYING HE'S
HANDSOME SO HE'S
TRICKED EVERYBODY.
HE'S VERY HANDSOME.
YEAH, JUST WANT TO BE
CLEAR ABOUT THE DIG
THAT I'M PUTTING
ON HIM.
HE'S HANDSOME IN SORT
OF LIKE, IT WOULDN'T
SHOCK ME IF I WATCHED
SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER
AGAIN AND HE WAS LIKE
IN THE BACKGROUND.
OH NO, NOT AT ALL.
LIKE IT WOULD BE LIKE,
THAT MAKES SENSE.
LAST WEEK I SPOKE
ABOUT THE TEXAS GOP
PLATFORM, AND HOW
THEY CONDONE GAY
REPARATIVE THERAPY IN
THEIR PLATFORM, AND
HOW RIDICULOUS IT IS.
SO RICK PERRY WENT ON
TO DEFEND THAT AT A
PLACE CALLED THE COMMONWEALTH
CLUB OF CALIFORNIA.
TRIPLE C--
- OH HE WAS HERE?
- HE WAS HERE.
FIRST IT JUST SAID CCC,
AND I THOUGHT
WHY WOULD ANYONE
SPEAK AT CALIFORNIA
CHICKEN CAFE, BUT
IT'S NONE OF MY
FUCKING BUSINESS.
OH YEAH, I WAS
THINKING IT WAS AT
C AND C CALIFORNIA. THOSE
TANK TOPS THAT THEY
SELL AT MACY'S.
OR C AND C MUSIC FACTORY.
I THOUGHT HE JOINED C AND C.
THE FIRST THING I
THOUGHT WAS HE
JOINED C AND C MUSIC FACTORY?
WHICH HE COULD DO BECAUSE
YOU KNOW THEY DO LIP SYNCING.
THEY DO.
SO THEY COULD'VE
MADE HIM SOUND LIKE--
HE COULD NOW BE
THE VOICE OF
(SINGS) THINGS THAT
MAKE YOU GO...
(TOGETHER): HMM
AND WE WOULDN'T KNOW.
NO.
SO HERE'S WHAT HE SAID.
RATHER OR NOT YOU FEEL
COMPELLED TO FOLLOW
A PARTICULAR
LIFESTYLE OR NOT--
COMPELLED OK. SO IT'S A
CHOICE, YEAH.
COMPELLED. YOU HAVE THE
ABILITY TO DECIDE NOT TO DO THAT.
I MAY HAVE THE GENETIC
CODING THAT I'M
INCLINED TO BE AN
ALCOHOLIC, BUT I HAVE
THE DESIRE NOT TO DO
THAT, AND I LOOK
AT THE HOMOSEXUAL
ISSUE THE SAME WAY.
FIRST OF ALL, FALSE I BET
YOU DRINK YOURSELF
SILLY EVERY NIGHT.
UH, TOTALLY. AND UM,
JUST COMPARING MAI TAI
TO A GAY PERSON IS--
YEAH.
--IT'S OFFENSIVE.
IT'S SO OFFENSIVE--
BUT TRUE. I MEAN LIKE
FOR INSTANCE, GAY
BARS IN CASE NO ONE
ELSE KNOWS, THERE'S
NO ALCOHOL THERE
BECAUSE YOU'RE GAY.
SO YOU JUST GO.
YOU CAN'T DOUBLE DIP.
NO YOU CAN'T, BECAUSE
IF YOU'RE GAY AND
YOU DRINK, IT JUST MEANS
LIKE YOU KNOW,
GAY IS LIKE BEING AN
ALCOHOLIC, AND ALCOHOL
FOR AN ALCOHOLIC.
I MEAN--
YEAH. IT'S LIKE SMOKING
AND BEING
A LESBIAN.
EXACTLY.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
NO, BUT YEAH. RICK PERRY
WENT ON CNBC,
AND HE WAS ASKED
BY JOE KERNEN...
(JOE): YOU WOULDN'T THINK
THAT SOMEONE WHO
IS HETEROSEXUAL THAT YOU
COULDN'T CHANGE
THEM INTO A HOMOSEXUAL
OR SOMEONE WHO IS
HOMOSEXUAL, YOU DON'T
THINK THERE SHOULD BE
THERAPY TO TRY TO
CHANGE THEM INTO A
HETEROSEXUAL.
NO I DON'T KNOW.
THE FACT IS WE'LL LEAVE
THAT TO THE PSYCHOLOGISTS
AND THE
DR.'S AND STUFF.
(JOE): THE PSYCHOLOGISTS SAY,
THEY'VE ALREADY
WEIGHED IN. THEY'VE
DISMISSED THE IDEA THAT
SEXUAL ORIENTATION IS
A MENTAL DISORDER...
AND PSYCHOLOGISTS AND
DR.'S HAVE SAID THAT
IT DOESN'T WORK.
LITERALLY THE
AMERICAN PSYCHIATRIC
ASSOCIATION HAS SAID
THIS DOES NOT WORK.
LOOK AT CATERPILLARS.
GREAT ARGUMENT.
WELL JUST CATERPILLARS
CAN LIKE,
IF YOU CUT THEM IN
HALF THEY'LL REGENERATE?
I DON'T THINK THAT'S
TRUE AT ALL.
IT'LL FUCK ITSELF
WHILE IT'S DOING IT.
DEFINITELY NOT TRUE.
- YEAH.
- YEAH.
SO THAT'S LIKE A WHAT?
THAT'S LIKE UM,
I'M SAYING NATURE--
THAT'S LIKE--
IF NATURE DOES WEIRD STUFF--
OH.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
OK.
NATURE DOES REAL COOL
STUFF. NATURE'S LIKE
OUTSIDE OF THE
BOX THINKING.
AND SO WHY CAN'T THAT
BE TRUE FOR HUMANS?
- YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
- GREAT...
I DON'T LIKE BEING NORMAL.
IT'S BORING.
YOU'RE NOT.
SO AGAIN, IT'S
UNFORTUNATE, REALLY IS IT
UNFORTUNATE, BUT THE
REPUBLICAN PARTY
IS AT THIS POINT LIGHT
YEARS BEHIND EVERY
ONE ELSE WHEN IT
COMES TO AN ISSUE
LIKE THIS.
SO PERRY WENT ON TO
SAY I DON'T CONDONE
THAT LIFESTYLE,
I DON'T CONDEMN IT
EITHER. THE FACT IS
THAT PEOPLE WILL
DECIDE WHERE THEY
WANT TO LIVE IF
WASHINGTON WILL
RESPECT THE 10TH
AMENDMENT...
WHICH BASICALLY MEANS
LIKE LET'S LEAVE THIS
TO THE STATES, AND
PEOPLE CAN LIVE WHEREVER
THERE'S GAY MARRIAGE
LEGAL IN THE STATES.
THAT'S A FUN ARGUMENT
BECAUSE IF YOU'RE LIKE
A GAY KID--
MM-HMM.
--AND YOU'RE BEING
GAY BASHED AT SCHOOL
ALL YOU DO IS--
IT'S SO EASY.
--YOU GRAB YOUR
FUCKING HOBO WITH YOUR--
THAT'S IT.
--LEGOS AND TRANSFORMERS.
SO EASY. JUST TELL
YOUR PARENTS GO GET
NEW CAREERS--
YEAH.
--IN A BRAND NEW STATE.
HI GUYS, IT'S VERY
EASY TO FIX THIS.
WE HAVE TO RUN
AWAY FROM IT.
YEAH, AND HE SAYS THAT
IF WE DO THAT AMERICA WILL
BE SUBSTANTIALLY HAPPIER.
MM... I DISAGREE
WITH HIM.
THERE'S NOTHING LIKE
LIVING IN A PLACE YOU
DON'T WANT TO BE.
BUT LET ME SAY THIS.
I HAVE RECENTLY BEEN,
MY MIND HAS BEEN
CHANGED, BECAUSE
I READ AN ARTICLE,
I DON'T KNOW WHERE,
WHATEVER--
WHO CARES.
--NPR SLASH NEW YORK
TIMES SLASH LA TIMES, WHATEVER
ONE OF THOSE 3, ABOUT
THE IMPORTANCE OF
DIFFERENT PEOPLE
LIVING IN THE
NEIGHBORHOODS YOU KNOW,
TOGETHER LIKE
ARCADE FIRE
NEIGHBORHOODS, AND
YOU HAVE TO WORK SHIT
OUT, BECAUSE IF YOU LIVE
IN A PART OF THE WORLD,
OR YOU LIVE IN
A CITY KIND OF LIKE LA
AND EVERYONE IS KIND
OF JUST LIKE AGREES ON
THE SAME STUFF THERE'S NO--
CHANCE FOR CHANGE.
--THERE'S NO CHANCE
FOR CHANGE.
THANK YOU.
I WOULD SAY THAT MOST
PEOPLE WOULD AGREE
THAT GAY PEOPLE
ARE BORN THIS WAY.
I REALLY LOOK FORWARD
TO A DAY WHERE
WE JUST DON'T HAVE
TO SAY THAT ANYMORE.
I THINK THAT IT'S
SO AWFUL.
IS THAT YOU'RE SICK
OF THE SONG?
BECAUSE IT ALMOST
SEEMS LIKE--
BECAUSE I'M SICK OF
THE SONG, AND IT
ALMOST SEEMS LIKE
SOME WEIRD EXCUSE
FOR SOMETHING LIKE,
I WAS BORN THIS WAY.
TO ME WHAT IT IMPLIES
IS I CAN'T HELP IT.
I WILL ALSO SAY, PEOPLE
HAVE KIND OF
LIKE CALLED OFF THE DOGS
ON HILARY CLINTON
RECENTLY FOR THAT
INTERVIEW THAT SHE
DID WITH TERRY GROSS,
WHERE TERRY GROSS
SAID LIKE, I DON'T
UNDERSTAND, SHE SAID
IT NICER THAN THIS, BUT
I DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHY IT TOOK YOU SO
LONG TO EVOLVE ON GAY
MARRIAGE. DID YOU NOT
SPEAK UP BECAUSE YOU
THOUGHT IT WAS A BAD
POLITICAL MOVE OR
BECAUSE YOU GENUINELY
WERE TRYING TO EVOLVE.
AND HILLARY CLINTON,
YOU KNOW, I DON'T WANT TO
SAY ERUPTED, BUT GOT
SNAPPY, AND WAS LIKE
I DON'T UNDERSTAND
THIS. I SUPPORT GAY
MARRIAGE. I DON'T
KNOW WHY THIS IS SUCH
A BIG DEAL. I GET WHAT
YOU'RE GUNNING
FOR, AND THAT'S NOT
THE CASE, AND BLAH-BLAH...
EITHER WAY THE ANSWER
IS BAD. YOU KNOW
WHAT I MEAN?
AND ALSO GOOD. EITHER
WAY THE RESULT IS SHE
SUPPORTS GAY MARRIAGE,
AND THAT'S
DEFINITELY MORE THAN
YOU CAN SAY FOR
SOMEONE WHO, A PARTY
THAT HAS NO PROBLEM
WITH SOMEONE COMPARING
IT TO ALCOHOLISM.
LET'S TAKE WHAT WE CAN GET.
AND I'LL TAKE AN
ALCOHOLIC PARTY ANYTIME.
OK.
BRYAN, OK THERE'S THIS
THING CALLED E3
AND IT'S NOT THAT
LIQUID STUFF THAT,
THAT LIQUID
CHLOROPHYLL STUFF
THAT YOU GET AT EARTH--
I KNOW WHAT IT IS. IT'S
THE GREEN STUFF YOU
GET AT LIKE, UH, EARTH
CAFE, OR LIKE A
JUICE PLACE, AND YOU
TAKE A SHOT OF IT.
- YES, IT IS THAT--
- ALGAE.
--BUT IT'S ALSO A
CONVENTION FOR GAMERS.
OOH YEAH.
IT'S LIKE THE UPFRONTS
FOR VIDEO GAMES.
SO THE E3 CONVENTION,
YOU KNOW THEY'RE TALKING
ABOUT VIDEO GAMES,
AND YOU WON'T BE
SURPRISED BY THIS FACT.
THERE WAS A VERY
LARGE DEARTH OF
FEMALE REPRESENTATION.
THERE WERE VERY FEW
NEW VIDEO GAMES WITH
FEMALE CHARACTERS.
GOT YA.
YEAH. ASSASSIN'S CREED--
IT'S LIKE THE BAND
HUNTING DOWN THE WIZARD
OR WHATEVER.
YES. IT'S EVERYONE FROM CREED.
THIS IS REALLY THEIR
SAVING GRACE--
YEAH.
--THESE PAST COUPLE
OF YEARS THESE
ASSASSIN CREEDS,
CREED VIDEOS.
YOU CHOOSE TO BE
THE ONE WITH THE LONG HAIR,
OR ANY OF THE
OTHER ONES.
THEY ALL LOOK THE
SAME, SO YOU REALLY
JUST DESCRIBED THE
WHOLE BAND, BUT YEAH,
YOU DEFINITELY, DEFINITELY
GET A TANK TOP.
YEAH.
I KNOW THAT FOR SURE.
YEP.
TANK TOP AND JEANS.
AND A RUDE TOOTH.
SO THE ASSASSIN'S CREED
NEW GAME TAKES
PLACE DURING THE
FRENCH REVOLUTIONARY
WAR. THE COMPANY THAT
MAKES IT IS CALLED UBISOFT.
OH, I LIKE THAT.
OR UBEE-SOFT?
YEAH.
UB40.
- YEAH.
- YEAH, EXACTLY.
RED RED WINE.
I LOVE THAT DRINK,
AND I LOVE THAT SONG.
IS THAT THE SONG
THAT'S PLAYING
WHILE YOU DO
FRENCH REVOLUTION?
YEAH.
I READ SOMETHING
RECENTLY THAT "RED
RED WINE" HAS BEEN IN
THE TOP TEN REGGAE
SONGS ON THE CHARTS
SINCE IT CAME OUT.
I CAN'T THINK OF A
BETTER THING THAT
WHITE PEOPLE HAVE DONE
WHEN APPROPRIATING
ANOTHER CULTURE'S
SONG THAN THAT RIGHT THERE.
- YEAH.
- YEAH.
THAT KIND OF MUSIC.
DURING COOPERATIVE
MODE WHICH IS WHERE
YOU CAN PLAY WITH
OTHER PEOPLE.
- MM-HMM.
- MAKES SENSE.
IT'S NOT WHERE YOU BUY
AN APARTMENT AND
EVERYBODY HAS TO PAY
FOR THE ROOF--
OH I KNOW IT.
IT'S A CO-OP.
CLOSED TO THAT YEAH.
YEAH.
IT SHOWS 4 ASSASSINS
WORKING TOGETHER
TO ELIMINATE THEIR TARGETS.
WHEN ASKED IF
PLAYERS WOULD BE ABLE
TO CHOOSE A FEMALE
ASSASSIN UBISOFT SAID
THEY WON'T, THEY WOULDN'T
BECAUSE CREATING FEMALE
CHARACTERS WOULD
REQUIRE TOO MUCH
ADDITIONAL WORK.
THE GUY WHO'S THE HEAD
OF UBISOFT SAID,
AND I MEAN IT'S
SOMETHING THE TEAM
REALLY WANTED BUT WE
HAD TO MAKE A DECISION.
SO THEY WERE SAYING
THAT IN ORDER TO MAKE
A FEMALE CHARACTER IT
ESTIMATED THAT MORE
THAN 8,000 ANIMATIONS
WOULD HAVE TO BE
RECREATED ON A
DIFFERENT SKELETON.
SO YOU COULD EXPECT
THAT IT WILL HAPPEN
EVENTUALLY IN THE BRAND.
I'VE NEVER HEARD
ANYONE SAY EVENTUALLY
TO ME AND THEN IT
COME TRUE.
EVER.
IF EVENTUALLY ACTUALLY
HAPPENED THEY
WOULD'VE DONE THELMA
AND LOUISE 2 AND THEY
WOULD'VE BOUNCED
BACK FROM IT.
OH, YEAH. YOU'RE
ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
THAT'S THE LAMEST
THING I'VE EVER HEARD.
I KNOW, WELL HERE'S
WHAT ELSE IS FUNNY
ABOUT IT.
THE CREATIVE DIRECTOR
FOR THE ORIGINAL
ASSASSIN'S CREED,
PATRICE DESILETS,
HE SAID IT'S TRUE, IF
YOU DO A BIG GIANT
CHARACTER AND A SMALL
CHARACTER, OR A WOMAN
AND A GUY, IT'S DIFFERENT,
BUT THAT
SHOULDN'T STOP YOU
WITH ALL THE TIME,
MONEY, AND PEOPLE ON
THAT PROJECT YOU
COULD'VE DONE IT.
WELL YOU KNOW WHAT,
I DON'T BLAME THEM.
REALLY ONLY BECAUSE OF
THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED.
WHY WOULD I EVER TAKE
A ROAD WHERE THERE'S A WEED.
RIGHT. I MEAN AND ALSO
I FEEL IF YOU THINK
ABOUT IT, WHEN YOU TAKE
THE ROAD THAT YOU'RE
ARROGANTLY GOING ON
THEN YOU WOULDN'T
DISCOVER AMERICA.
OH, I LOVE THAT.
RIGHT.
I'LL NEVER FORGET WHEN
COLUMBUS FOUND
THAT PAVEMENT, AND
JUST TOOK THAT ROAD
ALL THE WAY THERE.
WELL THAT'S WHEN YOU
FOUND OUT THAT THE
NINA, MARIA AND SANTA MARIA--
UH, SURE.
--HOW WHEN THEY GO ON
LAND, THERE'S ACTUALLY
A FULL WHEEL SYSTEM.
YEAH, THEY WHEELED--
IT'S LIKE A PARADE THING.
THEY WHEELED THOSE SHIPS.
YEAH.
THOSE SHIPS HAD WHEELS
AND THEY JUST WERE LIKE
OH I GUESS WE DON'T
NEED THESE.
YEAH THAT'S--
LET'S EASE ON IN.
JONATHAN COOPER, NOT
ANDERSON COOPER'S BROTHER,
HE WAS THE ANIMATION
DIRECTOR ON
ASSASSIN'S CREED 3,
HE TWEETED,
IN MY EDUCATED OPINION,
I WOULD ESTIMATE
THIS TO BE A DAY OR
TWO'S WORK. NOT A
REPLACEMENT OF 8000
ANIMATIONS.
THEN YOU SHOULD'VE
DONE IT BOZO'S.
YEAH. HE WAS
BASICALLY LIKE, UH,
EX-SQUEEZE ME--
YEAH.
--BUT FUCK YA'LL.
YEAH.
SO STUDIES HAVE SHOWN
THAT CONSISTENTLY
SINCE THE 90S THE
PERCENTAGE OF FEMALE
CHARACTERS IN VIDEO GAMES
HAS REMAINED 15% PERCENT.
SO THIS IS 24 YEARS LATER
THERE HAS BEEN
A 0% PERCENT INCREASE.
WHICH IS INTERESTING BECAUSE
% PERCENT OF GAMERS
NOW ARE FEMALE, BECAUSE OF
MOBILE GAMES.
RIGHT, BECAUSE OF LIKE CANDY
CRUSH, AND ANGRY BIRDS--
CANDY CRUSH. YEAH.
SOMEONE TOLD ME I WAS
GAMER BECAUSE I DID SOLITAIRE.
YEAH, OH, YOU'RE THE
BIGGEST GAMER OF ALL.
YOU'RE DOING
CLASSIC GAMING.
YEAH.
IN 2013, ONLY 4% PERCENT
OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS
IN THE TOP 25 VIDEO
GAMES WERE WOMAN.
GEESH.
WHILE THE PERCENTAGE OF
FEMALE GAMERS HAVE
INCREASED AS I SAID IT
WAS DUE TO THE RISE
OF MOBILE GAMES WHICH
OFTEN DON'T HAVE CHARACTERS.
RIGHT.
BECAUSE WHERE... I MEAN
IF NOT A FEMALE
CHARACTER THEN
CANDY CRUSH.
RIGHT.
HERE'S THE THING, WHO
CARES THE ASSASSIN IS A GIRL?
- GIRLS.
- EVERYBODY... YEAH.
ONCE YOU NORMALIZE
WOMAN IN THESE
SITUATIONS THEN IT
DOESN'T BECOME A BIG
DEAL.
NO QUESTION THERE SHOULD BE MANY MORE
ROLES FOR ANIMATED
WOMAN TOO.
YEAH. BY THE WAY, YOU
CAN SEE HOW MUCH I
FUCKIN' KNOW ABOUT IT,
BECAUSE I NEVER
PLAYED VIDEO GAMES.
I ONLY PLAY LIMBO WITH
A DEAD SILHOUETTE KID,
WHO GOES THROUGH
OLD SIGNS AND STUFF,
AND I WOULD LIKE THE
OPPORTUNITY TO PLAY A
LITTLE DEAD GIRL.
(SIGH) YOU PLAYED LIMBO
WITH A DEAD KID?
WELL IT'S NOT LIMBO
(DOES THE SONG)
OOH.
YOU'RE IN LIMBO LIKE
YOU DON'T KNOW IF
YOU'RE IN HEAVEN OR NOT.
OH, THAT GAME THAT
YOU PLAY WHEN AND YOU
TURN UP TRENT REZNOR--
I PUT ON NINE INCH NAILS
OR SIGUR ROS ON.
AND I CRY, AND THAT'S
WHEN I WAS SMOKING THE
MOST, BECAUSE I WOULD
SMOKE, PLAY LIMBO,
LISTEN TO NINE INCH
NAILS, AND I, GOD...
DID YOU TURN
INTO (INAUDIBLE)?
- OH YEAH.
- YEAH.
I ABSOLUTELY DID, AND
THEN I DID A PARTY MONSTER.
YEAH.

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