CODY enters the bathroom in quite a panic, he really has to pee. Passing the first stall with an out of order sign, he enters the second stall. Quickly exiting the stall with a sound of disgust he enters the third stall, he exits the third stall even quicker.
Oh dear, Chris Angel help me.
CODY goes back to the first out of order stall.
CODY (tearing the out of
order sign off the door)
A sign directly on the toilette says “No, really. You do not want to use this stall.”
What are you? My mother?
We have a view of CODYs feet under the stall wall.
Sound of flushing.
Hey, this button is new.
Hear CODY hit a button, an exaggerated sound is heard.
Lights begin flashing in the bathroom; the entire bathroom begins to shake. CODY is heard crashing against the wall of the stall.
An Earthquake? In Alberta? Well if this isn’t setting up for something weird!
Int. Temporal Time Closet
CODY is visibly shaken as the earthquake subsides. Looking around it appears he is now in what appears to be a janitor’s closet (or office room). CODY looks around curiously wondering where he is. Looking behind him he sees a nervous kid in a chair, doing what appears to be texting.
Uhhh, hello? Can you tell me where I am?
NERVOUS KID (Shocked)
Who… what… how did you get here? Who are you!?
There was an earthquake… and… all of a sudden I’m here
The NK looks at Cody, Cody looks back at the nervous kid, staring, not blinking, building tension.
Your fly is down.
CODY (Zipping up his fly with a jump. Then shouting)
Where am I!?
The fact of where you are matters very little at this juncture in time, think of it as a temporal time closet. (Hushed) Oh god I’m going to lose my job over this one, and I just started working here. Oh, gee. Boss isn’t going to like this, not one bit.
You’re going to have more to worry about then your boss if you don’t tell me what’s going on soon!
Cody picks up a nearby innocuous object and brandishes it menacingly.
I swear! I didn’t mean to bring you here! It was a simple problem with the micro-quantum loop transducer, I set it for one!
What was it supposed to be set for?
NERVOUS KID looks at his phone.
NK (Almost crying)
TWO, OH DEAR TWO! THE HORROR! THE HORROR!
Your phone told you that?
Although this device may be parallel in looks to the primitive cave tools of your time it actually is eons more advanced than any mere (his device rings) Hold on, I have to take this. Hello?… I get off work at 4:30…
But moooom- I don’t want to go to a space opera… I don’t care if my sisters in it! She can eat a mynock! No, please don’t! I’m sorry I said that!
The NERVOUS KID begins to shake as if he was getting tasered from some unknown source.
OK, OK, I’ll go! I’ll go! Bye… yeah… Okay. (Whispering) Love you too.
I need to get home man! I don’t want to die in this future… wait do you still have The Simpsons?
Cancelled after season 326, it jumped the shark in season 295.
I need to get home man!
Well I can do it, it’s just that this is kind of my first day… (Assuredly) But don’t worry! I’ll have you back in no time!
NK pulls out his cell phone looking device.
Say extinct like a scotsman! Oh crap you shouldn’t know that…
Wait is this safe for m-!
And in the blink of an eye Cody vanishes. The NERVOUS KID checks his device.
Ahhhh in the name of the 46th president his holy robot emperor Dick Cheney, I forgot to set it back to one. Well at least the base code for location is right.
EXT. Front of McCoy
A fat kid with a lisp is sitting at a table. He notices the camera.
Oh hey man, sup? Hey you wanna hear something weird? Come here.
He motions for the camera to come closer.
Wanna know what I heard? You know that kid who went missing? The little kid? Yeah, they found his body over in the soccer field. But you wanna know what the thing was? It was 15,000 years old. But the dental match… the dental records match. Yeah, scared? You should be.